Am I a Bad Mommy?

What do you all do if you are alone with your twins and are feeding/consoling one and the other is crying? Do you let them cry? Do you put down the other one and get that one??

I am having a lot of issues like this with my boys. One cries, the other cries.....I can't take it much longer and then i feel guilty because I am letting them CIO now. ANd they are only 8 weeks.

Please help.

Re: Am I a Bad Mommy?

If I was taking care of one and the other was crying in a I want attention kind of way, where I knew nothing was wrong I would try and talk to the crying one while still feeding or changing the one I started taking care of. I would not put the non crying one down, because I was worried that they would get to realize that the loudest cries get more attention and I felt it was unfair of the calmer one to never get time with me.

If they were each in thier crib and I was in the nursery feeding them, i would feed one over the others crib so that I could console him without picking him up etc.

You are not a bad mother at all, you are just doing what it takes to take care of two babies. No baby has ever died from crying.

Re: Am I a Bad Mommy?

First of all, you are NOT a bad mommy!!!
Second, I agree with Michele about not putting one down to pick up the one thats crying. Cuz they will get the idea that whoever is louder gets mommys attention.
Thankfully for me, it is rare that they are both crying at the same time. As long as he is safe and not in any danger, its okay to let him cry for a few minutes.

Re: Am I a Bad Mommy?

Don't even think that for 1 second! Its so hard in the beginning and I remember crying about the exact same situation. As long as you know he is ok, than he can cry for a few minutes. Keep him near you so he can hear you talk or so you can rub his belly, and keep taking care of the one you are with. Its hard to juggle 2 tiny little babies, but you are doing it! And I am sure you are doing it great! Twins learn early on that they need to share some attention. My boys are almost 2 and I can say with experience that they probably learn to calm down better than a single baby would because they share you. There were times I felt guilty about them sharing me, but let me tell you, they are such a team and the best of friends! They dont mind so you shouldn't either. Hang in there.

Re: Am I a Bad Mommy?

I agree with everyone....YOU ARE NOT a bad mommy.
This happens a lot during the day for me, when Im feeding one and Im by myself, the other will cry.

Re: Am I a Bad Mommy?

I try to talk to the cryer at the time. I caress his head or hold his hand. It's hard to balance it all but you better believe you're in expert in the 8 weeks they've been here! No one knows how difficult it is with 2 infants until they've done it! Keep your chin up and realize you are doing a fantastic job under tough circumstances!

Re: Am I a Bad Mommy?

You are NOT a bad Mommy! You are doing your best under very difficult circumstances. I also feel terrible when I can't tend to my crying baby. I tend to put down the not crying child to old the crying one. I NEVER thought about the behavor I was reinforcing! That stops now. Thankfully, we have this board to get advice from and pick up pointers.