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luvsun27
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Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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To have a shower or not....Long
DH wants me to have a shower....I don't really think I want one. Both my SIL's are already wanting to get involved.
My sister just got engaged this weekend (my twin) and she is planning a wedding for this summer....early August. I will be about 29 weeks then.
DH wants to have the shower the end of June...but I said it would be way too early, I will only be 24 weeks. July is filled with family birthdays of the little ones. Then, since my sister is getting married in August, we are down to the end of August or middle of September (more kiddie birthdays beginning of September). I don't think we can wait until the middle of September...I am due Oct. 20, but the doctor thinks I will go early.
Oh...also, I live in NJ. I refuse to travel to LI for my shower, so I'm not sure if my aunt/cousins will come...they think traveling to NJ is like another planet, yet I travel there all the time for birthdays of their little ones (see all the birthdays in July and September).
Anyway...I told DH to just forget about the shower, and if people want to buy us something they will, and if they don't, they don't. I think he's upset because he really wants me to have something special being that we worked so hard to get PG.
If you read all of this...thank you. Any advice? Thanks.
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Posted 3/20/06 3:34 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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DML
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 567 total posts
Name:
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I would think end of August would be fine.... I say if they want to throw you one, let them do it. It has been a long time coming for you, and you deserve a special day. Even if all of your family doesn't come, it will be nice - and aren't you expecting twins? Double the reason to be showered with love!
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:38 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I will be really upset if I don't have a shower. Not because of the gifts but because of all the showers I have gone to and I love going because the person of honor is always so happy.
Make sure you don't have one because you don't want to, not because you think others would be inconvenienced.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:38 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by DML
I would think end of August would be fine.... I say if they want to throw you one, let them do it. It has been a long time coming for you, and you deserve a special day. Even if all of your family doesn't come, it will be nice - and aren't you expecting twins? Double the reason to be showered with love!
I agree.......
Message edited 3/20/2006 3:39:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:39 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I really don't want a shower, but everyone is telling me to have one. I agree that if people want to get you something, they will whether or not you have a shower.
If you really dont' want one, then maybe you can just have a brunch or something with your mom, sister, aunts, etc. And, yes, they should come to NJ for that and I bet they would.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:39 PM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I dont think the middle of September would be to early. Even if you went the first week in Ocotber you have 2 weeks to get stuff together. If you are making time to attend everyone else's gatherings, then they should make time for you. I say go for it. It would be better to have some stuff even if its not all put away, then to have to do it all on your own. Its a nice time to make you feel special too.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:40 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
If you really don't want one, don't have one. You are right, if people want to get you a gift, they will. I didn't want one, but my grandmother had missed my bridal shower and was really excited to go to my baby shower so I relented.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:41 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I would have a shower, but maybe make it a small get together at your house. Like a tea party or something. For my sister she did not have many friends and small family so we had a little bridal shower at her house for about 10-15 people. She got some nice stuff and it was very inexpensive and done nicely. My mom did favors and everyone really enjoyed themselves.
Aim for the beginning of August maybe? You could even do a BBQ or something.
Another option would be to do a couple shower including you and DH. Invite guys and girls and have a BBQ. The day will be really special.
Good luck.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:41 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
That's the thing...I know I will be diappointed if DH and SIL's go through all the trouble...and there are only like 12 people there. For my bridal shower, I think there were only 20 people who came...and I went to LI to have my shower (I stilled lived in NJ, but I was trying to make it easy for everyone else).
I have been to so many baby showers for everyone else...but I'm not sure they will come to mine 
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:41 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by luvsun27
That's the thing...I know I will be diappointed if DH and SIL's go through all the trouble...and there are only like 12 people there. For my bridal shower, I think there were only 20 people who came...and I went to LI to have my shower (I stilled lived in NJ, but I was trying to make it easy for everyone else).
I have been to so many baby showers for everyone else...but I'm not sure they will come to mine
I absolutely LOVE baby showers, I'll come 
In all seriousness, then maybe you can keep it small with just the people that you know will be there.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:44 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by pmpkn087
I absolutely LOVE baby showers, I'll come
In all seriousness, then maybe you can keep it small with just the people that you know will be there.
Thanks...that made me smile. I told DH last night to talk to my mom and SIL and whatever they decide I will do.
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:46 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by luvsun27
That's the thing...I know I will be diappointed if DH and SIL's go through all the trouble...and there are only like 12 people there. For my bridal shower, I think there were only 20 people who came...and I went to LI to have my shower (I stilled lived in NJ, but I was trying to make it easy for everyone else).
I have been to so many baby showers for everyone else...but I'm not sure they will come to mine
I'll come to the shower too!!
I know exactly how you feel. My bridal shower was very small. As you know, I live in NJ and all the family and friends are out of state.
I was sick and tired of going to LI for every little thing so I put my foot down (my one bridezilla moment) and told my family that I wanted my shower in my home town.
It was so disappointing to me to see how many of my "friends" didn't come because it was "All the way in Jersey." Like the 10,000 times I've driven out to LI have been in some kind of time travel for me and not an inconveniece at all. It really did show me who my friends were.
Even with that though, it was a great shower and I had a great time and none of my bridal party felt annoyed that it would up being small. It was easier to manage and I still got gifts from those who didn't come and I had a lot of fun.
Like Morgan said, make sure that if you DON'T have a shower it's because you don't want one, not that you are worried about everyone else. This is your time to be a little selfish and get pampered.
 
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| Posted 3/20/06 3:56 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by Diane
Posted by DML
I would think end of August would be fine.... I say if they want to throw you one, let them do it. It has been a long time coming for you, and you deserve a special day. Even if all of your family doesn't come, it will be nice - and aren't you expecting twins? Double the reason to be showered with love!
I agree.......
I agree 10000% too!! You deserve a shower and people will want to give you one.
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| Posted 3/20/06 4:09 PM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
are you planning on having anything religious?
i'm not having a shower because 1. i'm not into them, and 2. we plan on having a christening where we'll share the celebration...
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| Posted 3/20/06 4:30 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I am not having a shower. I'm Jewish and its our tradition not to celebrate the baby before it is born. However, once the baby is born with have a bris (for a boy) or a naming (for a girl).
I say if you don't want one, don't have one. Just from reading these boards, and from what I remember from my bridal shower, it ends up being a big source of stress and concern for the mom to be. If it is something that will stress you out- and you don't want to do it, then its just not worth it, IMO.
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| Posted 3/20/06 4:34 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by luvsun27
That's the thing...I know I will be diappointed if DH and SIL's go through all the trouble...and there are only like 12 people there. For my bridal shower, I think there were only 20 people who came...and I went to LI to have my shower (I stilled lived in NJ, but I was trying to make it easy for everyone else).
I have been to so many baby showers for everyone else...but I'm not sure they will come to mine
I love baby showers...I'll come...plus I love shopping for twins!
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| Posted 3/20/06 4:45 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by Diane
Posted by DML
I would think end of August would be fine.... I say if they want to throw you one, let them do it. It has been a long time coming for you, and you deserve a special day. Even if all of your family doesn't come, it will be nice - and aren't you expecting twins? Double the reason to be showered with love!
I agree.......
I agree as well. I also live far from LI. I just moved upstate a few months ago. Although, I am only an hour and fifteen minutes away from Nassau county, some people in my family did not come because "they don't drive that far". Meanwhile they will drive to Tanger outlet mall an hour and a half away! They think if they have to drive over a bridge it is like driving to another planet. 
You know what? I had a great shower without some of my crazy family( it was better without them there, actually). Most of my friends and family came and it was awesome. DH's aunt said that everyone who was there was meant to be there and they were the ones that mattered. She was so right. 
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| Posted 3/20/06 5:02 PM |
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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
I would definitely have the shower, even if its just a small one with the immediate family.
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| Posted 3/20/06 6:07 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Posted by DML
I would think end of August would be fine.... I say if they want to throw you one, let them do it. It has been a long time coming for you, and you deserve a special day. Even if all of your family doesn't come, it will be nice - and aren't you expecting twins? Double the reason to be showered with love!
I agree with this. I also agree with your DH that you deserve a special day. I too had the same problem with people not coming to my bridal and baby showers even though I attended theirs and I too was hurt over it (and I DO live on LI). But DH and I just decided to focus on the positive and to be thankful for the people who did want to come and share in our happy day with us.
I think you should let your family throw you the shower (in NJ) and forget about everything else and just enjoy it!!
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| Posted 3/21/06 8:56 AM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: To have a shower or not....Long
Thanks everyone. I told DH to talk to my mother and get a concensus on what she thinks. So...now, it's up to them and I'm staying out of it. Thanks for all your advice.
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| Posted 3/21/06 9:50 AM |
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