Am I Getting Too Old?

I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this and feeling a bit sad for other reasons today but on top of it all, my DH and I are putting off TTC AGAIN. I am very upset about it but it really is a joint decision due to job changes, health insurance ,etc...we are really talking about putting it off for just a few months but I don't even know if I"ll be able to get pregnant right away, I am going to be 36 very soon and my DH will be 39. We have no children and I am starting to feel like It wil lnever happen and worried about if it does will thebaby have problems, I've been reading so many stories of advancing age increasing many, many problems. I'm kind of kicking myself now for some choices that have led us to this spot but I know in the long run we are doing what is best for us, I just so wish we could start trying but I know we can't. Guess, I"m just venting and feeling the biological clock ticking away, louder and louder each day. Has anyone felt like this?
I lurk on this board and read of others getting pregnant in their late thirties but am just feeling kind of down about the whole thing. Thanks for listening and sorry if this doesn't belong on this board.....

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

Hang in there, I know how you feel. I'm 36, but we are TTC and I feel like every month we don't get PG my chances of getting PG go down.
I had a m/c in July and had to wait 2 cycles, it was torture. I thought, 'I don't have time to wait', it wasn't as bad as I thought though.
A few months off should be ok for you, it's not like your putting it off for a year.
Hopefully the time goes quickly for you.
Good Luck....

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

You're not getting too old! I had my 1st when I was 37 (DH was 41) and my 2nd at 39.

You're only putting off TTC a few months! Just imagine yourself being pg next summer! Good luck!

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

I just put up a post almost identical to this so I emphasize. I am 33 and DH is 38 and I am beginning to wonder if it will EVER happen.

Hang in there.

Sometimes when I am very depressed about this (which is a lot lately) it makes me feel better to know that my waiting has a lot to do with the unconditional love I already have for my unborn children. I already love them so much that I just want the time to be right for them and when it is, they will have the most loving and dedicated parents ever. I feel as if my children already live in my heart, I just haven't had the chance to meet them yet.
Thinking this makes the pain go away a bit.

Hope you feel a bit better.

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

We are both 36 and we started to TTC in July. We were only married in February so TTC was out of the question until after the wedding - after certain wedding and living expenses were paid off and we had a few months to enjoy being newlyweds. Honestly, I was ready and wanted to get moving because of my age and family history but he wasnt. Being on the same page regarding children was too important. I know, through family history and the nature of my work as well as research, the risks involved with being older and TTC. There are more risks. It s ucks but thats just the way it is. HOWEVER in this day and age, the science and technology has proven that many older women have perfectly healthy babies and thats what keeps me from worrying excessively. I know my doctor will do everything in his power to make sure that DH and I can get pregnant and have a big healthy baby just like we were. My mother delivered me at 38 - 9 pounds 8 ounces and relatively normal (I think!)

Your fears and concerns are normal. If I could have chosen to have my children when I wanted to, I certainly would not have chosen to start at age 36. But that is the only choice I have. Good luck and we are here for you.

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

That is definitely not too old. But you should have that conversation about what you would do if you have problems conceiving naturally. Are you open to IUI, IVF Adoption? Getting these conversations out of the way will decrease the time you wait. GL!

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

No you are not too old. I am 37 and DH is 38. We got PG on the second month we TTC. I am now over 10 wk PG.

Hang in there. I would highly recommend getting off BCP though. Find another method. I am not sure if that helped me but I was off the pill for 2.5 years before TTC. We used alternative methods.

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

You are definitely NOT too old. You have to do what is right for you.

I was so afraid we were going to have problems...I'm 36 and we ended up conceiving our 2nd month trying....

You ahve to do what is right for you guys & only when you both truly know you are ready.

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

I just wanted to say good luck

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

This might be easier said than done since you stated some job shifting thus insurance issues...but maybe see your ob/gyn and just have a general "screening" for fertility issues NOW so you know about where you are in a few months. It might help you relax knowing you are healthy as opposed to wondering if you are or aren't.

Yes, many women have a harder time getting pregnant in their late 30s and/or complications linked closely to their age, but with the right knowledge, you can do it and be healthy/healthier. I don't know [personally] very many people in their late 30s to have kids [mainly b/c most of my friends top out in their early 30s], but I do have a friend who had her first at 37 and her second at 39 with no complications at all. So it's possible and feasible. You just have to stay positive.

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

My mom had my sister at 41 years old - after having a m/c the yr before... I'm only mentioning the m/c part because a 40 yr old woman may feel hopeless after trying and having a m/c, but she got pregnant again after a few cycles no problem... I'm 33 now and PG with my 1st - we want another child, I know, but we will have to be older since we can hardly afford the day care and living arrangements for this one plus DH's 2 daughters - he is 43, so neither of us are spring chickens either....

Good luck!!!

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

Not everyone has problems getting pregnant when they are older. I am 39 and am pregnant with baby #1 right now.

My doctor told me that I am very healthy and at least at this point doesn't see any reason for me not to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

Message edited 12/5/2006 1:04:27 PM.

Re: Am I Getting Too Old?

I understand completely. I will be 35 in one month. I had put off trying for five months (went off the pill in May) because of other commitments. So we just started trying a month ago. I do worry that time will pass quickly. Hopefully, we will all be lucky & conceive in a short time. You just never know what life will bring your way. Good luck. You are not too old, as some others have said, some have babies later in their thirties than 36 & even into the 40's.