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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Another "not to judge"....
I saw something in Central Park on Saturday that I was a little taken aback by.
There was a nanny holding a baby, sitting on a bench. The baby was sooooo teeny tiny, I asked how old he was. He was less than two weeks. And there he was with a nanny, on a beautiful Saturday morning.
As much as I want to give the parents the benefit of the doubt, I thought that was pretty pathetic.
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Posted 6/24/10 1:52 PM  |
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BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Why? Maybe they work? Maybe he works and the mom is recovering?
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| Posted 6/24/10 1:53 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I think I'd just assume that the family was wealthy enough to hire a nanny, the dad was at work, and the mom was taking a well-deserved nap 
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| Posted 6/24/10 1:54 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
wow. I needed lots of help a couple of weeks ago when I was recovering from my c-section. Hopefully you weren't judging me when my mom had both my 2 week old and 4 year old at the park so I could rest
Message edited 6/24/2010 1:56:29 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 1:56 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Isnt this post a "too judge"
My mom came and stayed with me for over a week. Sometimes I would nap and my mom would take him out for a walk or whatever so I could get some rest.
I dont think its pathetic if a parent doesnt spend every waking moment of their day with their child. Maybe she had a really rough delivery and wanted her baby to enjoy the beautiful day but she was still recovering, maybe she had complications and was still in the hospital, and the husband was with her? There are a lot of maybes that could be, before you call people pathetic.
I dont know, I dont see the big deal.
Message edited 6/24/2010 2:00:02 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 1:57 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I worked for some people in Hollywood, who gave their child over to the nanny the second day they came home and the wife went back to work with in a week, by choice.
I thought it was strange, but they were strange people as many people are in Entertainment.
Who knows though, this mom just might have needed a break.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:00 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I don't know. I understand that they clearly could afford the nanny, but what ever happened to bonding with a newborn? It was such a nice day to be walking in the park... when our first son was born, it was springtime and DH and I loved to take him on walks together.
I guess it just seemed like a page out of the "Nanny Diaries" book, very stereotypical, kwim?
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:00 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
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MJ
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Not a parent...but I don't see why this is so "pathetic"?
Because a baby that young should be home with a mom? Well perhaps there 2098230938 different reasons that no one knows about...as long as the baby is being cared for, what's pathetic about it?
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:01 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by computergirl
I don't know. I understand that they clearly could afford the nanny, but what ever happened to bonding with a newborn? It was such a nice day to be walking in the park... when our first son was born, it was springtime and DH and I loved to take him on walks together.
I guess it just seemed like a page out of the "Nanny Diaries" book, very stereotypical, kwim?
But you saw a 5 minute view into the babies day, who knows what was going on the other 23 hours 55 minutes?
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:02 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Can I ask how you knew it was a nanny?
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:03 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by eddiesmommy
Posted by computergirl
I don't know. I understand that they clearly could afford the nanny, but what ever happened to bonding with a newborn? It was such a nice day to be walking in the park... when our first son was born, it was springtime and DH and I loved to take him on walks together.
I guess it just seemed like a page out of the "Nanny Diaries" book, very stereotypical, kwim?
But you saw a 5 minute view into the babies day, who knows what was going on the other 23 hours 55 minutes?
exactly. and 4 weeks postpartum I still cannot take walks bc it hurts. guess I just don't care to bond with my child
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:04 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by hazeleyes33
Can I ask how you knew it was a nanny?
Well she was black with a Caribbean accent, and the baby was white as snow with pale hair. In Manhattan especially where nannies are really common, I thought I was making a pretty safe guess.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:04 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
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Melissa
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
not to mention, just bc you did, doesnt mean everyone has this instant connection, this need to be with their newborn all of the time, this need to bond. Some of us have harder times with it and need to slowly come around and adjust. I think its SO judgmental to call someone you dont know and their situation pathetic when you dont know the details. Sorry, youve hit a nerve with me.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:09 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by computergirl
Posted by hazeleyes33
Can I ask how you knew it was a nanny?
Well she was black with a Caribbean accent, and the baby was white as snow with pale hair. In Manhattan especially where nannies are really common, I thought I was making a pretty safe guess.
Wow- safe guess maybe but definately profiling if you ask me My skin is not all that pale and I have dark hair. My DD is white as snow with white blond hair. If you saw us together, would you assume I was her Nanny?
OH, and I on the older side for being a mom- maybe I could be her grandma?
My point being is that you have no idea who this person is to this child. And honestly, who has the time to care?
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:10 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
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me
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
So many reasons:
- mom taking a nap
- mom has other kids that she had to take care of business with them.
- mom had other obligations and could not take NB with her.
- guests at home and having to entertain them for a while.
Unless you know the actual circumstances, I am not sure why you are judging on a short moment.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:11 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by eddiesmommy
not to mention, just bc you did, doesnt mean everyone has this instant connection, this need to be with their newborn all of the time, this need to bond. Some of us have harder times with it and need to slowly come around and adjust. I think its SO judgmental to call someone you dont know and their situation pathetic when you dont know the details. Sorry, youve hit a nerve with me.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit a nerve. I admitted it was judgmental of me, but let's face it, we all see things (not kinowing the whole backstory) everyday and make snap judgments. It's human nature.
I'm sure I do things as a mom every day that other people might look at disdainfully. And that's ok too. I was just offering my sole opinion on something I saw. It's good to see different takes on it that I didn't initially think of (like a tough c-sec recovery) but definitely don't want to start drama or anything.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:13 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by computergirl
Posted by hazeleyes33
Can I ask how you knew it was a nanny?
Well she was black with a Caribbean accent, and the baby was white as snow with pale hair. In Manhattan especially where nannies are really common, I thought I was making a pretty safe guess.
Gotcha. 
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:15 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Maybe it was a baby nurse???? Aren't those generally hired for NBs??
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:17 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I don't think the OP was trying to start drama. She was just posting a thought. 
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:17 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by CkGm
Posted by computergirl
Posted by hazeleyes33
Can I ask how you knew it was a nanny?
Well she was black with a Caribbean accent, and the baby was white as snow with pale hair. In Manhattan especially where nannies are really common, I thought I was making a pretty safe guess.
Wow- safe guess maybe but definately profiling if you ask me My skin is not all that pale and I have dark hair. My DD is white as snow with white blond hair. If you saw us together, would you assume I was her Nanny?
OH, and I on the older side for being a mom- maybe I could be her grandma?
My point being is that you have no idea who this person is to this child. And honestly, who has the time to care?
Oh, come on - She's not 'profiling' -  I think you're really reaching on that point ........
And let's be honest, while the Mom may just be home recovering, chances are, in the middle of Central Park, (not the burbs of LI) that baby probably belongs to an UES Trust Fund Mommy who's day to day life is completely different from our 'normal' ..........HER normal is leaving the baby w/ the Nanny most of the day for whatever reason .......I don't think it's wrong, or pathetic ..........but everyone comparing THEY're own 'what ifs' and 'would you judge me's' is a little silly -
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:18 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Maybe Mommy was up all night with sweet little baby and was taking a much needed nap? Or maybe Mommy has other children who need some quality alone-time with Mommy while the nanny can tend to the baby? Or maybe Mommy went through a traumatic delivery and is still recovering?
So quick to judge... such a shame...
Message edited 6/24/2010 2:20:07 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:19 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I dont think its silly to call another parent pathetic. I think its sad.
Message edited 6/24/2010 2:21:53 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:21 PM |
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LeShellem
A new beginning
Member since 2/07 3600 total posts
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LeShelle
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by computergirl
Posted by hazeleyes33
Can I ask how you knew it was a nanny?
Well she was black with a Caribbean accent, and the baby was white as snow with pale hair. In Manhattan especially where nannies are really common, I thought I was making a pretty safe guess.
Take a look at DS. I am African American and as dark as they come. DS is very, very light and at two weeks old he was "white". Could have very well been her child.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:23 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Why do you think it was pathetic?
So the parents have a nanny, and the nanny took the baby to maybe give the new parents a break? Big deal....
I had a baby nurse from the time DD was 3 weeks old until she was 6 weeks old... plan on doing the same this time around but keeping the baby nurse on until the baby is 12 weeks.
Judge me all you want... I'll take whatever help is being offered to me.
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:25 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
my mom took my kids out for a walk right when we got home from the hospital so i could rest or do stuff around the house. plus SHE wanted to bond with the babies as well!
i don't see what there is to judge here. why is it anyone's business who my kids are with? my mom brings both my kids to the park every week--i'd love to confront anyone who would ever judge her, or me for having to work.
i just don't get this post
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| Posted 6/24/10 2:28 PM |
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