1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Anger Management
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need
to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you
know. Take it out on someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd
forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man
answered, saying "Hello."
I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with
Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right
fuc*ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I
couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked
down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had
accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong'
number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
"You're an !" and hung up. I wrote his number down with
the word ''a$$hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every
couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell, "You're an a$$hole !"
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic
'a$$hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and
said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telstra. I'm calling to see
if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He
yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an a$$hole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a
parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled
into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled
that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I
noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down
his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first a$$hole
( I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better
call the BMW a$$hole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the
black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked.
"Yes, I live on 34 Mowbray Blvd, in Vaucluse.
It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in
front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is
Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can
I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an
a$$hole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I
came up with an idea. I called a$$hole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an a$$hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you
live?" "a$$hole, I live at 34 Mowbray Blvd,
Vaucluse, a yellow house, with my black Beamer parked in
front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And
you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah,
like I'm really scared, a$$hole," and hung up.
Then I called a$$hole #2. "Hello?" he said.
"Hello, a$$hole ," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." "You'll
what?" I said."I'll kick your azz," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, a$$hole, here's your chance. I'm
coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that
I lived at 34 Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse, and that I was on my way
over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News
about the gang war going down in Mowbray Blvd, Vaucluse.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Mowbray. I got
there just in time to watch two azzholes beating the crap out
of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead police
helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works
Message edited 8/9/2008 10:38:44 AM.
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