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An amazing offer...should I consider it?

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Jillybean28
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

1018 total posts

Name:
Jill

An amazing offer...should I consider it?

My difficulties with infertility, simply put, are that I can get pregnant, but I can't keep it. I have miscarried three times and although I am hopeful that the diagnoses and meds will work, I'm still scared.
My cousin Laura is my best friend, a year younger than me and has had two beautiful, healthy children. After thinking about it for a long time and speaking with her husband she offered to be a surrogate. I was shocked. It's an incredible offer and so generous that it overwhelms me. I don't know yet how I feel about it. Would any of you consider this? Please give me feedback, feeling confused.

Posted 10/3/06 11:47 AM
 
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calendargrl
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

1686 total posts

Name:
jan

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

Wow, this surely is an amazing offer and she is an amazing person. If I were you I would definitely consider this. I would also talk to my RE about this as well.

Posted 10/3/06 12:01 PM
 

juju
Welcome to the World!

Member since 5/05

6747 total posts

Name:

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

Wow...that is such a wonderful gesture! Especially, since you mentioned that not only are you cousins but best friends. She seems like a big-hearted person.

I truly believe it is a personal choice and one that needs much thought. I would discuss the pros and cons with DH and maybe do research on forum boards with women who have used surrogates.

Good Luck with your decision!

Posted 10/3/06 12:01 PM
 

BigB
C & J are 10!

Member since 6/05

5914 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

That is amazing! A friend of mine at work offered the same thing! I was stunned. Although I think her offer was amazingly selfless, I think we will try again before we think about this.

My mother also offered. That was a little weird though!

If you ladies can work it out, I say go for it!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 10/3/06 12:05 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

I've seen the pain infertility caused my closest friends and also offered to be a surrogate or an egg donor if they needed.

I agree it's something to discuss with your doctor but also with an attorney. Some states don't allow surrogacy. Obviously there are ways around it. It entails a roller coaster of emotions having someone else carry your child. I would suggest looking into some support groups if you do decide to go this route.

I know it gave both of my friends peace of mind knowing they had the option if they wanted. In the end one was able to stay pregnant with medical intervention and has two Chat Icon Chat Icon . My other friend adopted her Chat Icon domestically. My closest friend still has the option available if she chooses that route.Chat Icon

Good luck!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon whichever way you decide!

Posted 10/3/06 12:30 PM
 

lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings

Member since 3/06

6551 total posts

Name:
L

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

WOW.... This is an amazing offer, and certainly wonderful to have in the back of your mind. I can't even imagine how emotional it all would be , but any and all options are always nice to have...GOOD LUCK with everything!Chat Icon

Posted 10/3/06 12:50 PM
 

karacg
Babygirl is 4!

Member since 5/05

17076 total posts

Name:
Kara®

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

It is a wonderful and generous offer. As others mentioned, talk to your RE, do some research (as I am sure you are), find out the legal ramifications...but it is great to know you have that option.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 10/3/06 2:02 PM
 

Red
spring is in the air

Member since 11/05

2688 total posts

Name:
helen

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

I have no idea how I would react, other than to be most honored to have been offered

Posted 10/3/06 2:03 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

WOW, thats a great person. A friend of mine recently sat me down to offer to be an egg donor for me and I was floored and so truly touched.

Honestly I would consider it, but down the line a little more.

I think you still have some treatment options to consider, and take it accoutn what the Dr's say your chances are and age and then really think about it.

Are you in NY? Because I thought ( correct me if Im worng someone) Surrogcay was illegal in NY?

But Im sure where theres a will theres a way.

Good luck to you whatever you choose!

Posted 10/3/06 3:31 PM
 

LisaW
Time for me to FLY!

Member since 5/05

13199 total posts

Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

Posted by dm24angel
and age and then really think about it.

Are you in NY? Because I thought ( correct me if Im worng someone) Surrogcay was illegal in NY?



I think its ok if its a family member...

I also had an offer of this recently. I was so touched...I bawled my eyes out.

I just feel like I am not ready to go there yet.

Posted 10/3/06 3:33 PM
 

lisan1025
LIF Infant

Member since 1/06

185 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: An amazing offer...should I consider it?

My sister (9 years younger) who just had a baby 10 months ago offered me the same thing. Its a VERY HARD decision to make. Good Luck making the right one!

Posted 10/3/06 7:51 PM
 
 

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