Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

we are staying there half of our trip and she smokes in the kitchen with the window cracked open. Smokes while cooking, immediately after dinner and all the time in between .

The dining room and LR are on the same floor (split level) and the smoke smell is in everything and gets into everything (so I'm going to have a TON of laundry to do).

How in the world do I handle the fact that I don't want Alyson around the smoke? It's her house...how do I ask her not to smoke in it?

Do I take Aly out of the room and go up or downstairs? Do I take her outside? Do I let it slide for 3 days?

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

IMO- you cant...

But what I would do is say- Can you let me know when you are gonna smoke- Its not good for Aly to be around it- so I would like to take her outside, while you are smoking.

If the woman dosent get the hint- then she has issues...

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Maybe say that you guys think Aly is allergic to it - so you have been trying to keep her away from it

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Whenever we're visiting someone that is a smoker, we ask them to please smoke outside when we are there. So far, no complaints, and everyone is eager to comply.

Honestly, if someone refused to do that, I'd simply not visit. Its way too risky, and there is no need for me to put my DD in danger when someone can step a few feet outside to enjoy their smoke.

Have you or DH asked her if she'll go outside, or in her garage? Maybe she'll be happy to comply :)

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Truthfully, I wouldn't stay there.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

That's a tough one since it's her house. I would have my DH talk to her about our concerns with smoke and the baby, she may not even realize smoke is bad for baby or how you feel about it, she may comply since it's only a few days she would need to go outside.

If she doesn't, if it were me, I would take the baby outside, upstairs, anywhere but the smoky area, even if she was in the middle of a sentence after of course DH spoke to her about it. Sooner or later she would get it, if she wants to poison herself that's her decision, but she would not poison my child.
For future visits, I would tell her, her smoking is forcing us into a decision to stay somewhere else.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

My mother smokes so we had the same problem when my son was born. I don't care if it is her house - its my baby. The first time I saw her do it I asked her to please go outside that I didn't want the smoke near the baby. You can't really argue with that IMO.

Also while she is cooking if she MUST smoke if it is nice out I would take your daughter outside for a short walk or if it is not nice out go to the other end of the house and shut the door.

ETA. Also bring lots of fabreze! (sp?)

Message edited 7/6/2006 10:48:38 AM.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Honestly I personally would have refused to stay there unless she agreed not to smoke in her house.
I think since you are staying there you can only try to politely ask her not to smoke inside while you are there but understand that she might not agree to this.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I would have DH talk to her since its his mother. I think that if you do it she might take offense to it

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

When I go over to my mom's house, my dad goes out to smoke. He won't smoke around Hayley.

Have DH talk to her and if she won't change for the few days you are there I would not stay there.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I can't even believe she would smoke around your liitle girl to begin with!!!
What is she thinking!!!

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

HAve you DH ask her to go outside and smoke it's nice out anyway!!

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I made it clear to my parents that I want my parents to go outside to smoke when I am their and they do, even my dad because he is a heavy smoker. I don't allow smoking in my house and people respect it. Maybe if you feel uncomfortable telling her have your DH tell her. It wont kill her to go outside for three days.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?

I probably would have stayed somewhere else also. It's one thing if it's just a few hours for a visit but for an overnight trip it would bother me. She should KNOW this -- but if she wouldn't stop I would probably go and find someplace else to stay.

Re: Can anyone offer advice on how to handle MIL smoking in her house?