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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22134 total posts
Name:
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Holding babies question
Would you find it weird if a new mom didn't want you to hold her baby because you are not a parent or because the baby only likes to be held by the mom? Just wondering. And do you think it is important that babies get held by different people? I ask because last week I met this 8 month old who went to every teacher in the room and the mom was great with it. But then yesterday, I met a mom who was apprehensive about anyone holding the baby except for her and the grandmothers.
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Posted 6/20/05 6:11 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Holding babies question
NO! I never really like holding babies so i would be happy
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| Posted 6/20/05 6:30 AM |
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Kierasmom
I love my kids
Member since 5/05 2885 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Holding babies question
I always try to let different people hold Kiera. I think it's very important for her to get use to different people holding her. It makes it easier for us to leave her with people.
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| Posted 6/20/05 7:14 AM |
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Re: Holding babies question
Posted by Kierasmom
I always try to let different people hold Kiera. I think it's very important for her to get use to different people holding her. It makes it easier for us to leave her with people.
I totally agree. How old was the baby who's mom wouldn't let you hold it? The only way I could understand is maybe if it were a couple weeks old
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| Posted 6/20/05 7:19 AM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: Holding babies question
Posted by Kierasmom
I always try to let different people hold Kiera. I think it's very important for her to get use to different people holding her. It makes it easier for us to leave her with people.
i am not a mom, but I agree with this and would do this when I have a baby.
Message edited 6/20/2005 8:52:15 AM.
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| Posted 6/20/05 8:52 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Holding babies question
i don't hold babies, so i am totally fine
i'm saving my "holding" skills for my own
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| Posted 6/20/05 9:02 AM |
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pschica
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/05 424 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Holding babies question
all of my friends and family allow us to hold their babies, i don't yet have obe of my own but enjoy holding theirs.....i think it is important for the baby to be held by different people but only as long as those people want to hold the baby, too. as for this woman, perhaps there is more to the sotry?? maybe the baby is haviing bad sep. anxiety right now and the poor woman wanted to prevent a meltdown or something??? (always trying to give people the beneift of the doubt, but sorry you didn't get to hold the bunbdle of joy!)
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| Posted 6/20/05 9:09 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holding babies question
Posted by Redhead
NO! I never really like holding babies so i would be happy
Same here.
Although I also agree that babies should get used to being held by other people, I wouldn't think it weird for a new mom to be apprehensive about it.
I don't think I'll have a problem with others holding my baby.
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| Posted 6/20/05 9:16 AM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holding babies question
I never offer my child to people, they have to ask.
I never held a newborn (yes, I babysat but never for a baby under 3 months and I'm the youngest of my family as was 26 when I had him) until I held my son so I guess I never felt the need to have people hold my baby when I see them.
Maybe the baby is shy in public. I have heard enough stories about how my brother was super trusting as a baby and would basically jump into people hands.. (he still is super trusting) and how if I was around strangers I wouldn't want to leave my Mom, Dads or Grandparents hands and would freak out if I did. My mom said I was a PITA because of it because no one understood (maybe its the same thing with this women)
I got better as I got older naturally.
Also do you smoke? I am aprehensive about smokers holding my baby unless I see that they have washed their hands before they ask. The smokers I'm talking about are chain smokers on the other family's side who just ooze smoke and I know it bothers me so the last thing I want are their smelly hands near the babies mouth.
Message edited 6/20/2005 9:29:51 AM.
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| Posted 6/20/05 9:27 AM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Holding babies question
I think a baby is taught everything from day 1. So if a parent smothers their child, and doesn't let anyone hold him/her, then the baby becomes 'shy' & an 'un-people kid'. If the parents pass him/her around, then the kid becomes more trusting to others.
Personally, I wouldn't let perfect strangers hold my babies, but I would offer my family & friends for a piece of the baby-holding (under my watchful eye, of course), at whatever age.
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| Posted 6/20/05 10:53 AM |
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bluegrl24NY
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 297 total posts
Name:
Helena
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Re: Holding babies question
Posted by Lichi
I think a baby is taught everything from day 1. So if a parent smothers their child, and doesn't let anyone hold him/her, then the baby becomes 'shy' & an 'un-people kid'. If the parents pass him/her around, then the kid becomes more trusting to others.
Personally, I wouldn't let perfect strangers hold my babies, but I would offer my family & friends for a piece of the baby-holding (under my watchful eye, of course), at whatever age.
I completely agree with Lichi. Every time I've ever held a baby, it was only after being offered by a friend or relative. It's just a touchy thing with some people and not something that should just be assumed either way. ONLY friends and relatives though, I can't believe the nerve of some people, complete strangers asking to hold other people's babies!!  With friends and family, I think it's just another way of socializing your baby to the world around them. Babies are learning something new every second, and if they're noticing that only Mom is allowed to hold her, then I also think that will affect the baby's social skills in the long run.
As long as the other person is a trusted and willing participant, then I don't see anything wrong with it. I know I will let ALL of my friends and family hold my baby when that time comes 
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| Posted 6/20/05 12:35 PM |
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Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
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Re: Holding babies question
New moms are nervous....and they spent their whole pregnancy just waiting to hold their babies. After a few weeks...of no sleep she will gladly hand her baby over.
While James was in the hospital my FH and I agreed that only him and I would hold him...at least until he was off the VENT and CPAP....once he went on Nasal Canals we let my parents and FMIL, my sister and her husband hold him and my sister in law....but no one else.
I was nervous at 1st because my son came home hooked up to oxygen...plus he was really small....and until he was off the oxygen I really did let too many people handle him....
Once I relaxed a bit...I let mostly everyone hold him...as long at they were clean...and didnt smell like smoke...of course I didnt hand him over to strangers though.
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| Posted 6/20/05 1:01 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Holding babies question
Posted by Kierasmom
I always try to let different people hold Kiera. I think it's very important for her to get use to different people holding her. It makes it easier for us to leave her with people.
I agree. I can't stand when kids get all whiny and hide behind their parents legs, etc. Two of my sister in laws did that and the kids are still weird socially and they're far beyond the baby stage. I try to pass Amber off to whoever wants to hold her (within reason of course) and I feel that she's more independant for it. Of course it's important to make them aware of trusting strangers, etc. but what is the harm if someone wants to hold her, etc. and I'm there? Some people just love babies or want that connection to a child. I get that because I'm the same way and always felt "cheated" when I couldn't hold my own nieces because of the mother's hangups.
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| Posted 6/20/05 1:30 PM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Holding babies question
In our family the new baby gets passed around to everyone, I think its good to get a baby used to different people holding it and I plan to do the same when we have a baby.
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| Posted 6/20/05 1:38 PM |
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Sweetpea130000
My Love!
Member since 5/05 2375 total posts
Name:
Shandra
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Re: Holding babies question
I am not a mom yet, but I don't think I would have a problem with others holding my baby. I have been around kids since I was young and have held all of their children so I really don't think I would have a problem letting them hold mine.
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| Posted 6/20/05 1:40 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holding babies question
What time of year was it? I didn't like a lot of people holding Sarah when she first came home because it was cold and flu season and if a baby 8 weeks or younger gets a fever they go right back in the hospital. In fact, at Sarah's one week checkup, there was a 1 month old that was being taken from the dr's office in an ambulance to the hospital due to fever. It was so sad.
Also, she was the first baby in the family in a LONG time so a lot of our family members were a little uncomfortable holding her, which made me more nervous about giving her over. Now I'll hand her over to my family and friends, but if I notice that they are not comfortable holding her, I tend not to offer again and wait for them to ask.
Message edited 6/20/2005 1:55:29 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/05 1:52 PM |
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stepherg
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/05 444 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Holding babies question
Honestly for me it depends on who wants to hold the baby, how old the baby is and whether they are smokers or not. I wouldn't hand my child to a stranger, or anyone that may be sick or just finished a cigarette. JMHO.
Based on this story and the baby being 8 months old...I'd let people hold them EXCEPT strangers...
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| Posted 6/20/05 2:54 PM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holding babies question
As a new mom I have to admit I am much more over protective then I thought I would be. Of course I let family, close friends and others that I am comfortable with hold her as I watch on. However she seems to dislike certain members of my IL family and cries whenever they hold her, this makes it so difficult for me, because I always have to calm her down, and they are clueless to her uneasiness with them and try to take her back once she is happy, only to cause her to cry again. This cycle drives me crazy. I should add she LOVES almost everyone else, and I work FT so it is not that she is only attached to me. Because of this I do try to make a decision about passing her around based on her cues and mood, and Im sure I have held her back from people to prevent the crying cycle, and it could possibly be considered as odd.
As much as I want her to be comfortable with others, I see no need to subject her to crying and being uncomfortable just to make someone else happy to hold her. She does a good job of letting me know when she is comfortable to be passed around and when she is not......
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| Posted 6/20/05 3:02 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Holding babies question
Posted by boosh1002
In our family the new baby gets passed around to everyone, I think its good to get a baby used to different people holding it and I plan to do the same when we have a baby.
except for uncle sal 
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| Posted 6/20/05 3:09 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22134 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holding babies question
Message edited 6/20/2005 7:48:12 PM.
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| Posted 6/20/05 5:01 PM |
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