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04bride
I'm a big sister!!!
Member since 5/05 6707 total posts
Name:
Noel
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Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
So for dd i had a decent sized christening party. it was at a local firehouse wirth entertainment, catered food and about 75 people( 100) invited. This time around for various reaons, some being, money and also time and also realizing the big party is more for the parents than the kid and i dont need a big party i am not inviting anyone but immediate family. Now i didnt tell anyone specificallybut as it came up with people i would say listen decided to just have a small family only cheristening etc etc. Everyone understood. So the other day i tell my one friend on email ( it came up about christenings) and she said she understood but still wanted to send a gift, i saiid it was unneccesary and i asked her if she was upset. She said no and left it at that but its hard to tell on email sometiems how a person really feels and also knowing her she says she is not mad and then is and i hate that. anyway so i saw her and our other mutuial friend yesterday. so i was talking to the other friend and i mentioned how i was having a small cheristning. she obviously had heard already from the first friend. i said i dont know if the other friend was upset she says no but i am not convinced. So this other friend says i think its more out of disappointment bc we never really see you guys( they live in suffolk, me in queens) and we were looking forward to it and seeing the kds and also bc we went to your dd's. Now i undersrand all that and i relaize we dont see them that much BUT do you think i am under any obligation to hav a big christenign for my son bc i had it for my dd? Do you think peope have a right to be upset with me??
Sorry so long thanks for reading
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Posted 9/22/08 7:39 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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VickiC
Rocking the party
Member since 5/05 4937 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
I don't think you're under any obligation at all to have a big christening in order to appease people. You do what you can afford and what you feel comfortable with. Honestly, if your friends want to see you or your new son, they can take a trip into Queens to see you. If they can clear their schedule for a Christening, they can clear it for an afternoon.
Personally, I'm happy when friends of ours don't invite us to Christenings.
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| Posted 9/22/08 8:25 AM |
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04bride
I'm a big sister!!!
Member since 5/05 6707 total posts
Name:
Noel
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
Thanks for responding
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| Posted 9/22/08 8:26 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
I didn't have a big christening for my boys, because of $$$$. I decided only to invite immediate family and that was still 60 or so people. We went back and forth about possible inviting our closest friends, but thought that it probably would cause more issues with others so we stuck with only family.
I have been invited to some friends babies christenings and some I have not been. I don't ever feel upset if i am not invited. I totally understand how sometimes invite lists can get out of hand.
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| Posted 9/22/08 9:01 AM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 12/10/2009 2:38:59 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/08 9:12 AM |
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Ladybug63
Ohh... baby
Member since 5/06 2527 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
I think it's nice that she's upset. She's obviously a good friend who wants to spend time with you & your family.
However you are under NO obligation to have a big party like before. We had a small party for dd with just family and close friends (our family isn't big). Everyone understood.
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| Posted 9/22/08 9:13 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
We are doing a very small christening this time around too. The first one was definitely bigger. You are not obligated to do a big party..
Message edited 9/22/2008 9:39:58 AM.
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| Posted 9/22/08 9:39 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
No, you're not obligated to throw a big party but I also think you're worrying too much about your friend's reaction.
As your friend, she's disappointed to not be invited but she wasn't telling you she was upset because I'm sure she understands. I've been in your friend's shoes - I was one of the last of my friends to have kids and I was often not invited when my friends had a big family and needed to cut costs. I always understood even if I was disappointed to not be invited.
You have to do what's best for you! 
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| Posted 9/22/08 9:52 AM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
I think another poster said it best, you have to do what's best for you.
For DS we had a huge party. It was nice and we had a great time but the money we spent was crazy.
When we finally get pregnant with DC#2 we will not be having a party at all. Instead we plan on inviting the godparents, grandparents and our siblings for dinner at a restaurant and then back to our house for cake and coffee.
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| Posted 9/22/08 10:07 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
I think it's fine to have a small party and you don't have to answer to anyone. We just went through the sam ething for DS 2nd bday. If we invited everyone, our list was at over 80. Even if we just did family, it was over 50. We decided to just have a kids party (toddlers only) with only our parents and siblings. We will probably have everyone over for cake and coffee on his actual bday. I know some people were disappointed/insulted, but oh well. I can't sit there and worry about what everyone thinks, and enither should you.
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| Posted 9/22/08 10:26 AM |
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
Posted by VickiC
Personally, I'm happy when friends of ours don't invite us to Christenings.
ITA. If the friend wants to spend time with you invite them over one weekend. You will be able to spend quality time with them.
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| Posted 9/22/08 10:38 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
Honestly for our next DC, I will probably be doing the same thing. I am all "partied" out between DS's big christening and big 1st birthday. Plus I feel bad inviting people like our friends who dont have kids yet b/c then they feel like they have to give a gift...and I would rather them not, KWIM? I just want them there to share that time with us, not for a gift. I think next time around we will do something small also.
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| Posted 9/22/08 10:40 AM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
You do whatever you want to do!!
With this baby I will be having a big party again because it is just too hard to decide who will come and who won't and in the long run will probably cost us more to take everyone out to dinner then it would be to rent a hall. Actually this christening will probably be bigger then last because I didn't have entertainment at Andrew's and this one I will.
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| Posted 9/22/08 11:49 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
No - you do what's good for you -
If they want to see you and the kids, make a point to set a date for them to come over or somrthing .......
at least then, you'll actually get to spend time w/ your friends vs. trying to play hostess at a huge party .......
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| Posted 9/22/08 11:59 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
Keep the party as is and don't feel bad. Then I would contact those friends with a get together idea and set up a time and date to hang out.
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| Posted 9/22/08 12:09 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
I agree with the pp's...you are not under any obligation to have a big party to appease your friends. You have to do what is best for you.
Perhaps if you say to these friends that you understand they want to see you and spend time with you and the kids, but that you are not going to be inviting anyone except family to the Christening. But how about you set up a date that they can come over and we can have a little gtg at your place...besides, they'll get more quality time at lunch/dinner at your place with a small group than they will at a big party where you have to divide your time...
edited for grammar
Message edited 9/22/2008 12:16:39 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/08 12:15 PM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Be honest. Re: small christenign for 2nd babyand not inviting friends....
Posted by nferrandi
I think it's fine to have a small party and you don't have to answer to anyone. We just went through the sam ething for DS 2nd bday. If we invited everyone, our list was at over 80. Even if we just did family, it was over 50. We decided to just have a kids party (toddlers only) with only our parents and siblings. We will probably have everyone over for cake and coffee on his actual bday. I know some people were disappointed/insulted, but oh well. I can't sit there and worry about what everyone thinks, and enither should you.
ITA...
For DS's christening we only invited the grandparents, our siblings, our aunts and uncles and then 5 of our closest friends with kids. My mom wanted me to invite all of our 1st cousins too. We just couldn't do that. It would be like planning a wedding all over again. We wanted something small and simple, as simple as it could be. I have like over 30 1st cousins and then DH has his. I didn't want 200 people at the christening cuz again our goal was to keep it small and simple.
For DS's 1st and 2nd Birthday we cut it even shorter and invited the grandparents, our siblings, and 5 of our closest friends with kids. Birthday parties are all about kids.
You have to do what works for you. If your friend wanted to see you and spend time with you then why does she need to be invited to a christening to do that? Why couldn't she come to see you another day?
Message edited 9/22/2008 12:39:44 PM.
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| Posted 9/22/08 12:38 PM |
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