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A question for mommies...

Posted By Message

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

A question for mommies...

After the baby was born (while in the hospital), were grandparents allowed in the room while you were with your baby or were they only able to see him/her in the nursery (through the window)?

I'm not trying to sound selfish...and if I am...please someone tell me....but I don't feel comfortable having my MIL hold my newborn son. She's the type of person that will want to hold him as soon as she enters my room.

We haven't had the best relationship and she knows that I just tolerate her...so this might be where my feelings are coming from. I don't want to be rude to her but I don't know how to handle this situation if it does arise.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable...I just feel more comfortable with my own mother holding him...Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/05 4:16 PM
 
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Tany
Becoming a different woman

Member since 5/05

24460 total posts

Name:
Tania

Re: A question for mommies...

When you have given birth and then they take you to your room wether is private or semi private, any visitors are allowed.
But they take the baby first to the nursery and no one is allowed to go there just from outside. Afterwards, they will bring your baby to you.

Posted 6/10/05 4:21 PM
 

capricorn75
J-E-T-S

Member since 5/05

1645 total posts

Name:

Re: A question for mommies...

I gave birth in St. Charles. I clearly remember with my first (1999) that my bil/sil were in the room while I was holding him. But with my second (2001), I remember that they took the babies to the nursery during visiting hours and family could only see them through the window.

Posted 6/10/05 4:29 PM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: A question for mommies...

I'm sure you can also request that the baby NOT be in the room during open visiting hours! That might be ALOT easier for you!

Posted 6/10/05 4:48 PM
 

AJsMommy122
Stop 2 smell the roses

Member since 5/05

2048 total posts

Name:
Maxine

Re: A question for mommies...

Yes grandparents/realitives/friends were allowed in the room ( only a certain number at a time ..maybe 5 ??) and they were allowed to hold the baby. Not RIGHT after he was born but onec they brought him back to the room after all his tests and everything else.

Posted 6/10/05 5:33 PM
 

Sassy2611
My Ray of sunshine

Member since 5/05

1101 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Re: A question for mommies...

I am in the same boat. My MIL has her moments where I feel she is overly pushy. I spoke to DH about it and talked to the hospital to see what the procedure is before I give birth and they said there is a grandparent time where the baby is in the room but we are only having my parents and the god parents in because the baby is in the room. My ILs are coming when regular hours are because
Kaylee is going to be in the nursery. I didn't want my IL's or SIL to hold Kaylee the first couple of days because they will hold her and never give her back. I don't want to have to fight with my MIL about holding MY child and that is how it would be. (So Kaylee is safe behind the nursery glass)Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/05 5:55 PM
 

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

Re: A question for mommies...

So I guess I'm not being selfish???Chat Icon

Posted 6/10/05 6:17 PM
 

Jenn27
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

107 total posts

Name:
jenn

Re: A question for mommies...

I think it depends on the hospital. i was at LIJ and my son was born at 5:15pm. everyone was only able to see him threw the window and i didnt get him back until about 9 or 10 that night! They put a limit on how many people where in the room during visiting hours i think it was 4 or 5 at a time.
okay as far as MIL (this is coming from a person who has a very strong minded one Chat Icon ) it is your baby not hers remember that! but keep in mind it is also her son who just had a baby.

Posted 6/10/05 6:22 PM
 

AJsMommy122
Stop 2 smell the roses

Member since 5/05

2048 total posts

Name:
Maxine

Re: A question for mommies...

Posted by Stefanie

So I guess I'm not being selfish???Chat Icon



No not at all!!! At first I didn't even think I would want DH to hold him Chat Icon

But that day I was soo tired from my 30 something hours in labor and just so happy he was finally here and I was really in a great mood. Everyone wound up holding him that day BUT before we let him get "passed around" so to speak I pulled DH aside and told him everyone had a time limit. No more then 5 min. of any one person holding him.
He was really good about watching the clock and then giving the baby back to me when the 5 min. were up.
( He didn't come out and tell them they only had 5 min. b/c then they would have gotten there feathers ruffled he came up with something each time like oh he might need to be fed, or lets put him down so he can go back to sleep)

Message edited 6/10/2005 7:01:23 PM.

Posted 6/10/05 7:01 PM
 

Sassy2611
My Ray of sunshine

Member since 5/05

1101 total posts

Name:
Sarah

Re: A question for mommies...

Posted by Stefanie

So I guess I'm not being selfish???Chat Icon



Nope, not at all.

Posted 6/10/05 7:27 PM
 

monkeybride
My Everything

Member since 5/05

20541 total posts

Name:

Re: A question for mommies...

I'm not in NY but I know at my hospital unless you request them to take the baby to the nursery you keep the baby with you at all times. I personally don't want my baby in the nursery unless it can't be avoided for some reason. This is one reason I chose my hospital.

Posted 6/10/05 7:41 PM
 

Tracey
***********

Member since 5/05

6297 total posts

Name:
Tracey - brideinapril

Re: A question for mommies...

Posted by btrflygrl

I'm sure you can also request that the baby NOT be in the room during open visiting hours! That might be ALOT easier for you!



I was just going to suggest this, it is exactly what I did. I hated the idea of him being passed around like a football.

Posted 6/10/05 7:58 PM
 

btrflygrl
me and baby #3!

Member since 5/05

12013 total posts

Name:
Shana

Re: A question for mommies...

I know I don't want a million people touching my baby, but MIL is a smoker....I just don't want her touching the baby so early!

Posted 6/10/05 8:58 PM
 

DaniRN
Lovemykids!

Member since 5/05

1889 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: A question for mommies...

I also delivered at St.Charles. From 2-4 were grandparent hours where the babies were allowed out of the nursery and from 7-8 were general visiting where the babies had to be behind the windows in the nursery.
Actually, noone hel the baby that day during visitng hours-they were really just kind of admiring her in the bassinet.

Posted 6/10/05 10:02 PM
 

RyansMommy
LIF Infant

Member since 5/05

373 total posts

Name:
Mom of 2

Re: A question for mommies...

I think it depends on the hospital. At St Charles in Pt Jeff they allow ONLY grandparents into the room with the baby. Everyone else has from 7-8pm to view the baby in the nursery at which point the visitors can come visit you while the baby is not in the room.

Posted 6/10/05 10:03 PM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: A question for mommies...

I delivered at North Shore Manhasset and Sarah was in my room all day with me and the visitors. They brought her in about an hour before DH's visiting hours and took her back around when the hours for DH was ending. I think he was able to arrive and stay an hour or two longer than the other guests. I guess I could have sent her back to the nursery, but I never thought of it.

Message edited 6/10/2005 10:29:54 PM.

Posted 6/10/05 10:29 PM
 

JennChris
life moves fast

Member since 5/05

4225 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: A question for mommies...

Posted by Stefanie

So I guess I'm not being selfish???Chat Icon



You are never selfish when it comes to what you think is right for your baby!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 6/11/05 12:08 AM
 

Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!

Member since 5/05

8126 total posts

Name:
D

Re: A question for mommies...

I work at Winthrop and they have special grandparents & sibling visiting hours from 2-4pm everyday. The baby is in the room w/you but as Shana pointed out if you're not comfortable you can have them bring the baby back to the nursery at this time. Otherwise general visiting hours are from 6:30-8pm where anybody and everybody is welcome and all the babies are in the nursery safely behind glass and everybody is welcome to check out your baby that way!

Posted 6/11/05 2:45 AM
 

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

Re: A question for mommies...

I'm delivering at Winthrop, so thank you for the visiting times...maybe I'll see you there.Chat Icon

Posted 6/11/05 9:59 AM
 

CunningOne
***

Member since 5/05

26975 total posts

Name:

Re: A question for mommies...

Yep, I delivered at Winthrop. Granparents can come between 2 and 4 in the afternoon and the baby will be in your room During the 6:30-8 p.m., the baby is in the nursery. Tell your MIL she can only come in the evening Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 6/11/05 4:30 PM
 

Stefanie

Member since 5/05

23599 total posts

Name:
Stefanie

Re: A question for mommies...

That's a good idea...Chat Icon

Posted 6/12/05 1:23 AM
 

curley999
Family!

Member since 5/05

2314 total posts

Name:

Re: A question for mommies...

I do not think you are being selfish at all, and you should definitely do what you feel comfortable with. I have learned from my daughters delivery what I will do differently if we have another one regarding my MIL. I delivered at Withrop and since the baby is in the room during grandparents visiting, my MIL was there. When Claire was less then 24 hours old, my MIL was holding her and decides to start picking at some dry skin on her head!! I had to yell at her 3 times to stop and then she thinks it is OK to unswaddle her and start to inspect her from any problems!! OMG I wanted to kill her, DH stepped in and gave Claire back to me. I have to say that some things MIL said and did right around the delivery and soon after have COMPLETELY changed our relationship for the worse. My advice is that it is your child, your feelings are most important! I would tell her to visit in the evening!!!

Posted 6/13/05 10:41 AM
 

iffer042373
5 weeks till I'm a big sister

Member since 5/05

2642 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: A question for mommies...

I don't think your being selfish at all I totally understand where your coming from I have similar issues with my MIL

I gave birth in LIJ and they had gave me the baby at 9 in the morning for feeding and I kept her with me for as long as I wanted. You can request the baby be taken back before visitng hours on the day your MIL is coming to visit. Then once she leave have them bring the baby to you.

Posted 6/13/05 11:54 AM
 
 

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