Having the TTC talk with DH

I figured I'd post here since all of you guys are TTC and have probably had the talk with your DH. I'm so frustrated with my DH. Everytime I try to have a conversation about when we're going to TTC he basically avoids the subject. I'm not pushing that we need to do it now, just trying to get his thoughts on it. It's impossible! I'm so upset!

What's the issue?

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

How old are both of you? The TTC talk is very important and it is worrisome that he is avoiding it.. You deserve to know where he stands about when you will start having children.

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

I was ready to TTC a long time before DH was. We had the discussion and we went to the OB/GYN together to ask all of the necessary questions. At that point we decided when and how we would start. It is important to be on the same page and respect each other's thoughts on it. I am going to guess that you spoke about children before you were married. If he is not willing to talk about it now, I would think that it means he is not ready just yet. It was like torture to me waiting for when DH said he would be but now that I know he is, I wont ever second guess. It was very similar to the saying "I love you" thing for us. I said it first. He didnt say it back immediately but when he did, I knew he meant it. Give him time.

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

Well my DH is just a jokester about it. His response is always "next year"...he has been saying this for 2 years already!

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

He actually had it with me, since he is waaaaay ready and I was sort of not 100% sure. He approached me and said that he knew I was on the fence about having kids, but it is something he really saw happening in his life & the more there are people around us having children the more he realizes that he feels his life would be missing something if he never had children. I know he really wants them, and I do to. But I am not sure if I will be able and we have just overcome a very tight situation, and I just got a new job. But we have set up a new calendar of when we will begin trying again & it was really good to talk to him about it.

Good luck.

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

Has your Dh ever talked about wanting to have kids? Also, how many kids are you interested in having? I am 29 & my husband is 31 and he was the one pushing me into starting to have children. I would ask your Dh when is will be ready to begin talking about children. I would also remind him you never know how long it will take once you start trying to conceive. I don't think a lot of men realize that. They think as soon as you are ready it will happen.

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

I agree with the above post - most men think it's instaneous - one shot deal. They don't realize it's normal for it to take a few months, sometimes a lot longer, and can't imagine it being an issue to get pregnant the minute you decide to TTC.
Obviously it's important for you both to be on the same page about it, so I would def. have a little heart-to-heart with him and see where he stands.
Maybe he has some fears or concerns that you can help him work through.

Message edited 7/20/2006 11:08:03 PM.

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

I don't know what it is. I know that he does want to have children but when I ask him when we might start trying he says "well I want you to be settled in your job" or "when you make friends". (We moved out of NY about 8 months ago). I feel like they are excuses - especially the friend thing. When we talked about it again last night he kept pushing the question back on me. I finally got sometime in 2007! Then I get we could start in January and still have a kid in 2007. Obviously he's not ready, I mean if we have to argue when we're talking about this it's not good.

Re: Having the TTC talk with DH

I am sorry you are going through this. Forward me if you want to talk.