Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

I went into pregnancy already having decided that when the time came I wanted to make every effort to try to have an unmedicated birth.

I left my OB before I even started TTC and switched over to the Midwives at Stony Brook and from pre-conception all the way through postnatal care have been so exceptionally pleased with them.

Around 37 weeks I started really watching for pre-labor signs. I was hoping to make it at least to my due date and was prepared to go as close to 42 weeks as possible without hitting exactly 42 because at that point they'd be ready to induce.

Just shy of 40 weeks I started taking Evening Primrose Oil capsules. Orally during the day and several nights I inserted them vaginally -- but then stopped because they were so messy that it kind of grossed me out.

At this time I also started waking up in the middle of the night with a few hours of dull cramping (not contractions). I started walking more during the day. I had made it until this point without being very uncomfortable but things changed fairly quickly.



The cramps in the middle of the night had stopped for a few days when I hit my due date -- but began again at 40w2d in full force.

On Saturday August 3rd I woke up in the night and felt like I was leaking fluid. I checked in with the midwives and watched it over the early morning hours and eventually we decided it was probably just a liquid-y discharge. I went in around dinner time just to confirm that my water had not broke and came home after a quick check. I asked NOT to do an internal check because I knew it wouldn't be a good indicator as to when labor would start. 'Could be hours or could be days.'

Early sunday morning I woke up with more dull cramping, got up to chill in the shower for a little bit and saw that I was getting my bloody show. It started slow but picked up a heavier flow over the next 24 hours. I was feeling fairly comfortable that day and after having been off for a week (not 'maternity leave') I decided if I wasn't in labor the next morning... I was going to go into work. Around dinner time I started to have not painful contractions. This was the first time that the cramping wasn't just a flat line of pain but was actually starting and stopping.

At this point, I checked in with my parents in Michigan who were packed and on standby ready to get in the car and drive here as soon as I legit thought I was in labor. This had become really the only source of anxiety I had in regards to me going into labor. I really wanted my parents to be able to be here for the birth but also didn't want to false-alarm have them get in the car and drive here if perhaps I still had days and days left to go before real labor started.

I told them if anything else happened I'd check in with them.

Monday morning around 3 am I woke up and was having pretty strong back pain. Took a bath, showered, etc. Never made it back to sleep. Woke up my husband and told him 'It could still be a day before real labor starts... just go to work.' I also went to work against his better judgement (I'm obviously very stubborn?)

Told my boss I was pretty sure I wasn't going to make it through the day when I go there at 7:30 and by noon I told them I would be leaving early. I decided I was going to leave at 3 and head to the hospital to be checked to see what I was dilated -- I had not be checked at all thus far but was finally ready to be checked so I could hopefully tell my parents it was time for them to leave. My husband came home early and we headed to the hospital. Told my mom to prepare my stepdad to leave work early.

I got checked at 4:30 p.m. and was 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced. My mom said they were leaving as soon as my dad got home from work. We went home so I could labor at home and my parents got on the road around 6:30 and started their 700 mile drive.

Laboring at home wasn't what I envisioned but still wonderful. I was back home by a little after 5. Got out my heating pad, made hot cloths soaked in lavender water, put out cold drinks and found something to have on the TV that would distract me a little bit. I spent the next 7 hours basically cycling between taking a bath, taking a shower, sitting on the yoga ball and watching Signs and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I checked in with a few friends sporadically and kept my mom updated on my contractions and told her I was going to stay home as long as possible.

Around 7 I forced myself to lay down on the couch and spend the next hour timing my contractions. I had heard from so many people that their contractions started 10-15 minutes apart only lasting a brief amount of time. That never happened for me. The first time I was ever able to actually time them was during this hour and they were already 3-4 minutes apart lasting 60-80 seconds. At this point I had already been in labor for over well over 12 hours and I think the back pain had been masking the contractions felt in front. There was no break in the pain so I wasn't able to differentiate when I was having a contraction and when I wasn't.

Around 8 p.m. I called the midwives back. Chris Kocis was on that night. I told her what the timing was on the contractions but I also told her 'I can't imagine that much has changed. I was just there a few hours ago. I don't feel like I need to come back yet because I'm still able to be having this conversation with you.' She told me 'If you don't feel like you need to leave home yet -- you're probably fine. Don't pay attention to how far apart they are or how long they're lasting -- at this point just pay attention to the strength of the contractions. When things change you'll know. When you're ready to come to the hospital you'll know.' I told her I was going to try to stay home until at least midnight and that I'd call when we were coming back but knew that this baby was definitely on its way. When we got off the phone my parents were not even out of Ohio yet. They still had about 500 miles left to drive.

The rest of the time at home, even at the time, seemed to go very fast. I concentrated on one hour at a time. The pain was picking up quite fast. I had practiced hypnobabies for the last few months and although I was able to still visualize a little bit... I wasn't able to concentrate through listening to any of audio tracks at this point. I put my efforts into distracting myself as much as possible. I tried to walk around the house. I tried to drink as much fluids as I can. I used the washcloths soaked in lavender and inhaled the scent which actually helped so much. It was very soothing. I tried not to look at the clock but every time I did and saw I was getting closer and closer to midnight the better I felt.

I had my husband get the rest of our gear into the car. I tried to spend some time right before we left with my cats because they had become very nervous and scared during some of my poor painful contractions which I felt horrible about. They definitely could tell something wasn't 'right'. I told my husband to call the midwives back just after midnight to let them know we were on our way.

The car ride there is a complete blur now. By the time I got to the hospital I could barely walk -- they put my in a wheelchair as soon as I walked in the door. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but by this point I had given in quite a bit mentally and was letting the pain overcome me and was crying a lot When we got in the room and the midwife and a midwife in training came in I was borderline hysterical. I told them I was so nervous that they were going to tell me I had only progressed a very small amoun -- but they checked me and told me I was at 8 cm! At that point it was like I flipped a switch and was like REALLY?! And was laughing and so happy. Which proves (to me at least) that so much of pain is a mental thing. I felt rejuvenated and was like 'I can totally do this.' They asked me if I still planned to go natural and I said 'if you guys help me I can do this.'

While we waited to go up to our room we called our birth photographer and told her to head up to the hospital. My husband called my mom and told her I was at 8cm. They were just inside Pennsylvania at this time and both my parents and myself were like 'Well, this baby is coming before they get here.'

The first few hours in the delivery room were pretty good. The contractions seemed less intense for awhile while I was still on my mental high of thinking I was so close. Liz, the photographer and the nurse taking care of me joked around that I was way too calm and happy to be 8cm and 24 hours into labor.

Things changed when I asked to be checked after awhile. They told me that not only had I not progressed, but was actually not as dilated as they originally measured me -- because I guess I had been checked on the edge of a contraction. So I was closer to 6.5 cm.

This was around 3 a.m. and the next few hours were ROUGH. The back labor was so severe. Nothing was comfortable for very long. Sitting hurt, laying in the bed hurt. Thank GOD that I was only on intermittent monitoring because at one point I had the band and the monitors on my stomach and I started screaming about taking them off and they literally had cut the band off me because I felt like I was going to explode with it on. The shower was no longer soothing to me. Sitting on the yoga ball wasn't helpful either because the pressure was becoming so incredibly overwhelming that all I kept saying was how I felt like my ass was going to explode. They kept saying that was great because it meant the baby's head was way down. But you know, when you're in the moment... you don't care.

Around 5:30 I started checking in with my mom again and found out they were in New Jersey. A little while later they were near exit 40 on the LIE. At this time someone in the room was like 'They're going to make it!' I made a conscious effort to stay upright, walking around, leaning over the bed, etc. despite the fact that it was much more uncomfortable because Chris said she wasn't going to check me anymore but this would help things progress. I said 'if I'm not getting checked anymore, how will I know it's time to push the baby out?' Because the pressure was already so intense. She assured me I would know... it would feel like I couldn't control it anymore.

Just shy of 7 a.m. there was a shift change and Chris came in with the next midwife, Heather. She was one of the two midwives I was hoping would be the one to help me deliver and when she walked into the room I started crying a little bit and told her how happy I was to see her. They checked me and said I was 'all but completely dilated.' They could feel my bag of waters and basically just needed that to break and it would be go time.

Simultaneously... my mom sent me a text saying they were parking the car at the hospital and on their way up. Things went very fast from there. I went to pee and while I was leaving the bathroom I told my husband to go get the midwife and tell her this was it... I felt very strongly that I had to push.

It was basically like 'I can't stop this ... I HAVE to push. How do we get the water to break?!' Heather said she could break the water for me if I wanted but my body was already started to push. My parents walked into the room -- shocked and amazed that I was still in labor. They had spent the last 6 hours thinking 'well... she's had the baby and is just not telling us because she wants us to be surprised when we get there'. We told them what was going on and I was like 'Can I push more?!' And they said 'if you feel like you have to, go ahead and lightly push.'

I was standing up, leaning over the bed. And just one pushed broke my water. All over the floor. This only exacerbated the need to push. The midwife in training put pads down on the floor and got down there and coached me through my first round of pushing. Pushing wasn't hard at all. I immediately felt progress and very soon after they told me they could see a little bit of her head.

I think because it was happening so quickly they went ahead and made up the bed for me and had my get on the bed on my knees, facing the head of the bed. This was a very comfortable position to push in and most of my pushing was like this. It wasn't painful. It actually felt good to push. Towards the end they had me lay on my side with my husband holding up on of my legs. They told me I didn't need to put much strength into this stage of pushing and to just wait for each contraction and gently blow out air. My mom and the photographer who had the full view of the whole thing said the baby made the most progress when I was doing this and it was basically no effort on my part.

The only part of pushing that really hurt was the whole Ring of Fire part - which is definitely real. It took I think 2 contractions to push through that. With about 3 full breaths worth of pushing each contraction to get past this. Near the end of one of the contractions Heather told me to reach down and get ready to pull my baby out -- which I hadn't been expecting to do but was awesome. One last push and she was here. They put my hands underneath her arms and I pulled the baby out of me and up to my chest... stopping just brief enough to see that my was -- to almost everyone's shock and amazement... a GIRL !!!

All along we kept saying 'we hope the baby can wait until Shark Week to arrive' -- because husband and I met because of the movie Jaws.

As we got to the end and our photographer had to run out of town -- we only cared that baby waited until she returned.

As I went into labor I hoped that my parents would make it for the birth.

So baby girl stayed put until the photographer made it back into town. Then she held off until Shark Week. And then she held off until mere moments after my parents arrived after 700 miles of driving. Way to go, kid.

Our last shock was when they finally took her to be weighed, put her on the scale and I found out that I had just vaginally delivered, drug free a 9 lb 6oz baby. I had no idea she was going to be that big. I hadn't had an ultrasound since 20 weeks and the only time they made a guess as to how big she'd be ... they measured externally by hand and guessed 'Six and a half maybe 7lbs.' PSHHHH.

Recovery at Stony Brook was wonderful. I couldn't be happier with my experience with the midwives. I asked them to help me get through it without drugs and they were very encouraging and supportive in helping me do that.

Liz from Elizabeth Kristin Photography was also AMAZING. She was with me all night and sincerely played a major role as well in helping me get through without caving and asking for meds. When my husband became nervous I wouldn't make it through and started suggesting I just go ahead and get an epidural, Liz was so wonderful and gently reminded me of our previous conversations about why I wanted to go med free and kept telling me how great I was doing and how I WAS going to be able to do it. For that I will forever be so hugely thankful that she was there. She also captured so many amazing photos of the whole experience including photos of my daughter's first precious moments of life that we never would've been able to get ourselves.

I highly encourage anyone considering having a photographer be present to get in touch with her. And if you've never thought about it - seriously do. It's a once in a lifetime experience and you can't go back to recapture that kind of stuff. So please check her out on facebook.

Elizabeth Kristin Photography




Penelope Shaw -- 'Poe'

August 6th, 2013
Almost 29 hours of labor at 8:53 a.m.
9lbs 6oz 21 3/4 inches long.

Message edited 8/11/2013 5:45:34 PM.

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Congrats!!! Love the pics!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Going through this with you, over the phone/chatting/texting with your DH (plus of course the entire 9 months of pregnancy) was one of the most meaningful and amazing experiences. I love you both so much!

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Amazing birth! I have to say I got tears when I read your parents were there! So special!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Thank you so much for sharing your birth story! You have me sold to switch to Stony Brook Midwives (we're still TTC). Did you go to their Stony Brook office, or the Bohemia office? I'm not all that close to either office, which is the only thing I'm concerned about.

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Congratulations on a beautiful baby and a drug free healthy, birth. I had a very similar experience as you (along with the long time spent in transition...I thought it would never end). Looking back a year later it is still really empowering to know what your body can do!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Even though I knew most of this story already, it still made me cry. Love you and Poe! Congrats again mama!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

What a wonderful story and great pics! Congrats!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

AMAZING BIRTH STORY!!!!!!!!!!!

Poe is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Omg so amazing!! The pictures are beautiful!!!! What a beautiful memento! Congratulations!

Message edited 8/12/2013 9:36:07 AM.

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

such an awesome story!!! i'm considering trying to go drug-free as well now after having learned my mom did it with both me and my sister. Gives me hope that i can do it too!

glad SB was great too. Photos are amazing!

congrats again to you!!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Amazing story! COngratulations.

Can you recommed any books you read that encouraged your med free birth?

I'm truly amazed!

Message edited 8/12/2013 12:38:46 PM.

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Love every bit of this. Congrats again! xo

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Amazing story!!

congratulations!!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Beautiful!!! Congrats!!! I love the pics too!!
I'm so impressed that you did it drug free!!!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

The Big Book of Birth by Erica Lyon
Ina Mae Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth (she can be pretty granola, but def worth reading)

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

I love this Becki! Made me cry!

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Congrats!!!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

I loved reading your story! Oh and have I told you I am in love with Poe!

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

You're amazing ! I actually teared up reading this. Congrats on your beautiful baby and welcome to mommy hood !

Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

Great story, I have a Penelope too and used Liz for pics! Congrats!!

Re: Team Green: Baby Poe's awesome timing -- Unmedicated Birth with Stony Brook Midwives.

amazing story thank you for sharing