| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 >> |
GottaHaveFaith
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1443 total posts
Name:
Kelly
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Wow, as a soon to be 1st time mom in less than 6 weeks...I sure hope to God no one judges me or my mom or MIL or one of my 3 sisters when they have the baby out walking or sitting in the park across the street from my house so that maybe I can get some rest or do stuff around the house! People seriously need to mind their own business when it comes to other people's children, unless the child is about to cause serious harm to him/herself, or someone else, we need to keep our judgments and comments to ourselves! To call another parent that you have NO idea what situation they are in "pathetic" is absolutely "pathetic"!!!!
|
Posted 6/24/10 3:52 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
|
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Different strokes for different folks! Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't make it WRONG
|
| Posted 6/24/10 3:55 PM |
| |
|
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Janice
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Janice
I will say it, I would have judged.
2 weeks is really young to be out with a nanny. I can see someone napping and a nanny at home with the baby.
But I have also met a ton of nannies while being a sahm, good bad and ugly.
2 weeks old, I was nursing a lot, making sure my baby was comfortable. The baby was not out at a park with a non family member.
But again, yiou're judging based on YOUR lifestyle and what you know and how you choose to raise/care for your children - There is a whole world out there of people who do things very differently, and that is THEIR 'normal'
yes, I am aware of that.
But, I would have walked away saying I wonder where the hell the baby's mother is. And that is the truth.
I'm with you Janice. I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member. Even tho my mom helped me out when I had my 2nd child and that consisted of taking care of my older child and the household things not the baby, but that's just me.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 3:56 PM |
| |
|
Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by Janice
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Janice
I will say it, I would have judged.
2 weeks is really young to be out with a nanny. I can see someone napping and a nanny at home with the baby.
But I have also met a ton of nannies while being a sahm, good bad and ugly.
2 weeks old, I was nursing a lot, making sure my baby was comfortable. The baby was not out at a park with a non family member.
But again, yiou're judging based on YOUR lifestyle and what you know and how you choose to raise/care for your children - There is a whole world out there of people who do things very differently, and that is THEIR 'normal'
yes, I am aware of that.
But, I would have walked away saying I wonder where the hell the baby's mother is. And that is the truth.
I'm with you Janice. I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member. Even tho my mom helped me out when I had my 2nd child and that consisted of taking care of my older child and the household things not the baby, but that's just me.
You don't have to justify yourself, but I'm curious - why does it matter if it's a nanny or grandmother? Some people don't have family around that can do that for them. Why shouldn't they have the same "perks" because they don't have family there? Because they can afford to pay someone?
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:04 PM |
| |
|
JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by headoverheels
I think I'd just assume that the family was wealthy enough to hire a nanny, the dad was at work, and the mom was taking a well-deserved nap 
yep--or maybe with her 3 yr old???
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:05 PM |
| |
|
cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
My baby was born in December, and it was pretty cold right after his birth, so he wasn't out much. And my mother came to stay and help me out. I really needed her too--I was not in great shape the first few weeks after he was born, physically or mentally. Walking more than a few blocks really drained me--it just wouldn't have been possible.
It's hard to say that the mother is being negligent. Maybe she is ill, recovering, or died during the delivery for all we know. The latter is a bit extreme, but could happen. And yes, she could be a socialite out lunching with her friends or back at work already, seems very early, but some people do have to go back fast. Or she may have an older child she is home bonding with.
I don't find this scenario so shocking or awful, and I'm kind of amazed at the judgements posted. It is entirely possible that the baby is better off with the nanny for the time being, for whatever reason. Doesn't mean his mother doesn't care about him.
Message edited 6/24/2010 4:19:29 PM.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:16 PM |
| |
|
kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Well this post sure was the hit of the day...
While I do not necessarily agree with the OP (as I do not see a problem with a 2 week old being out as long as the baby is secure and to be honest I couldn't see myself ever analyzing the parents that much to even care)...
I do agree with one of the comments made earlier..
It would be interesting to see how everyones reaction would have changed if the post had some sort of negative impact on the child (i.e. child gets severy ill from being out in public with nanny) or..child gets kidnapped...
would be an interesting study to see how peoples tones change from attacking the OP to going "where the heck is the mother" ...or if it would have gone that way
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:19 PM |
| |
|
4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
maybe that little girl was adopted by this woman?
who the hell knows? or cares. . .I would've never thought it was weird b/c I would've never thought like that. This post is just odd
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:20 PM |
| |
|
kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by cjik
My baby was born in December, and it was pretty cold right after his birth, so he wasn't out much. And my mother came to stay and help me out. I really needed her too--I was not in great shape the first few weeks after he was born, physically or mentally. Walking more than a few blocks really drained me--it just wouldn't have been possible.
It's hard to say that the mother is being negligent. Maybe she is ill, recovering, or died during the delivery for all we know. The latter is a bit extreme, but could happen. And yes, she could be a socialite out lunching with her friends or back at work already, seems very early, but some people do have to go back fast. Or she may have an older child she is home bonding with.
I don't find this scenario so shocking or awful, and I'm kind of amazed at the judgements posted. It is entirely possible that the baby is better off with the nanny for the time being, for whatever reason. Doesn't mean his mother doesn't care about him.
As a side note...maybe the baby was adopted and it was the mother all along!!! I mean think about how many inter-racial adoptions there are now-a-days! I would be moritified if people judged me for taking care of my own baby just because I adopted.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:20 PM |
| |
|
4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by kokomo181
As a side note...maybe the baby was adopted and it was the mother all along!!! I mean think about how many inter-racial adoptions there are now-a-days! I would be moritified if people judged me for taking care of my own baby just because I adopted.
WOW, we just posted the same thing at the same time
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:22 PM |
| |
|
kokomo181
LIF Toddler
Member since 9/09 496 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by kokomo181
As a side note...maybe the baby was adopted and it was the mother all along!!! I mean think about how many inter-racial adoptions there are now-a-days! I would be moritified if people judged me for taking care of my own baby just because I adopted.
WOW, we just posted the same thing at the same time
Great minds think alike! i am surprised no one else brought this up before us!
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:23 PM |
| |
|
4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by kokomo181
Great minds think alike! i am surprised no one else brought this up before us!
 right? that was my first thought!
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:24 PM |
| |
|
cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by kokomo181
Posted by DPerotti
Posted by kokomo181
As a side note...maybe the baby was adopted and it was the mother all along!!! I mean think about how many inter-racial adoptions there are now-a-days! I would be moritified if people judged me for taking care of my own baby just because I adopted.
WOW, we just posted the same thing at the same time
Great minds think alike! i am surprised no one else brought this up before us!
I was actually thinking this as well at one point. My nephew is adopted--both parents are white, he is part African-American, part Latino. Looks nothing like them. I sure hope no one is judging my sister and BIL!
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:29 PM |
| |
|
mamaesq
LIF Infant
Member since 9/08 91 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Janice
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Janice
I will say it, I would have judged.
2 weeks is really young to be out with a nanny. I can see someone napping and a nanny at home with the baby.
But I have also met a ton of nannies while being a sahm, good bad and ugly.
2 weeks old, I was nursing a lot, making sure my baby was comfortable. The baby was not out at a park with a non family member.
Ok, I get it, not something you would personally do, but there are quite a few parents out there who would - I don't see the reason behind the judgment - different people do different things - no one is getting hurt, no one is neglected, it's just different parenting perspectives. Doing one, as opposed to the other, doesn't make anyone a better parent and certainly doesn't justify judgment of the other.
These kind of judgment posts, in my opinion, speak more of the poster's own insecurities than anything else...
Insecurities regarding what?
Staying at home with your baby?
I was out at church with my son 5 days after csection, baby was at home with DH.
I was in classes with my son 7 days after csection, baby was at home...not in a park.
I have a feeling that if this story read "Nanny abducted 2 week old from Central Park" people would say where the hell was the mother??
"2 week old suffocated in stroller at central park with nanny"
people would say OMG, where was the mother??
Insecurities about yourself and your own choices. That's the only justification I can think for a person to think that their own way must be the "right" way, and to judge others who may have differing parenting styles and choices that are neither more or less harmful to their children.
ITA! In fact, judging other people (especially about their mothering speaks to their own questions about the choices they made) in fact I do recall many posts from the OP judging working mothers as well -so I guess if any mother takes a break from a child at 2 weeks old they are a bad mother too.... Its just ridiculous to make any assumption when you have NO idea where the mother is. Was the baby alone in the park? Nope. Probally cared for by a very competent nanny...so good for that mother who is getting some rest!
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:33 PM |
| |
|
Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
My first thought was that the mom is probably recovering from delivery.
I didn't have a nanny but I had a ton of help the first month.
Everyone I know gets help in the beginning. In our circles, it's usually a baby nurse and/or family.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:39 PM |
| |
|
ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Here's another thought that may make people not jump to conclusions.....ever consider that the mother died in childbirth or from complications with birth?
Why would you judge a situation you know nothing about? That is "pathetic".
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:43 PM |
| |
|
randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
It was either a baby nurse (which I had for 2 weeks when I came home from the hospital), or the parents had a nanny for an older child and the parents were with the older child.
I delivered in Feb, so my baby nurse wasn't taking Sasha for a walk-- but DH and I got out and went for a walk. If the weather would have been nicer-- I am sure the nurse would have taken her for some fresh air while I took a nap-- my nurse said she did that all the time with other families when the weather was nice.
Alternatively, the nanny could have been doing the same while the parents spent some quality time with the older sibling.
I definitely don't think it's a bit much... For all we know the mom HAD to work and be somewhere else.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:45 PM |
| |
|
Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by ddunne2
Here's another thought that may make people not jump to conclusions.....ever consider that the mother died in childbirth or from complications with birth?
Why would you judge a situation you know nothing about? That is "pathetic".
It happened to a family in our school. Mother died in childbirth. Father was left with a 2 year old and a newborn to tend to. He hired a nanny. She took the newborn EVERYWHERE while the family was grieving and making sense of what happened. It wasn't, and still isn't, unusual to see the nanny alone with the baby when she was 2 weeks old, 1 year old, and now, at 3 years old.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:49 PM |
| |
|
Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
My first thought, mom's spending some quality time with older child(ren)
My second thought, what a misleading title on this post
That's the only beef I have here, we can go hog wild imagining possible scenarios, oozing judgement on the mother you describe, or YOU (the OP) or anyone who put in their $0.02. But the purpose of this thread/OP was EXPLICITLY to judge the mom, no?
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:54 PM |
| |
|
2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by eddiesmommy
Posted by computergirl
I don't know. I understand that they clearly could afford the nanny, but what ever happened to bonding with a newborn? It was such a nice day to be walking in the park... when our first son was born, it was springtime and DH and I loved to take him on walks together.
I guess it just seemed like a page out of the "Nanny Diaries" book, very stereotypical, kwim?
But you saw a 5 minute view into the babies day, who knows what was going on the other 23 hours 55 minutes?
I agree. What if the parents have somewhere important to go?
|
| Posted 6/24/10 4:59 PM |
| |
|
jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
i agree there could have been a very good explaination for the situation but im not going to lie I would have judged and questioned the situation. Later, I would have probably thought of all the possibilities stated.
|
| Posted 6/24/10 5:01 PM |
| |
|
KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
why is it anyone's business? also would you have posted this if it had been a mom out with the same baby??? I'm sorry but I'm really confused by this thread
Oh and I used to live and work in Manhattan (mid/upper East side 3rd ave ,park ave) for a very long time, I knew/have met some Asian or black moms , some with accents with VERY WHITE children.
I also worked as a nanny in Manhattan for years and I have had parents ask me to take their 2-3 week old babies "out" to CP. I even had a mom who asked me to take her 7 day old baby to the first check up , she didn't want to come bc she had an appointment for a facial.
You never know in NYC 
|
| Posted 6/24/10 5:03 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
I see nothing pathetic about this scenario at all.....
Am I missing something?
The baby was out with a nanny and that's pathetic?
|
| Posted 6/24/10 5:03 PM |
| |
|
KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
I have to say that IMO ( ) this is GOOD parenting. WHATEVER the scenario is. Most people don't leave their kids with people they don't trust as a nanny, sooo....whats wrong with it?
|
| Posted 6/24/10 5:05 PM |
| |
|
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
|
Re: Another "not to judge"....
I too had a baby nurse who took my DS out for walks within the 2 weeks she was with my family so I could get a little rest and recover from my c-section. When I had DS2, she even took my (then) 2yo with her!
|
| Posted 6/24/10 5:19 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 6 >> |
