A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

OK so I KNOW that everyone is going to tell me once she is in a routine everything will work out fine, but this is making going back to work even harder.

DD is at my moms two days and my MIL 3 days and then with us on the weekends. My mom is AWESOME about following "rules" and schedules etc. MIL-not so much.

I broke DD of the swing nap habit as soon as I was off from the summer and now she is an awesome napper and sleeps in her crib, falls asleep on her own etc.

I spent about 45min to an hour trying to get her to nap at my moms today and before that my mom tried for almost an hour. She was SCREAMING. I let her cry for a good while and then rocked her to sleep in my arms, put her down---SCREAMING again. I finally took her home and she passed out in her crib in less than 5 mins.

My mom has a PNP and is thinking about getting a crib to see if that is the problem. MIL has a PNP as well and its in the middle of the living area, where she watches a 4 year old as well. My mom will do everything in her power to try and make her comfortable (she wants to clean out my dads office and make a nursery, has bought her a brand new excersaucer and highchair for her house and wants to get a crib, makes it dark and quiet during nap times etc.) MIL is not like that.

I know she will fall into a schedule but i am freaking that since she is between 3 places during the week, she is not going to sleep well and her schedule that she NEEDS is going to be a mess.

Does anyone else have a child that jumps around babysitter-wise? Did they eventually adjust to naps in all different environments and in a PNP vs crib?

I dont have a problem leaving her to work, but this is really bothering me. If *I* couldnt even get her to nap at my MOMS, I am having a hard time figuring out how she will ever sleep at MILs.



Oh and my mom said if it comes down to it she will bring DD home to nap int he afternoon. MIL cant do that bc she does not drive.

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

ETA

Does anyone think I should set up my PNP in a different area of my house and try to get her used to napping in there?

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

My older DD was just like this...and she went to THREE different places during the week while I worked! I was a teacher too. Honestly, she just wouldn't sleep anywhere and so I put her up for a nap when we got home. In the end, she would sleep from like 3:30ish to around 5 at the latest maybe...although she was never a long napper and still is not. But guess what...that child will be 4 next month and I put her up for a nap at 3:30! Same schedule! Although, whether she's sleeping or not right now is another story. It's more for me than it is for her at this point.

I wouldn't try and adjust anything at your house...don't mess with a good thing at home!

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

my DS also had 2 places. my inlaws 4 days per week, mymom once a week, hten weekend at home. he was a MESS! we did it for 7 months. he won't nap. we did CIO every saturday (crying all day) sunday he would be great then monday the nonsense started all over again. we were never able to fix the problem. I'm home with him now and things are great, so I don't have advice I just totally feel your pain

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

MY DS had the same schedule.

First he always slept great at my house and we had a very easy schedule as long as it was followed it did not matter what house he was in.

My grandmother watched him and he slept great at her house because she played soft music, hummed to him and followed my schedule/techniques. It worked.

As far as MIL, she didn't want to listen and tried making up her own techniques (like bouncing him up and down the hallways and patting his back...this may have worked for DH but not my DS).

It got really tough for me because I felt stuck. I needed her help but I didn't like the way she took care of DS sometimes (or the way she intentionally didn't listen to me).

I am thankful though for him being watched his first year by family but now he is in school and things are sooooo much better.

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

DD had four different places - home, MIL, my mother and Heather's house. Home was the only place she didn't nap in a PNP.

I hate to tell you Jen, but she does not EVER nap at my mother's house - EVER (today at age 20 1/2 months included). I have resigned myself to that simple fact and take comfort in knowing she will fall asleep in the car for the 45 minute ride home.

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

Re: A long vent--adivce needed if you have it!

Although my DD is only 5 months old....I can relate in that she is watched in 3 different places...mom, MIL, and aunt.....and the days she is with my mom, she naps great - the other days, not so much....like a PP said, I know she will nap in the car, so I try not to get too upset about it now. I think a big part of it is that we feel helpless being at work and wonder if the day would have gone any different had we been home with our DD's. I have a similar situation where my aunt has her PNP in the middle of the living room! How is my DD supposed to sleep there with her 9 year old running around? So actually this week I am going to speakup and ask her to put it in a quiet room. And my MIL I think is finally starting to get that my DD needs to nap - we were on vacation together for almost a week, so she got to see how I "do it." I don't think it will ever be perfect, but I think we have to just sigh heavily and say "it is what it is" - but believe me - I HEAR YA!!!