Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

There are 2 other girls in my department that I talk to quite often. One has a little boy a few months older than my daughter and the other has a little boy that is about a year younger than my daughter.

When we talk about our kids I don't say much about my daughter because one boy is speech delayed and the other child had a stroke in utero and has several physical issues on one side of his body.

Anyways, when we talk about our kids these are the comments that I have heard lately.

I mentioned my daughter's love of Clifford books and the one of the girls said I don't read to my son. Books are only for when I need to get something done so he can look at the pictures.

The other concurs that her son reads to himself.


The same one who's son reads to himself mentioned that during the break that her son just plays with his cars all day on the window and how awful it is to be stuck in the house all day with him.

Neither one will take their children to the park, because of germs. They are only allowed to play with a select group of children. The group has not changed since they were born.


One has her son dropped off every Friday in Queens so that she can go to happy hour and doesn't pick up her son until Saturday afternoon.

This one has a husband that works nights like my husband.

Then one day we were talking about the favorite character that our children have. One knew that her son liked Rafi but that was it the other could not name anything that her son liked. I know what my daughter's favorite characters are.


I am always staying in because my husband is not home. I am always trying to come up with new places to take my daughter and arrange playdates with her. I don't stay in with her all week, when I am home, I try to get her out 4-5 days a week when I am home. When I am working, my daughter and I will go out to dinner once a week and we will play and do things but nothing like when I am off.

We read to her do flash cards with her and try to stimulate her. I just feel like maybe I am doing too much.

I am not judging, but I talk about how I have no time for my friends and that I am so exhausted and that I have a hard time being the teacher that I once was because I am too tired to do all the fancy stuff I used to once my daughter goes to sleep.


But am I doing something wrong? Am I doing too much??? I didn't think I was or doing anything but I can't imagine never taking my daughter to a park or not letting her play with other kids there. They both made me feel like I was nuts for taking her there.

Please be honest. I hope this makes sense.


I am not trying to say that they are bad parents, I know that we have different styles but maybe I am just way off base.

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

No you are not doing anything wrong...different strokes for different folks.. That is how I explain most things people do that I dont understand!

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

They sound lazy and don't want to be bothered with their kids.

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

I commend your parenting style. I don't mean to insult anyone but why have kids if you don't want to really know them and interact with them. As far as teaching goes it is understandable that your own daughter is your priority and will want to do her own thing soon enough.

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

You are definitely doing the right things. Babies need to be exposed to the world....places outside of their homes and different people too. It's too bad that they are sheltering their children from having those experiences.

Keep reading and doing flash cards. How wonderful that you are stimulating your DD! She will be all the better for it in the future. It's too bad that those women aren't being more reflective about what they do. They should be taking pointers from you!

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

sounds like you are a great mommy.. everyone has different parenting syles.. i really just try to stay away from getting involved in other people's parenting.. i would just keep doing what you are doing.. don't ever let them make you feel like you are doing something wrong/

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

everyone's style is different. you are very interactive with you DC, and that's great! try not to worry about what other people are doin g

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

Thank you girls. I try not to judge them, but it seems they are very judgmental of me and seem to want to make me feel bad for the fact that I am not that germ phobic and that as much as I would like to be at happy hour, I feel like I spend enough time away from my daughter and I don't need to go EVERY week. The few times I go a year are more than enough for me.

They really just made me feel stupid for not being more like them. If that works for them I all for it for them but that's not what I want to do with my daughter just don't want to feel bad.

Re: Am I doing something wrong please be honest with your opinions

I thinking what you are doing is fine as mothers we always feel guilt whether it's not doing enough or doing too much