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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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TTC/INF meltdown last night
I'm sorry I haven't been on much lately, I started a part time job at night for some extra cash. Last night I just crashed and needed a night for me - so DH & I started watching Family Stone.
At the end of the movie I started tearing up and DH just thought I was reacting to the movie. Once he turned off the TV I started crying even harder. Somewhere in my crying fit, I was able to express that I wonder if I am being punished for something I've done or haven't done in my life. The questions just kept coming out - "why did we lose our son" - "how on earth was it so easy when we weren't TTC" and to find out I have a bloced tube a year into the TTC process that I had to beg for the second test to verify this? The realistic part of my brain knows that I am not being punished - it is my heart that is having trouble right now with that. But month after month of keeping a positive frame of mind saying "We just have to keep trying" gets a little old after a year.
Sorry, I just needed to get that out to someone who understood. Thanks!
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Posted 8/16/06 9:02 AM  |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Posted by dooodles
Somewhere in my crying fit, I was able to express that I wonder if I am being punished for something I've done or haven't done in my life.
Donna, I totally understand...I ask myself this question EVERY SINGLE DAY.
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| Posted 8/16/06 9:21 AM |
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BigB
C & J are 10!
Member since 6/05 5914 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Oh Donna,
I know it is tough! I used to cry every day on my lunch hour! Then I started to see a therapist for a bit and worked some stuff out! It is so okay for you not to understand any of this. I firmly believe that the children we have will never understand how badly they were wanted!
Take each day a day at a time!  
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| Posted 8/16/06 9:37 AM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
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| Posted 8/16/06 9:40 AM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Donna all I can offer is hugs. I cannot imagine losing a child. I miscarried on the same date last year that you lost your son. It is nowhere near the same, but since then we have been trying and I don't understand it either.
All we can do for each other is this - be supportive, listen, and understand...
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| Posted 8/16/06 9:44 AM |
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krashnburn
I am Batman!
Member since 5/05 4093 total posts
Name:
I'm Batman, I tell you!
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
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| Posted 8/16/06 10:06 AM |
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Tumbalina
Better than the news!
Member since 2/06 2840 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
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| Posted 8/16/06 10:07 AM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
I am so sorry, I think we all go through this - its a huge emotional toll and hopefully we'll all be stronger people at the end of the journey
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| Posted 8/16/06 10:18 AM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
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| Posted 8/16/06 10:24 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
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| Posted 8/16/06 10:47 AM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Oh Donna- I am so sorry you are feeling this way since I can't think of anyone more deserving of a healthy baby to love. Having lost a baby like you lost CJ must be the most difficult thing in the world to go through and the strength you showed was incredible.
Its all just so unfair- I am so sorry you have to go through this.
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| Posted 8/16/06 11:01 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Donna, what else can I say but I'm so sorry 
I do KNOW, however, that you are meant to be a Mommy and this is going to happen for you .. I just know it in my heart
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| Posted 8/16/06 11:21 AM |
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angelbear217
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 4313 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Donna,
My heart totally goes out to you. You have been a pillar of strength and completely deserve to lose it every once and a while. Hang in there!
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| Posted 8/16/06 11:25 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Somedays there are no really good words of advise other than to say HUGS.
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| Posted 8/16/06 12:44 PM |
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lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
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| Posted 8/16/06 6:13 PM |
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Jenziba
?
Member since 5/05 6265 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Donna...you know I completely understand and wish that we could have some answers to these questions.
Hopefully, we will have living babies one day...I'm still praying for us EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!!
Please hang in there and be strong...I KNOW it's NOT EASY...but, we need to...
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| Posted 8/16/06 7:30 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Thanks so much to everyone for the words of comfort and support - and the hugs. I really needed to get it out so I didn't harp on it all day.
I hope I am meeting MANY of you next week!
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| Posted 8/16/06 7:42 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
While I don't think I could ever truly understand, I just wanted to give you hugs.
There is no way you're being punished for something you did. If anything, you are owed MANY TIMES OVER.
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| Posted 8/16/06 9:22 PM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Donna,
I do not know all of your history, but I understand your sadness and want to send you lots of
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| Posted 8/17/06 10:53 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: TTC/INF meltdown last night
Donna,
I could never even imagine what you went through. People always tell me I'm so strong but what you went through... I'd be crushed.
You are entitled to have such moments and it's healthy to get these feelings out.
I'm sorry that all I can offer are and and lots of 
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| Posted 8/17/06 2:15 PM |
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