Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

do we agree or disagree on this?

I used to disagree. However, lately I am turning over a new leaf I am not talking about people who treat you great - I am talking about people that may take advantage of you and maybe not really treat you so nice but you have no choice but to put up with them because they are family or like family. I recently decided after I recently got hurt again by someone close to me in my family because of their plain out RUDENESS that it's time I stop bending over backwards for this person and start treating them the way they treat me. And now I am carrying this over to everyone in my life. It's very out of character for me but so far it feels good not to be so nice to people who are not always so nice to me

Thanks for listening....please share your thoughts

p.s-sorry i can't into too much detail. the person i am talking about often lurks around these posts.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

Yes, I agree. I had a similar situation and once I started giving that person a taste of their own medicine, they realized how irrational and rude they were being.

Now, everything is fine and we get along great

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

I try to be the best person I can be w/ those I love and have relationships with. But I also think that there is a point where you have to draw the line, if the other person is taking advantage or being hurtful. I have let my MIL be whatever she wants w/ me and I just ignore it or say nothing. But I have started to act indifferent towards her. maybe she gets the hint!

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

There are a few people in my family like this... however I have not yet been able to treat them the way they treat me sometimes. I think you are probably doing what's best for you because it's certainly no fun being taken advantage of.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

I am pretty lucky- I have no one I am obligated to that doesn't treat me well (relatives, family, etc...). The friends who didn't treat me well I got rid of a long time ago. I just didn't have the time or patience.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

I think it definitely depends on the situation. If you've constantly been burned so much by someone, then it definitely makes sense to react the way you should/will. However, if it's something that rarely happens, it's possible that you're overreacting.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

I learned that lesson a while ago also - it mostly involved my uncle. He's one of those guys that never does the right thing right away. For years, out of respect to my father I kept in touch with him, invited him places, etc. And it took me years to realize that he never offered the same courtesy to me out of respect to his brother.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

i am very easy going and for the most part optomistic person. i try to avoid controversy and negative people but there is ALAWAYS that one person that for whatever reason feels the need to be overly pushy and critcize others. like you, i used to just deal w/ it and go w/ the flow. i got to the point where i was annoyed w/ myself for letting this person treat me and others this way. i confronted this person and asked why they constantly judge others and come across so negative and harsh. i didn't receive much of a response but now they don't contact me as much as they used to. there is no easy answer and unfortunately it is hard to change people like this. i attribute this behavior to low self esteem and poor self image. i know it isn't an excuse to act this way but it is my only explanation.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

I had a similar situation. My FSIL was a total *** to me. I went out of my way all the time to try and be her friend. Finally it hurt so bad, I started treating her like she treated me and I'll tell you this...SHE DID NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT. It really upset her and made her see how wrong she was. Now, the shoe is on the other foot, she is going out of the way for me, and I'm just eating it up for now.

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

Thanks everyone for sharing!! The situation I am talking about has been happening on and off for many years now and I just about had enough of it. I also am taking a stand in another situation in my life...this is the new and improved me! I'm not going to let anyone push me around anymore!!!

Re: Treating people the way they treat (or have treated) you....(kind of long...sorry)

Posted by Rapunzel

Thanks everyone for sharing!! The situation I am talking about has been happening on and off for many years now and I just about had enough of it. I also am taking a stand in another situation in my life...this is the new and improved me! I'm not going to let anyone push me around anymore!!!