Morbid but neccesary question

How do you go about specifying what happens to your child if something happens to you and dh?
Besides a will, is there a legal form you can have ready?

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

I think a simple will would do it. We haven't done it yet....

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Message edited 2/8/2007 11:20:20 AM.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

I think that if you have property and any significant assets, its worth doing the will with a lawyer. If you have a large insurance policy, you may also need to set up a "family trust" so that the money you want your daughter to have doesn't get taxed.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

In my family we always said that the godparents would take care of the children if something happened -- I don't know if my parents ever put it in writing when we were younger but I know it is something that we have to do for Emily. My question is that we chose one person from my husband's family and oneperson from mine -- but I'd really want my sister and her husband to have guardianship if it came down to it -- his brother is single, still lives with his dad, and I just think my sister is in a better situation to raise a child.

So it's a serious thing DH and I need to discuss and decide on -- then make sure it's in writing of some sort.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

We got our wills done and it was specified in there who the guardian is. It wasn't that expensive, and it covers future children as well.

I think there are do it yourself will kits out there that you just need to have noterized.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

My dh and I don't own our house, but we did get a will done through our lawyer. I think it is very important when you have a child to set up who will be taking care of him or her if god forbid something were to happen. We have a few options (backups) in case something were to happen to the current people we chose. We also filled out health care proxies at the same time. We are only in our late twenties, but imo isn't doesn't matter how old you are. You should take care of it and hopefully you will never need it.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Message edited 3/23/2006 11:06:23 PM.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Me and DH are my sisters children guardians should something happen to them both. She made up a short will saying there entire value of their assets shall go to us for use for the children and college expenses. They also made small provisions in the will for some of there jewelry to be held for their children until they are age 18 I believe. The whole process is pretty simple.

I believe they also did a health care proxy at that time too.

Me and DH will be doing the same shortly after the babies are here.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Scott and I got Will software from Costco. Our friends also used it. It is very simple and straightfoward.
You need guardianship papers as well as an executor of your Will- usually they are different people. You should discuss your wishes for guardianship and backup guardianship (in case anything happens to choice #1). You can also add things like "Please make sure the children visit with both sets of grandparents XX per year" or "Please allow my SIL to take Joey overnight once a month"..or anything like that you may want.
Even without assets, a Will is very important. You have bills, bank accounts, cars- someone should be appointed to close out your remaining financial responsiblites, last tax filings etc... And you should spell out if you have certain wishes for your life insurance. FOr instance, education is very important to Scott & I. We don't want Molly struggling through College or dropping out because there is no money left because someone let her have a new BMW at 17. So we are specifing a bit of how we want the money used.

Godparents are NOT legal guardians in the eyes of the State. That is a religious thing only. It would mean nothing in a court of law. Also, I would not "split" up the guardianship with one from each family. And what if you have children with different Godparents? Now the siblings are living in different homes too?JMO, but that is not a stable homelife for my child. How would that work, like a divorced, joint-custody argeement?

Message edited 3/24/2006 9:43:29 AM.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

We can not agree on anyone that we would want to raise the boys. The one person we would like live in NC, and we don't think that would be fair to our paretns, and less fair to my parents since it is DH's brother. I vetoed his sister, he vetoed my brother, which we both agree on, but I feel his parents are too old, and he thinks if I can veto his parents then we should veto mine. We really need to come to a decision on this.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

I don't know the NYS Law but since we are technically Florida Residents if something was to happen to us Jack and we didn't have guardianship drawn up (which we do) then it would go to the courts and only a blood relative or another Florida Resident could take over guardianship and since we know there could be a mini war then that would leave our son/children in foster care until it was decided which I heard in some cases can take a long time.

We know our decision will majorily upset one set of Grandparents but until Jack's Godmother (SIL) or GodFather (my bro) are married and secure in their own life Jack goes to one of our parents. We figure we'll be dead so they can't complain to us about it and since it is in our will we will hopefully avoid the war.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

DH did our (he is an attorney) wills before DD arrived. It is very important to have since you never know what might happen.

Most lawyers don't charge that much for them and IMO it is worth it. They can set it up for future children too so you don't need to redo it.

I told DH about this thread, and he told me that in New York, a will is invalid if it does not have two disinterested witnesses, who should fill out what are called 'self-proving affidavits' that need to be notarized.

If a will is improperly drafted or doesn't comply with all of NY's rules, the courts won't honor it.

If you die without a will, the state has a system to decide who gets what - including custody of your kids if your spouse dies before you.

DH told me that wills can have trusts built in to them for no extra charge that make sure your kids' money is managed for them until they hit a certain age that you decide.

Finally, he told me anyone who has kids is nuts if they don't get a will done - and he said that while it would be great if everyone on the board uses him :), even if you don't, you should have a qualified attorney do it for you.

Message edited 3/24/2006 6:47:56 PM.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Message edited 2/8/2007 11:20:51 AM.

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

DH charges $750 for 2 will, including trust provisionsl 2 health care proxies, 2 living wills and 2 durable power of attorneys.

For just a will it is $500. He said those are pretty much the going rate.