5 weeks in and all I do is worry...

These horomones are kicking my butt. Baby blues are a real thing. I don't think I have PPD but sometimes all I do is worry. How will my baby know me if I have to work? How will my house get clean? What if something bad happens to him? Why do I only write these emails after nights I don't sleep! :)

Ugh....from now on any warning any parent gives me about the worries I will have as a parent I will be sure to believe. Maybe even the ones from my MIL!

Re: 5 weeks in and all I do is worry...

Cailen is in daycare up to 9 huors a day, since he was 2 mts old... he was sooo happy to see me when i picked him up - even the 1st day - he knows his mommy!

Now, at 6 mts, when I pick him up, he is so happy to see me he cries for me to pick him up - he doesnt do that for anyone else... trust me, they always know who mommy is!!!

How will your house get clean? Well, 1st what you have to do is re-define clean ASAP. Clean becomes what I call the "not bad for having a baby" job. I would like people to walk in and say, "Not bad for having a baby." My house will never, ever EVER be immaculate. Ever. But Cailen is happy, and thats what matters!

DH has 2 daughters from the 1st marriage. when Cailen was born, I was afraid to tell him how scared I was of something happening to him because I thought DH would think I was silly. But one night I broke down, crying and saying I'm worried somethig can happen to Cailen, to DH, and what if I diiiiieeeeeee..... waaaahhhhhh... i swear, I lost it....

DH told me what I was feeling was totally normal. "You will never, ever spend a day without worrying ever again..." And this is true. He is on my mind 24/7 - that is the most draining part of being a mom, I think!!!