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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
So, my husband has a big family and told people to "save the date" for my DD's First Birthday without asking me. I want a small, intimate, immediate family only party for my daughter's first birthday for a few reasons:
1. Our house and yard are very small
2. There is very limited parking and no driveway (we live in Queens)
3. I don't want to spend a ton of money
4. I just want it to be a small celebration. We wil have bigger ones when she is older.
I got bullied into a big wedding because of his family and I don't want to be bullied into having a big party for my DD that I don't want.
Am I being selfish? Can't we just let people know that our house is too small and the party will be immediate family only? DH is telling me its too late because people are already expecting an invite and at least one person has taken the day off from work. I REALLY don't want this party to be big.
Any advice/opinions are appreciated!
TIA
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Posted 5/15/08 9:10 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
I think it's probably too late now and would be really rude if he told them you were having a party and then you turnaround and tell them it's immediate family only. Feelings are bound to be hurt. Maybe you could have it out somewhere like a park and do a BBQ?
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| Posted 5/15/08 9:29 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
is he on the same page? sit down and show him the money situation.
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| Posted 5/15/08 9:30 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
I think you need to have a talk with DH. You two need to be in synch when it comes to this kind of things.
DH would be dead if he made such decisions behind my back. He knows better and asks.
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| Posted 5/15/08 9:33 PM |
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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
Its a problem we've run into before. He has a big mouth and doesn't always think before he speaks. In the past I have always just caved and did what his family wanted, but I am tired of it. I really wanted DD's birthday to be small and intimate and I didn't want to have to worry about planning a lot of things, etc. Sometimes I think he opens his mouth just because then he figures I will cave because I don't want to look "rude". I don't come from a big family and I am tired of every event having to be a huge thing. 
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| Posted 5/15/08 9:39 PM |
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FiR4Grif
LIF Infant
Member since 12/07 103 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
Sorry, but it is DH that you need to have a chat with... and it is far too late to have a chat with his family for this event. Have a serious chat about future events and make sure he discusses things with you before anyone else in the future.
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| Posted 5/15/08 9:39 PM |
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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
So I guess I have to suck it up and have a huge party that I don't want to avoid looking like the bad guy, huh?
Is there any other way to get out of this?
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| Posted 5/15/08 10:18 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
I personally would kill my DH if he did this. He should have spoken to you first so that you could get on the same page!
How old is your DC? How long until their first birthday?
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| Posted 5/15/08 10:27 PM |
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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
First Birthday Party was going to be June 14th. Nothing has been done for it yet (including invites) since I was planning for it to be pretty small and very informal...
Edited to fix spelling...
Message edited 5/15/2008 10:29:54 PM.
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| Posted 5/15/08 10:29 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
Make him do all the arrangements since he told people to "save the date" I bet he thinks before he opens his mouth the next time 
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| Posted 5/15/08 10:32 PM |
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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
The problem with that is that he won't do it and then I will look like the mommy who didn't care enough to plan her own DD's Birthday party. 
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| Posted 5/15/08 10:34 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
Posted by jlp63
So I guess I have to suck it up and have a huge party that I don't want to avoid looking like the bad guy, huh?
Is there any other way to get out of this?
I say do what you want....as you said you were bullied into a big wedding and now look back on it as something that wasn't exactly the way you pictured it....do you really want to look back at DD's 1st b-day the same way? The people should understand and if they don't then they are just being selfish and you shouldn't care what they think anyway. Oh and I would make DH do the explaining to the people he already "invited"
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| Posted 5/15/08 11:26 PM |
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LiveAgain
Listen close....
Member since 8/07 3545 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
I think you should talk to DH and explain how you feel. If you feel that a big party doesn't work for you your husband should understand that because chances are you'll be the one dealing with the stress that comes along with a big party. Don't get bullied into something that you don't want!
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| Posted 5/15/08 11:30 PM |
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jlp63
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/08 871 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Am I wrong? - 1st Birthday Party related
Thank you to everyone for your advice! Me and DH will have to sit down tomorrow and have a talk about how to handle this. We haven't had much time alone all week because DD is sick so we have had my mom and MIL here to help take care of her (we both work FT). Have a great weekend!
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| Posted 5/16/08 10:33 AM |
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