Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

My good friend from work just called me to tell me that her grandmother passed away. The grandmother did not want there to be a wake and she requested to be cremated. However, my friend's father needs to do something for some closure, so they are planning on having a mass on either monday or tuesday, and then my friend's mother is going to have people back to their house.

If there had been a wake, I would have attended. I am not planning on attending the mass. What can I send to her family, aside from a card? Would you send flowers to the church, or food to the home?

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I'm not catholic, but I do mass cards for any Catholic death. It means that a church then says a prayer for the dead. If you're going to the house I would bring food, but probably wouldn't if you aren't going.

Message edited 2/25/2006 11:11:06 AM.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

i def wouldnt send anything to the church. i'd send it to the home.

ETA: i usually send food bc it gets more use than flowers.

Message edited 2/25/2006 11:04:56 AM.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Food to the home is always good, especially since she said they are having people back. Can never have enough food. You could send fruit, sandwich platter from a deli, cookie tray.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I would buy a Mass Card.
You go to your local parish, a church or their local parish.. etc and make a donation for a mass to be said in honor of your friend's Grandmother. They will either pick the first available or you can ask for a special day... birthdays, anniversary of her death.. etc... then they give you a nice card and you give that the family.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I am catholic and Either is okay.

I would probably send food to the house or a basket.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

i did a breakfast basket with muffins and stuff from mrs beasley recently and the family really appreciated it

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I would do a mass card and I would probably send a basket of fruit, crackers and cheese - most local florists can make them up and send them for you.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

next question: Would you have something delivered before the mass, or on the day of? I just spoke to my coworker (the three of us are interns and share an office), and I'm going to send something from both of us.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I usally do the day after. After friends and family leave its a nice thing to receive to brighten their day.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

The day of.
but find out what time the services run so that you won't have the food delivered when no on is at home.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Message edited 2/25/2006 11:31:11 AM.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

A mass card and food, sent to the house.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I would go with the mass card.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

I would send a Mass card and a basket of some kind of food....like mini muffins or cookies. Flowers are usually displayed at a wake and funeral and then left on the grave so I wouldn't send flowers.

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

After dh's mom died, we got so much food that is was really nice. Its always a nice diea to do this - I might suggest somehting that like a cookie basket, cracker basket or fruit or something that is wrapped and doesn't have to be opened immediatley and can be saved (tin of cookies, etc) b/c there is almost an overload of food right away but over time, they might not be up for shopping and all still but will have visitors dropping by.

As for the card, you can get one anywhere - don't worry about a mass card - go to hallmark and get a sympathy card!

you might also want to consider a donation in her grandma's name to a charity or non-profit she was involved in, supported, etc. instead of the food thing - depending on what you want....

if you are not going to the church, maybe you can offer to go by and help set up a little before they get there instead of even bringing anything? (sorry, this might be a lot but thought I would throw it out there!)

your friend is lucky to have such a supportive and thoughtful person in her life....

Re: Need advice on what to do for a Catholic funeral..

Honestly, I think any of the gestures mentioned would be nice - any of them show that you are thinking of your friend in her time of grief.

If you are sending something, I would agree with sending it the day before, or afterwards, whether it is the next day or a week later. I also think the day of is hectic, but if you know for sure they will be home, sending it when people are at the house might work.

I would not send flowers to the church. IMO, if things are a bit hectic, they may not even be made aware that the flowers were sent for them. If I were going to send flowers, I would send them to the house. I know that when my parents died, it was a lot to take in at once and I don't know if anyone would have realized the flowers were sent to the church. If they were having a wake, I would say send them to the funeral home, but since they will only be in the church for a short time, I wouldn't send them there. Again, that is JMO.

My condolences for your friend

Message edited 2/25/2006 1:45:46 PM.