I hate when people tell me...

I am spoiling Ava by holding her so much She's not even a month old. How in hell do you spoil a baby that cannot do anything for herself? It really annoys me

Re: I hate when people tell me...

Message edited 2/8/2007 12:38:53 PM.

Re: I hate when people tell me...

IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE! Unsolicited advice is sooo annoying.
You CANNOT spoil a newborn and if anything giving them a sense of safeness, love and security will make them stronger and more independent children.

Re: I hate when people tell me...

I agree with Jen, I nursed DS for the month and he would eat every hour to hour and half except at night. If I wasnt feeding him he would nap on me. Once i switched to formula and at around 8 weeks I started to put in the bouncey seat again for a few minutes a day. Now at 3 months their are times were he rather be in that seat instead of my arms. A baby needs their mother at such a young age.

Re: I hate when people tell me...

Oh boy... Don't you love comments like that?

You spoil that little cutie all you want and ignore all the comments.

Message edited 7/9/2006 8:12:23 PM.

Re: I hate when people tell me...

I disagree with everybody- I am sorry. They say you can't spoil a baby under 3 months and I think that is crap. You totally can.

That being said, I see your dd has reflux and my dd does too. I held her evey minute for 4 months and spoiled her like crazy, and still do, and if I could go back in time I wouldn't change a minute of it.

I love my little spoiled girl! So enjoy it, one day they won't want to be held anymore

Re: I hate when people tell me...

Re: I hate when people tell me...

You are not spoiling her! Babies need LOVE and that is the best thing you can do! I heard that babies that are held a lot during the first three months actually are more secure and have a better temperament - so tell that to all those people who feel the need to jam their opinions down your throat!

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I hear the same cr@p from my MIL...I just go Uh Huh...while holding her and ignoring the "advice"

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Here's a clip from Dr. Sears' website. Him and his wife have written a lot of books on parenting.

Yet, telling the difference between needs and wants is not a problem that parents have to wrestle with during their early months of parenting. In the beginning, wants and needs are the same. During the first several months of life, a baby's wants are a baby's needs. A consistent "yes" response teaches babies trust, which will make them more accepting of "no" later on, when they start wanting things they should not have. If you learn to know your baby by responding readily to his needs in the early months, you'll have a good sense of when it's appropriate to say no later on.
New parents often ask, "Won't holding our baby a lot, responding to cries, nursing our baby on cue, and even sleeping with our baby spoil her?" Or they ask if this kind of parenting will create an overly dependent, manipulative child? Our answer is an emphatic no. In fact, both experience and research have shown the opposite. Attachment fosters eventual interdependence. A child whose needs are met predictably and dependably does not have to whine and cry and worry about getting his parents to do what he needs.
The spoiling theory seems scientific. At least it seemed logical to the childcare "experts" who popularized this idea, beginning in the early part of the 20th century. They thought that if you rewarded crying by picking the baby up, he would cry more, so that he would get picked up more. It turns out that human behavior is a little more complicated than this. It is true that if you carry a newborn baby in your arms much of the time, the baby will protest when put down in the crib. This baby has learned how to feel right, and she lets you know when she needs help getting that feeling back. However, in the long run, this rightness within her will make her less likely to cry for attention. She gets used to feeling right most of the time, and her parent's responsiveness shows her how to recognize her own needs. Spoiling happens when a child is put on the shelf, left alone, forgotten about--the way that food spoils. There was no scientific basis for this spoiling theory, just unwarranted fears and opinions. We would like to put the spoiling theory on the shelf – to spoil forever.


We have practiced this from my daughter from day one and I have to say for the most part she really isn't a crier unless she needs something.

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Thanks for posting that!!

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as a mom of 4 i can honestly say i spoil each and every one of them and who cares what people say!! life is so hard when you're an adult why can't kids be kids and enjoy their childhood. my kids are not brats and they know their limits but imo and many others holding an infant does not constitute spoiling just creating an environment that feels secure!! Enjoy holding that baby it goes by soooo fast!!

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I was worried about spoiling dd when she was younger by holding her too much but that was the only way she'd be happy. So I held her most of the day. She also had reflux and colic.
Now she is 6 months old and she loves playing on the floor, she sleeps fine in her crib, and I am working full-time so the times I do get to hold her are pretty limited so I miss those earlier times----not the colic, but the holding!
Dont worry what others say, you know you are doing the right thing! Enjoy it.

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I also don't believe you can *spoil* them that early. The only thing I made sure of is if she fell asleep in my arms - I would usually put her down. I didn't want her to develop the habit of only being able to sleep when she was held.