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spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

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nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

We're talking about telling children that they were adopted/have a surrogate/came from a sperm donor/etc... And many people said they would tell the child when they're old enough to understand. I'm just wondering when you think they right time would be? At what age?
I personally think children should know these things from the very begining because I think it would be too easy to not tell them the truth the longer you wait. But maybe that's just me.

Posted 8/30/06 11:55 AM
 
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥

Member since 5/06

28918 total posts

Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

I raised my step son since he was 8 months old. His mother did not want to be in his life.I told himI was his step mom when he was 6 years old.That was the age I thought he would understand it better and he did.He always called me Mom though.

Message edited 8/30/2006 11:59:11 AM.

Posted 8/30/06 11:57 AM
 

lorich
.

Member since 6/05

9987 total posts

Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

I can't honestly answer something like this until I'm in that situation.

I did find out my Mom was adopted and that my Grammie wasn't her biological Mother until I was 13ish... I remember crying for hours on end, but then I realized...does it really matter. She means the world to me and loves me as though I'm her flesh & blood...heck...in our eyes we are.

Posted 8/30/06 11:57 AM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

I think when they are old enough to ask questions, they are old enough to be told things in a general way. I think some of the nitty gritty details of the situation can wait until they are teenagers.

Posted 8/30/06 11:57 AM
 

LisaW
Time for me to FLY!

Member since 5/05

13199 total posts

Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

I think it depends on the child...

Posted 8/30/06 11:58 AM
 

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

Name:

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

From the begining is best, IMO. I have seen situations like that explode in my family, b/c the kids found out. Chat Icon

That being said, whatever the parents decide should be respected. I couldn't believe that some of my relatives went over the parents heads and told the kids about the adoptions and stuff. Chat Icon

Message edited 8/30/2006 12:00:00 PM.

Posted 8/30/06 11:59 AM
 

stayandjohn
Our life is complete

Member since 5/05

5909 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

My aunt adopted 2 boys and told them at a very early age maybe 2 or 3

Posted 8/30/06 12:14 PM
 

eroxgirl
My Loves

Member since 5/05

15697 total posts

Name:
Rebecca

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

I think it's best to tell them before they can even fully comprehend what it means. This way there are no surprises, they don't feel lied to. I know someone who was adopted and she said she's known her whole life and that she is very happy for always knowing.

Posted 8/30/06 12:18 PM
 

CowgirlChick97
Nike. Just do it.

Member since 5/05

3303 total posts

Name:
Brianna

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

my friend found out she was adoptd when she was 17-it messed her up badddddddddddddddddddddddd

Posted 8/30/06 12:21 PM
 

lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings

Member since 3/06

6551 total posts

Name:
L

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

My brother is adopted. He and all of us (6) knew from the beginning. Besides when you bring a child into an already established family, the siblings will tell. It was never a big deal to any of us. That way how much my brother knew was always his choice.

Posted 8/30/06 12:38 PM
 

Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A

Member since 7/05

32475 total posts

Name:
Susan

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

My brother was adopted. He is 5 years older than me.

He was told when my mom was pregnant with me because he was asking questions.

After that, the school called my mom to ask why Freddie was painting all in black? I think it totally screwed him up.

He is screwed up now as a 44 year old. I think he was pre-disposed to things because his biological mom was not right.

I don't know if the age matters or when you think it's the right time. I think the younger the better.

Posted 8/30/06 12:47 PM
 

MsMBV
:P

Member since 5/05

28602 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

I dunno about this particular situation, but both of my adopted cousins have had the same experience where their families spoke about them being adopted (in a very positive & loving way) since they were brought home. It made it a natural thing to discuss & never had a negative connotation.

I dated a guy who was adopted & his parents never told him...he found out when he was looking for his birth certificate to get his driver's permit when he was 16. He has been really screwed up ever since. Not because he found out so late, but because his adopted parents hid it from him, thereby making him feel it was something they were ashamed ofChat Icon

Posted 8/30/06 12:58 PM
 

Laura1976

Member since 5/05

5754 total posts

Name:
Laura

Re: spinoff- when would a child be old "enough" to find out the truth

my parents told me i was adopted pretty young, I think before kindergarten. I don't even remember being told. But i thought it made me very special and my parents would have a party each year on the date that they brought me home. i thought it was great, i got presents.

Posted 8/30/06 12:59 PM
 
 

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