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KarenAnthony
Baby Girl Coming in May!!!
Member since 10/07 3031 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Ok, so as i posted before a few weeks ago I called up my boss (with whom i've worked with for 11 years) to tell him i would not be returning to work since i do not make enough money for it to be worth while. His reaction was kind of cold and he told me to call Human Resources to find out details on how to handle departure..i had told him i wanted to come back at least one day to see him since we worked so long with eachother..
Anyway, another administrator just called me to basically tell me it makes no sense for me to come back and work a week or two, and to just come in whenever i want to pack up my desk. I just feel hurt that my boss hasn't contacted me personally to coordinate when i'd be coming in so maybe we could have lunch and to wish me well...In the last 11 years i did sooooo much for this man (lots of personal stuff included), and now it seems like he doesn't even give a crap that i'm leaving. I know it shouldn't bother me but it kind of does..ugh..just needed to get that out!
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Posted 8/9/12 2:41 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:47 PM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
this.
and dont feel hurt regardless. its just business - its not personal.
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:49 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
Yes I was going to say this. It sounds like maybe HE is a bit hurt too, and men just show it in a different way- as in, by acting like they dont' care and being cold .
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:50 PM |
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Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
I see both sides. And you know men..never can show how they really feel in a proper manner. He may be blindsided and sad and fear finding a replacement as good and reliable as you are. Employee departures are hard for bosses and coworkers, not just employee, kwim?
I'd invite him to lunch. But I wouldn't take it to heart especially if you had a good relationship all these years. 
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:51 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
I agree...he probably thinks you anticipated this all along but let them think you were returning, and he's pissed.
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:52 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
I agree...he probably thinks you anticipated this all along but let them think you were returning, and he's pissed.
This and This.
Sometimes we think more about how we feel than how someone else feels and forget their feelings. I am guessing he's upset/hurt about how you quit. Seems like he was under the impression you were just going to be on maternity leave and return. Now they likely will be having to find someone else to replace you and probably think that they could have been doing that the entire time you were on leave.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:18 PM |
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KarenAnthony
Baby Girl Coming in May!!!
Member since 10/07 3031 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
Well, first off he got really lucky because he has a GREAT temp, who i'm sure will be getting my job. Seriously, she couldn't be a better fit for him..But he is lucky that way.
When i callled, i explained that my mom can no longer babysit for free and that we figured out the numbers and financialy it doesn't make sense for me to work. I also stated that i felt really badly, and that i wanted to come back for at least a week to see him and wrap things up at the desk....he barely responded to me after i said that. I felt hurt then...but now i'm just mad because he had someone else call me and didn't even coordinate when i'd be coming in...the admin person told me that he will most likely not even be in the office. I guess busisness is business and i am the fool, but i really did a LOT for him. I dealt with all his ex-wives, girlfriends, his kids, even told a few lies for him...and this is what i get.. Now I know why all his ex'es DESPISE him.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:24 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by KarenAnthony
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
Well, first off he got really lucky because he has a GREAT temp, who i'm sure will be getting my job. Seriously, she couldn't be a better fit for him..But he is lucky that way.
When i callled, i explained that my mom can no longer babysit for free and that we figured out the numbers and financialy it doesn't make sense for me to work. I also stated that i felt really badly, and that i wanted to come back for at least a week to see him and wrap things up at the desk....he barely responded to me after i said that. I felt hurt then...but now i'm just mad because he had someone else call me and didn't even coordinate when i'd be coming in...the admin person told me that he will most likely not even be in the office. I guess busisness is business and i am the fool, but i really did a LOT for him. I dealt with all his ex-wives, girlfriends, his kids, even told a few lies for him...and this is what i get.. Now I know why all his ex'es DESPISE him.
IMO thats how companies work. Coming and go in my job all have to go through HR. My boss is not supposed to get completely involved. Yes he has a say but it is all handled through HR.
And I would be a bit upset if a long time employee took leave and right before they were to come back called and said sorry I'm not comign back. I know people do it all the time with maternity leave so they can get paid but it for employers it kinda sucks.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:30 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by Katareen
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
I agree...he probably thinks you anticipated this all along but let them think you were returning, and he's pissed.
I completely agree. Even if he has a great replacement already, he's probably hurt and/or offended at the situation.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:32 PM |
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KarenAnthony
Baby Girl Coming in May!!!
Member since 10/07 3031 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by alli3131
Posted by KarenAnthony
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
Well, first off he got really lucky because he has a GREAT temp, who i'm sure will be getting my job. Seriously, she couldn't be a better fit for him..But he is lucky that way.
When i callled, i explained that my mom can no longer babysit for free and that we figured out the numbers and financialy it doesn't make sense for me to work. I also stated that i felt really badly, and that i wanted to come back for at least a week to see him and wrap things up at the desk....he barely responded to me after i said that. I felt hurt then...but now i'm just mad because he had someone else call me and didn't even coordinate when i'd be coming in...the admin person told me that he will most likely not even be in the office. I guess busisness is business and i am the fool, but i really did a LOT for him. I dealt with all his ex-wives, girlfriends, his kids, even told a few lies for him...and this is what i get.. Now I know why all his ex'es DESPISE him.
IMO thats how companies work. Coming and go in my job all have to go through HR. My boss is not supposed to get completely involved. Yes he has a say but it is all handled through HR.
And I would be a bit upset if a long time employee took leave and right before they were to come back called and said sorry I'm not comign back. I know people do it all the time with maternity leave so they can get paid but it for employers it kinda sucks.
Well, i truly thought i did them a favor by doing it that way. I really needed the health insurance for delivering my baby. So my only other option was to go into work for two weeks and then resign, but by doing that i feel like that would be so much worse...i'm sure him and the new girl are in a groove..i feel like me going back for just two weeks would have inconvenienced everyone..including the new girl who really needs a job.
However, since everyone who has responded thinks i'm the one at fault here.maybe i am, but i just don't see it.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:39 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
He probably thinks you were planning that all along. Eff it. Becoming a SAHM was the best thing for me, so 
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:49 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by alli3131
IMO thats how companies work. Coming and go in my job all have to go through HR. My boss is not supposed to get completely involved. Yes he has a say but it is all handled through HR.
And I would be a bit upset if a long time employee took leave and right before they were to come back called and said sorry I'm not comign back. I know people do it all the time with maternity leave so they can get paid but it for employers it kinda sucks.
This is exactly what I was going to say.
I know if I were the boss, I'd be pissed and not want to speak to the employee. JMHO.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:50 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by KarenAnthony
Well, i truly thought i did them a favor by doing it that way. I really needed the health insurance for delivering my baby. So my only other option was to go into work for two weeks and then resign, but by doing that i feel like that would be so much worse...i'm sure him and the new girl are in a groove..i feel like me going back for just two weeks would have inconvenienced everyone..including the new girl who really needs a job.
However, since everyone who has responded thinks i'm the one at fault here.maybe i am, but i just don't see it.
you have a right to be hurt but i def. see why your boss would be hurt too and angry right now.
Also though couldnt you have given them that your last offical day would be when you went into labor so you still had health insurance when you had the baby ... serious question cause i have no idea
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:50 PM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
I know how you feel I had something similar happen with my job ~ you spend so much time at a company ~ I hope you feel better (I know for me I was hurt for a little bit) 
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:50 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
dont let it get to you. it isnt personal, its business. it seems like you took the relationship more personally, seriously than he did. to him, you were employed, everything you've mentioned was likely your job (or at least thats how he sees it).
Men think MUCH differently than women.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:57 PM |
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KarenAnthony
Baby Girl Coming in May!!!
Member since 10/07 3031 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
thanks to those u can understand how i feel.
The way i see it is the only way i could have not hurt him in a situation like this would be to come back to work..but as i said, it would actually cost me money to work. I actually thought he may have offered me more money to stay..(silly me!).
He also said he would stop by my home to visit my new baby and he never did.
Oh well, i get over things pretty quickly..so i'll be fine..but really just need to vent..
And on another note, i'm very happy i get to be home with my kiddies.
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| Posted 8/9/12 4:08 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by KarenAnthony
thanks to those u can understand how i feel.
The way i see it is the only way i could have not hurt him in a situation like this would be to come back to work..but as i said, it would actually cost me money to work. I actually thought he may have offered me more money to stay..(silly me!).
He also said he would stop by my home to visit my new baby and he never did.
Oh well, i get over things pretty quickly..so i'll be fine..but really just need to vent..
And on another note, i'm very happy i get to be home with my kiddies.
Don't feel bad. I don't think anyone thinks this is your fault or anything- I mean your financial/childcare situation is outside of your control. It's not like you were looking to screw him over or anything. Stuff happens that's all.
I just think people were trying to explain how your boss might feel and the reason behind his cold attitude.
Men are odd creatures- they can act like real azzholes sometimes and go back on their word (like how he said he'd come see the baby) Trust me, I work with all men and most of my friends are men, so I know! 
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| Posted 8/9/12 4:30 PM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
to answer your question - Yes, I'd feel hurt. I mean, we are only human!
you did nothing wrong. I'm jealous you get to stay home!
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| Posted 8/9/12 4:42 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
I would feel hurt, but like a PP said maybe he felt blind sided. I swore up and down I was going back to work, then 3 months in decided not to. I asked my boss to meet for lunch so I could tell her on a more personal level.
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| Posted 8/9/12 5:36 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by JennyPenny
On the flip side, maybe he felt sideblinded by you calling up out of nowhere after 11 years and quitting. Maybe you should call him to see if he'd like to have lunch or something before you go.
I agree, he is probably hurt as well.
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| Posted 8/9/12 8:56 PM |
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Chicken92305
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/06 684 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
you have every right to feel hurt..your human and you knew your boss on a personal level and to you, it wasnt "just business" i worked in a daycare for 5 1/2 years was one of the highest paid teachers and one of the strongest workers there. Once i got pregnant with DD i knew financially it didnt make sense to work there. I gave my notice a month in advance and my boss was very cold...she didnt even let my co workers throw me a baby shower.i i was so upset...i worked in a place where we cared for babies and children. it was my turn to have my own! i was a well respected employee and teacher . I know that she didnt want to have to replace me, parents were asking who was stepping in my place once i left and i guess she didnt want to deal with it. i was very very hurt for a long time i felt as if i gave my best 5 1/2 years and i really did expect well wishes once i left. no job is forever or written in stone how long you are obligated to work there for. Its time for you to raise your baby and i think your boss should have said his proper goodbyes no matter how mad or upset he is that you were leaving. he should be thinking of 11 wonderful years you gave him as an employee. i look back at this that it was just business and it definitely is frustrating to us...hard working compassionate women who did everything above and beyond what we had to do at the work place. I know alot of women on here have been giving there opinions and looking at both sides but...in my opinion you have every right to be upset...just try and look at this as one door closed in your life and another opened...which is being home with your child and enjoying every minute of it! 
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| Posted 8/9/12 10:19 PM |
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MrsCampos10-01-10
Jovani Edward is HERE!!!
Member since 10/10 2500 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Am i crazy for feeling a little hurt?
Posted by Bearcat
Posted by alli3131
IMO thats how companies work. Coming and go in my job all have to go through HR. My boss is not supposed to get completely involved. Yes he has a say but it is all handled through HR.
And I would be a bit upset if a long time employee took leave and right before they were to come back called and said sorry I'm not comign back. I know people do it all the time with maternity leave so they can get paid but it for employers it kinda sucks.
This is exactly what I was going to say.
I know if I were the boss, I'd be pissed and not want to speak to the employee. JMHO.
This!
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| Posted 8/9/12 10:29 PM |
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