Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill...update

Okay may be I am crazy but I have a very close friend who is driving me nuts. She made the choice to breastfeed her DS (which I supported her when no one else would). I made the choice not to breastfeed my DS. My DS is a year and some months older than hers. She is always comparing them. MY DS is a daddy's boy. And she throws out the comment "well maybe if you breast fed him". It's all the time and at everything. "Breast fed babies are calmer, Breast fed babies are better eaters."

I need to know if I am getting to angry to quickly or if I should say something.
TIA

Update
Thanks everyone for your support and encouraging words.

Message edited 9/6/2010 10:40:23 PM.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I would punch her


but that's me




Seriously though, I would be irritated to hear that from a "friend"

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Posted by brownie

I would punch her


but that's me




Seriously though, I would be irritated to hear that from a "friend"

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Posted by brownie

I would punch her


but that's me




Seriously though, I would be irritated to hear that from a "friend"

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I'd be annoyed too. I did BF my DD, but I would never judge anyone else's choice, just as I'd hope no one would make those kinds of comments about my choice. If I were you, I'd have to have a talk with her about how we all make our own choices and how as moms we need to support each other & our decisions.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Nope. Having people constantly compare kids would grate on anyone's nerves.

The only difference I've seen between breastfed babies & formula fed babies is how they get their nutrients. One is on tap, the other is not.

Maybe you should ask her where she learned that or is she just going based on her vast knowledge of breastfeeding one child?

The previous poster is right - every child is different. I breastfed both my kids. I can assure you they are just as high maintenance & picky eaters as they come.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I like Brownie's advice.

Your friend is an idiot. I know a LOT of kids - some BF, some FF - and they are all over the map when it comes to behavior, eating, attachment to one parent over the other.

I know one family with 4 kids who were all BF and are all very healthy, calm kids and who are very attached to their mother.

I know another family with 4 kids who were all BF and are not very healthy, not calm at all and are very attached to their father.

BF has nothing to do with it!

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Please don't qoute

I have a friend like that...she was always comparing our two and my DS was 8 months older then her DC (she BFed for 3 months-made sure I knew she was doing such a great thing for her DC, yada yada, i only did it for 2 weeks). My DS was a late walker/early talker, her DC was early with gross motor skills but does not talk a lot. So whenever she would start comparing her son and his motor skills, i would bring up my sons great verbal skills I know tit for tat but it just got to be to much. Now that my DS is 2 and obviously caught up with kids his age with regard to gross motor skills and is still a big talker and knows a lot, her DC is 19 months and still not as verbal as my DS was then, so she has totally stopped comparing. in fact, I feel embarrassed sharing what my DS did at that age/does now b/c I know some of it is early and I don't want to make her feel bad. but that's the difference with us, she didnt care to hurt me they were younger but I don't want to hurt her now

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I hate it when people compare their children. Okay, we all do it sometimes, but keep it to yourself!

At any rate, if she is a good friend in other respects, I would remind her that you supported her choice and you would appreciate the same. You did what was best for you and your child, and you don't need to justify that to anyone, especially a friend.

If not such a good friend, I wouldn't waste too much time with her, seriously.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I have a "friend" like that as well, its a freaking competition meanwhile her child is older than Chels so she would always say oh DS would be doing so and so at that age, things that were honestly developmentally impossible! So the other day she just potty trained her son, he recently turned two, so I shot right back saying "oh wow, that's late, we're already potty training Chels at 8 mos" (obviously we're not) but she was floored and didn't have anything to say...it ANNOYS me to no end, so noooo you are not overreacting!!!

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

That's is so wrong. I can't believe she is saying that. Plus, all kids are different.

My DD was BF and she is a maniac, so your friend doesn't know what she is talking about anyway.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Posted by brownie

I would punch her


but that's me




Seriously though, I would be irritated to hear that from a "friend"

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

Posted by brownie

I would punch her


but that's me




Seriously though, I would be irritated to hear that from a "friend"

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

yes, that's annoying and I BFd DS.

Message edited 9/9/2009 4:49:47 PM.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

You know what? I'd be uber annoyed, but I think you should come out and tell her that you're upset by her remarks. Give her examples of the things she is saying that hurt and bother you. I bet you she doesn't even realize she's hurting you. She's probably just insecure and reassuring herself that SHE'S doing the right thing. I try to give friends the benefit of the doubt because sometimes having a baby can really make you wacky, so bring her back down to earth by letting her know you're upset. I'm sure she'd appreciate you telling her.

Re: Am I making a Mountain Out Of A Mole Hill

I can't stand it when people think THEIR way is the ONLY way.

I didn't breastfeed either of my kids and they have completely opposite temperments. How would she explain that???? BOTH are attached to me at the hip 24/7. Hmmm...and yet, I didn't breastfeed.

Tell your friend to get off her high-horse. You're doing what's best for you and your family. The end.

Message edited 9/9/2009 5:47:17 PM.