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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
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When/ How did you know that you were ready
DH and I are in the VERY early stages of baby talks (as in- we can now say the word baby in front of each other without nervously changing the topic  ). but i'm curious to see how everyone else made their decisions for when 'the right time' was.
how old were you when you have your first child?
how long had you been married?
how did you know you were ready?
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations?
what were your reservations/ concerns?
... and any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
Thanks so much! 
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Posted 10/24/05 12:22 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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MrsR
My love.
Member since 5/05 6247 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? I am 30 - my DH is 31
how long had you been married? we were married 4 months when we got pregnant
how did you know you were ready? I could totally tell my clock was ticking - I started having dreams that I was a mom, when I woke up and realized I wasn't it made me so sad.
In addition my DH and I were married, had a house, stable jobs, we were approaching ours 30's and we figured we had nothing holding us back.
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? He actually started asking when we were going to have kids before we were married - he was ready before I was.
what were your reservations/ concerns?
Who would take care of the baby. Was I able to stay home, could we make it on his salary alone?
I don't think you could ever be totally ready, and even if you are - in my opinion when you have the baby you realize you actually had no idea what to expect...but it is WONDERFUL! Fufilling, and Fun to be a mom.
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| Posted 10/24/05 7:15 AM |
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Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
Name:
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? 28
how long had you been married? Almost 3 years.
how did you know you were ready? I can't say that I "knew" I was really ready. The money was there, we had the space, and I had completed my graduate degree so logistics were set, but the emotional side is never really certain. Too much is unknown to feel 100% confident.
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? We were in agreement. (Which is very important!!)
what were your reservations/ concerns? I was more concerned about not trying -- basically a fear of infertility and wanting to be sure that we'd have plenty of time to have two children even if I had problems conceiving.
... and any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
1) Try to take at least one dream trip before having the baby. 
2) Make sure you both are in agreement to start trying, you are going to need the support, and do not want to hear, "You wanted the baby" when he/she is crying for the fourth time in the middle of the night.
3) Is your career where you want it to be? Would a year or two matter in the long term?
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| Posted 10/24/05 8:07 AM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
since i'm 34 we're not going to wait too long. once we find a bigger place, we'll be talking more about it
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| Posted 10/24/05 8:54 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
We decided we would be married for a year and then TTC. Anniversary was Dec, got preggo in January! I was 29, DH 30 when we conceived. Since we want three children, I want to have them all by 35 so I don't have to fall into the high risk category simply becasue of age. Plus, we both had good jobs, a nice home, had spent our time at the bars and at parties, took a few nice vacations, and a baby just seemed like the next natural step.
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| Posted 10/24/05 9:08 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
How old: DH - 31 Me - 27
How long married: when we got pg...a couple of days...when he arrived - 9 months (HM baby)
How did we know we were ready? We didn't. We weren't. It was a total shock.
Were we on the same page? Yes. Petrified.
What were our reservations? Everything. Could we afford daycare, could our young marriage survive a surprise pg, would we be good parents....
What I can tell you is that if you look at us - totally unexpected HM baby born to a couple that did NOT LTBM and had not even ruled out the option of never having children - and see that we did it and we are fine, very happy, even...maybe it will help answer some of your pre-TTC concerns.
We were totally unprepared for this and utterly terrified. But here we are, our baby is here, and we are very very happy and doing just fine. 
In alot of ways we had all the concerns any couple has, whether they are carefully planning TTC or surprised by a PG.
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| Posted 10/24/05 9:11 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
Thank you for all of the input and insight!! I apprecaite it so much!!
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| Posted 10/24/05 11:55 AM |
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iffer042373
5 weeks till I'm a big sister
Member since 5/05 2642 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? 32
how long had you been married? we were dating and just got engaged last year
how did you know you were ready? We didn't know we were ready. Marissa was not planned and new it would be a little rough but I don't know anyone who was 100% ready to heave a baby
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? Well since our daughter was not planned we were both in shock and we discussed it and he was just as happy as I was
what were your reservations/ concerns? The only concerns I had was will we be able to do this financially and since we were dating would this put a strain on the relationship and I gotta tell you our daughter has brought us closer together.
Message edited 10/24/2005 12:04:50 PM.
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| Posted 10/24/05 12:00 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? We were both 28
how long had you been married? almost 3 years
how did you know you were ready? We felt the need to have a baby...
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? We first discussed it and he wasn't ready....that was around christmas 2 years ago. When it was ime to try last summer...he was ready...
what were your reservations/ concerns? We didn't have a house...how much more would it cost?
... and any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
As corny as it may sound...you'll know when you're ready...and if you think that you don't have everything planned perfect...the perfect house, room, job, life...etc...you'll never have a baby. Life isn't perfect...
Thanks so much!
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| Posted 10/24/05 12:09 PM |
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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
How old: DH - 28 Me - 25
How long married: about 2 years, but we were together for 9 years.
How did we know we were ready? A family member had a baby and we went to the hosptial to visit and we both looked at each other as soona s we got in the car and we just knew it!! That week, I got pregnant!!!!
Were we on the same page? Yes. We were soooo excited.
What were our reservations? We never had any, except that we were going to miss our partying days, we liked to party BIG time. The keg would have to make way for a bassinet
3 kids later, we feel we have done everything the rigth way, wouldn't change a thing!!!!
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| Posted 10/24/05 1:58 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? 33
how long had you been married? we wanted to wait until we were married one year. Got pregnant at the one year mark.
how did you know you were ready? we didn't - we agreed on the year since we were getting the grandparent pressure and the annoying questions. I don't think anyone is ever really ready to be a parent or prepared for what being a parent means.
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? Yes on same page but both thinking we're not qualified to be parents
what were your reservations/ concerns?
This is going to sound strange but I always thought DH would die young since every male in his family died in their 40s. In fact this was the main reason I wanted to have children at the year mark. I wanted him to experience having a baby before something like that happened. The biggest concern was to be sure I could handle them financially on my own
... and any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
I would start charting ovulation even if you're just thinking about it. (Webmd is a good site - adjustable cycles). Become aware of when you think you're ovulating, etc. Talk to your ob/gyn. If you have any issues with genetics, get your tests done now. Stop any habits you plan to before you get pregnant - your eggs are already created and you would want to keep them healthy - so eating right, smoking, alcohol, drugs are affecting eggs now. Also discussing baby logistics, his expectations on helping out, etc is helpful. Careerwise - you would want to figure out whether you'll be working after you have the baby and if that's the place you want to be working. Look at the maternity leave benefits, insurance plans, etc.
and of course lastly, in the end, you'll never regret having your baby
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| Posted 10/24/05 2:45 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? I am PG with my first, I am 30yrs old an so is my DH.
how long had you been married? Six years
how did you know you were ready? When we both wanted to start trying and when we felt we could financially handle it.
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? It was weird, I had reservations, then he did, then I did again, etc. However, we did start trying when we both did not have reservations.
what were your reservations/ concerns? Financial, the stability of our marriage (we went through some tough times in the beginning), plus I wanted to be a SAHM sothis goes back to the financial issue. I guess I wanted to make sure that we were both in "Baby Mode".
I do not regret waiting for a second. Although I had to deal with family constantly asking "so, when are you going to have a baby???" and almost all of my friends who got married after me had their children before I did. I was jealous at first, but then I realized that I needed things to be stable and secure on so many levels before I would entertain the thought of getting PG. I admit a lot of my decision making was purely based in the fact the my parents married young and had me a year after marriage. They fought all the time over money, or anything else in front of my brother and I. They ended up divorced after 25 years of marriage, so I wanted to do the polar opposite of what my parents did.
That is just what worked for me, I hope it helps. Good Luck to you and your DH! 
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| Posted 10/24/05 3:04 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old were you when you have your first child? 21
how long had you been married?
We had been engaged for a year and had a wedding planned for 6 months later
how did you know you were ready?
We weren't. Christopher was a complete and total surprise
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations?
Yes, we were on the same page
what were your reservations/ concerns?
DH and I were both extremely worried at first; we weren't married yet, and we didn't have our own place yet. Within two months after hearing the news, we had a small wedding ceremony and we got our own place. We were determined to make it work out and I'd say that we did a good job.
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| Posted 10/24/05 3:12 PM |
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Sassy2611
My Ray of sunshine
Member since 5/05 1101 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
how old we're you? I was 24 and DH was 25 when Kaylee was born.
how long had you been married?we got married in september and i got PG in november. We had been together for 6 years before getting married.
how did you know you were ready? We always wanted a family of our own and we both wanted to be young parents. I was also told i would have a hard time getting PG so to start trying asap.
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations? Yes, My Dh wanted kids right after we were married
.
what were your reservations/ concerns?
I always wanted my career and my house before having a family. After i thought about it for awhile i realized they can all wait i really wanted a family no matter what the draw backs were. Now i have my family and we just closed on a house and i am going back to school form my masters degree.
... and any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
One thing i learned is you will never be PREPARED for a baby, financialy, mentaly or physically. When you have a baby some how everything just works out. I don't know how but it all comes togther. I love being a mom and would not trade it for anything in the world. Best of luck.
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| Posted 10/24/05 3:27 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
you ladies are Amazing!!!
Thank you sooo much for all of the responses. I know i asked alot, but i truly apprciate all the time you put into offering your experiences and insights.
Thank you so much!!
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| Posted 10/24/05 10:06 PM |
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
Posted by neeniebean86
how old were you when you have your first child?
how long had you been married?
how did you know you were ready?
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations?
what were your reservations/ concerns?
... and any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
Thanks so much!
LOL.. how old were you when you have your first child?--I had my son when I was 21
how long had you been married?-postponed our wedding for six months after baby-- We were together since Dec 99,a nd had our son in March of 03
how did you know you were ready?.. We didnt.. Although he was a surprise.. even if they are planned (ie baby #2).. I dont think anyone is truly ready..
was your DH on the same page as you, or did he have many reservations?
what were your reservations/ concerns?
We both had our worries.. that what makes you into good parents... Finances, mainly... I had almost competed my degree, but put it on hold for my family.. My family has become my career for the time being.. I ama SAHM.. but I wouldnt have it any other way!!
any other advice you can offer to a couple just starting to think about it?
You and your DH love each other, thats most important.. The next steps will come.. The same way you got engaged and married.. Dont worry about money-- It will somehow all work out.. and show up when needed.. I am a SAHM and although our biggest disagreements ae still about our finances.. Somehow things all work out! Have fun! We kinda wanted to be surprised with baby #2.. No charting, no predicitons, just an idea to start BD .. and we conceived that month!!! LOL.. Let go and Let god.. thats what someone told me when I was asking the same questions three years ago... Best choice I made! ;o)
Best of Luck.. HTH
Message edited 10/25/2005 1:38:59 AM.
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| Posted 10/25/05 1:34 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
Neenie! How exciting!!!
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| Posted 10/25/05 11:59 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: When/ How did you know that you were ready
Posted by Moehick
Neenie! How exciting!!!
we're still about a year or so away from TTC though- probably next sept/october-ish (we tend to talk about things for a looooooooooong time before actually doing them )
Thank you, again, ladies!
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| Posted 10/25/05 3:20 PM |
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