ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! DH AND DD

I feel like a broken record but I need advice now more than ever! This is part parenting part relationship with DH but I would appreciate if it stays here.

I have posted over the last 6 weeks how we tried to do CIO... the problem is I would be able to do it for bedtime and only for two-three days at a time and then we would have somewhere to go and not be home at her bedtime. Also she was waking in the night and I admit I was selfish and lazy and just took her into o bed with me and didn’t really make her CIO in the middle of the night because I had to get up for work. WRONG I know, believe me I regret it now.

DH has never been fond of the CIO method. Now that he is home with a broken leg and has decided to stay home and use his sick time I cant even do CIO during the day while he’s not here in hope that it will help with the night wakings... so basically I am throwing n the towel for using the CIO method. I think if I had started earlier at 6 months it would have worked better. I wanted to try then when she was 6 months and I was home on vacation for spring break but she was so sick and that’s when becoming into o my room started and unfortunately has never ended. When she is sick its ok with me but now it’s out of hand.

Heres where the DH problem comes in to play.. He is telling me that I have ruined her association with the crib and now I have to fix it some how but he has no idea how. Just like he had no other solutions for getting her to sleep he just knew he didn’t want to do CIO. He is absolutely NO HELP especially now with his broken leg but even before .All he does is criticizes my method of getting her to bed and staying in her bed but yet has no other alternatives.

Last night I refused to take her into bed with me so I did pick her up and sat in the chair with her for about 10 minutes. I tried NOT to rock to much don’t want her getting used to that.. My mom seems to think she may need to be fed right befoer bed a small snack like applesauce or something. My DH says she is not tired enough to put her to bed later...

THOUGHTS? ADVICE? PLEASE!!!!!!!!

Re: ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! DH AND DD

what time are you putting her to bed? Do you have a routine? My DD is almost 8 months old - our routine is: bath every other night, pajamas, stories (the same 3 every night), bottle, bed. I know they say not to feed her right before bed, but it's been working for us and she did not sleep through the night for the longest time. I was desperate.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. DH needs to be on the same page with you.

Re: ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! DH AND DD

I tried to let DD CIO a while back also but it just broke my heart. I got a book titled, "Good Night, Sleep Tight"; the book uses the Sleep Lady Shuffle Method. It's about distancing yourself from DD slowly but surely. It's a slow transitional process....it took me about a week. Now DD goes in with maybe 2 minutes of crying (unless she's not feeling well). You should check it out. The other thing I did to try to get rid of the "crib phobia" was to play with DD while she was in the crib. This way she doesn't look at it as a place where she is always deserted.

Thoughts on the snack before bedtime...I think it's probably a good idea but I wouldn't do applesauce or another fruit. I think too much sugar=no sleep. Maybe a little cereal instead.

I always thought waiting for DD to be more tired would work too but it always backfired on me. Then DD would be overtired and fight like the dickens to stay awake.

I hope you and DH can get on the same page b/c that's the only way to really make it work. GOod luck!

Re: ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! DH AND DD

It could be that she is over tired and I would try putting her to bed earlier if you are putting her to bed late now. DD went to sleep bt 6 & 6:30pm until he was 8 months then it was 7 and now it is 8 at 14.5 months and I plan on keeping that time. I also have always given him a bottle before bed, so when he was done he went right into the crib and I put the mobile on and left the room with no looking back and he would fuss for a little and that was it. Also consistancy is key and I may be wrong for saying this but if your DH doesn't want to help and doesn't have any ideas on what to do then I think you should try something on your own and see how it works and deal with the critizings you.

Re: ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! DH AND DD

thanks everyone. Yeah he and hios broken leg and gonna be the end of me i swear. He is soo miserable and yet he wants to criticize Everytign i do with dd . From sleep time to how much time she plays on teh florr ets. i cant take it.

Re: ADVICE DESPERATELY NEEDED! DH AND DD

Noel, as you know I have nap problems with Megan. At night shes much better but I will admit, I hardly ever put her in the crib awake. If I do, she just pulls herself up and cries. We give her a bottle while shes laying down with me in the bed. She falls asleep drinking that bottle and then I transfer her to the crib. Works like a charm. This way I know she has a little something in her tummy, so shes full but not overly full. Shes content because she falls asleep in my arms (I know a lot of people dont want to start this habit but it works for us..it only takes about 10 minutes out of my night to get her down.)

Do you think that maybe you can give her a small bottle to get her to sleep and just transfer her in to the crib? Or she wont fall asleep in your arms for the night? Obviously cio is out if you and Jimmy arent on the same page about it. Im sorry.

I send you tons of hugs because I think I would KILL Anthony if he was home all the time, especially criticizing everything I do. Remember, YOU'RE the one who is basically with Allie, and your doing a GREAT job! He needs to understand that and just accept it. I know, easier said than done. I am here for you!