All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

A friend of mine works at a baby magazine, and she gave me a bunch of reading material today... I was thumbing through a little magazine insert called The First Months, and I started to freak out again.

I feel like there is SOOOO much you need to know, so many things you need to pay attention to-- I am not sure I am ever going to "get it".

The way I deal with being overwhelmed is that I just start to ignore things cause I can't handle it, and if I ignore things for too long, I am never going to learn and I don't have much time left!!!

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

Honestly, if you continue to ignore, you'll do just fine! You'll learn as you go - promise! And, that's what the parenting board is for

Totally normal to freak out!

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

Honestly, from a BTDT mom
( and mom to be again)- you can read till your hearts content and it doesnt matter- Every baby is different, everyone's experience is different and there are no hard and fast rules to taking care of a newborn that a doctor won't tell you along the way...It will come to you- you'll see

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

Lots of things really do come with just experiencing it first hand. When I had my first DD, I felt so overwhelmed but things did come together. I went from being soooo nervous to even hold her to carrying her like a sack of potatoes in no time. Really though, what you once knew nothing about, soon becomes second nature.

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Feeling overwhelmed is totally normal, but I promise you - you will learn it all the second your baby is in your arms. It may not be right away but you will have that instinct and you will know what to do in your gut.

Becoming a mother is the scariest thing in the world - and it is so overwhelming, and there will be days when you really have no clue what you're doing. But you will figure it out (and if you can't figure it out - that's what we're here for on the Parenting board )

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

We have the same strategy, but I also agree with PPs. I just feel like I can't "read all about it" and expect to be prepared. I was going to take an early childhood development/care class, but then I thought that, like reading, is just going to freak me out even more, or get me scared if/when my baby doesn't do or react to the things I read about.

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

nothing you read can prepare you for the moment you bring your baby home and it's just you, DH, and the baby... all staring at one another, with no one having a clue. we have all been through it.

first day home i was convinced my son was having seizures (they were just normal newborn twitches). i started looking through all my medical books for infant seizure disorders. i didn't sleep the whole first night from anxiety.

second day home i was convinced that my baby was hysterical crying because he had gas. i knew it was gas because i could hear him "swallowing air"when he nursed. yeah... turns out what i was hearing was him GULPING milk. he was crying because every time i heard the noise i would take him off the breast!! yes, for that day i starved my baby until i called a lifeline (my LC) and she set me straight.

i could go on and on ()... but my point is, it's gonna be confusing at the beginning. but you get through it, and the learning curve is steep. sure, you are probably going to cause your baby (and yourself!) some discomfort along the way as you learn the ropes... but don't worry, the baby will forgive you

you and your baby will both be OKAY

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

thanks everyone... I am just a planner, and a control freak. I like to know what's going to happen, and how to handle any situation.

Thank god I am going to have a baby nurse here for two weeks-- otherwise, I don't know how I would get through!!

I guess also you go to the doc so many times at the beginning, that is where you pick things up. I just feel like everyone else knows so much more about babies than I do.

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

I read as much as I could when I was PG with DD and I'll tell you what, NONE of it prepared me for the collicky, no sleep baby that she was. There's really not much you can do to prepare for motherhood - you'll just take it day by day and lean on your friends with children and the ladies on Parenting

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

LOL, so am i ...i am so OCD it is funny really..i am due on Friday and let me tell you that i am not ready..i figure, at this point, i will learn as I go! I am so tired i dont even have the energy to read! Plus, then i start to freak reading everything bc there is sooo much stuff that makes you worry.

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

I honestly dont' think reading a few books is going to prepare ANYONE for ANYTHING ..........

I feel like this is just going to be one of those things you can not even begin to prepare for until you're just IN it -

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

As much as you read and research once that baby is here it all goes out the window. I mean, every kid is different, not all are going sleep, not all are going to be colic. Its all a crap shoot and a learn as you go thing. I have read all I can. I think its just instint at a certain point.

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

The 1st year of motherhood is a trying time...but you WILL be okay

I read up on so many things (this way I knew what I wanted to do and didnt fall prey to my family's advice from the 1970's)

I took advice and then did my own thing. You will come into your own groove with your baby.

There will be times you want to pull y our hair out--but it passes.

For laughs I would read "The Girlfriends Guide to 1st year of motherhood"--I found it very helpful when I started to think I was the only mommy who felt like she was going crazy

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

I feel that once the babies are here, things will come naturally. Woman have been having babies and have become mothers for tens of thousands of years without any books! Don't worry, you will do fine!!

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

Re: All aboard the Freaking Out Train...

You learn it all as you go along... youll be great. The BEST piece of advice I was given was:

When a baby is crying uncontrollable and you did everything you can think of.. diaper change, fed, burped, snugged.... and wont stop crying.. take off mittens and socks.. and check their fingers and toes.. for loose strings or hair that may have gotten wrapped around their fingers/toes.. you have to check very carefully b/c sometimes thread can get inbedded in skin.

My bil and sis was told this by bils mom/boyfriend.. b/c one of her boyfriends babies at the time this happened.. and baby almost lost a toe. From the moment i was told this I wash all dds cloths inside out including socks.