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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
A friend of mine from high school had a nurse stay with her in the city right after the birth of her son...her husband had left her, terrible situation and she needed help recovering. I know the nanny/nurse walked him all over the city to help out while she recovered from her c-section.
And I also know that this friend has friends that are wealthy and they all use nannies/nurses from day 1. It's just what they do. The lifestyle is waaaay different than mine, and I will admit..when she tells me how these girls have nannies and nurses do EVERYTHING for her I do judge a bit. I judge because I think to myself "Wow, they are missing out on all those great moments, i couldn't do that..".
BUT in this particular situation i wouldn't have really thought about it...the baby is being well taken care of, they are enjoying the day and mom is prob recovering and getting some sleep..thats what i would have thought.
And like someone else stated before...who knows HOW much time the parents spend with their baby...it could be all day long as far as we know and they needed one hour to get something done. Who knows.
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Posted 6/24/10 5:55 PM  |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
there are so many "what if's" that I do not think any judgement should be passed in this situation
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| Posted 6/24/10 6:14 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
When my daughter was born, my sister came to visit. Lily was about 1 week old and my sister took care of her while my husband and I went out and got a little relaxation. During that time, my sister took the baby for a walk in the stroller.....it was a lovely day.
By your standards, that makes me pathetic?
Odd.
To judge is human, to post your judgements on a public forum is rude.
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| Posted 6/24/10 6:14 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Palebride
To judge is human, to post your judgements on a public forum is rude.
BEST PHRASE EVER, I completely aree
kind of like I say "yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but you do not always need to say it out loud"
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| Posted 6/24/10 6:39 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
As others have said, it was most likely a baby nurse and most likely either the mother was still recovering or spending time with an older child. I would have seen absolutely nothing odd about this situation.
ETA: Also dont see anything wrong with getting a newborn some fresh air (nor does my ped)...
Message edited 6/24/2010 6:54:44 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 6:53 PM |
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member.
And what diagnostic super power is it that you're using to know if it's a grandmother or other family member?? (Think interracial marriages, step-parents, etc.)
I just don't get it....For me, regardless of whether the child was with a family member or a nanny, it was someone the parents entrusted the care of their child to. Perhaps because they were wealthy enough to do so, perhaps because they don't have any family around so they needed help for when the mother/father need a break, or have a doctor's check-up appointment....As long as the child is safe and happy, it isn't my place to judge WHO took them for a walk...
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| Posted 6/24/10 7:07 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I took my 2 week old to a casino. Go ahead flame away
Not a soul who saw me knew why.....
Message edited 6/24/2010 7:51:41 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 7:39 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Merf99
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by Janice
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Janice
I will say it, I would have judged.
2 weeks is really young to be out with a nanny. I can see someone napping and a nanny at home with the baby.
But I have also met a ton of nannies while being a sahm, good bad and ugly.
2 weeks old, I was nursing a lot, making sure my baby was comfortable. The baby was not out at a park with a non family member.
But again, yiou're judging based on YOUR lifestyle and what you know and how you choose to raise/care for your children - There is a whole world out there of people who do things very differently, and that is THEIR 'normal'
yes, I am aware of that.
But, I would have walked away saying I wonder where the hell the baby's mother is. And that is the truth.
I'm with you Janice. I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member. Even tho my mom helped me out when I had my 2nd child and that consisted of taking care of my older child and the household things not the baby, but that's just me.
You don't have to justify yourself, but I'm curious - why does it matter if it's a nanny or grandmother? Some people don't have family around that can do that for them. Why shouldn't they have the same "perks" because they don't have family there? Because they can afford to pay someone?
Because I think a grandmother or family member would have a closer bond and love that baby more than a nanny. Its just my opinion, I'm not saying that makes it right. I would also not say the family was pathetic, but I'd probably look at the situation and feel the baby (at 2 wks old) should be with its mom. Yes, that has everything to do with how I was raised, how I am raising my kids and what I know. I didn't want to miss out on one single second of my newborns first experiences in this world.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:13 PM |
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stickydust
Now a mommy of 2!!!
Member since 4/06 3164 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I find it completely ridiculous that anyone would judge these scenarios - why does ANYONE care? Fine, it is not how you would do it but what makes anyone think that THEIR way is in fact the correct way of doing things.
After I delivered DD I ended up having to go back in the hospital due to HELLP syndrome. I was on magnesium sulfate and could barely hold DD - I did very little mothering during that time. I was very sick and it was just not possible. I know some of you had "perfect" L&D moments but not everyone does.
Maybe the mom has PPD, other kids, a complicated c-section...there could be a world of other things.
I adore my children, would absolutely lay my life down for them - yet, I never felt the need to know how many times they burped etc. I have never had a nanny but I am sure that if those parents hired her theuy trust her to know when to burp, feed, change said child.
Geesh...it must be nice to not have anything else to think about than what other people do with their kids...
Message edited 6/24/2010 8:14:27 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:13 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by FrankiesGirl107
Posted by MaMaTeenie
I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member.
And what diagnostic super power is it that you're using to know if it's a grandmother or other family member?? (Think interracial marriages, step-parents, etc.)
I just don't get it....For me, regardless of whether the child was with a family member or a nanny, it was someone the parents entrusted the care of their child to. Perhaps because they were wealthy enough to do so, perhaps because they don't have any family around so they needed help for when the mother/father need a break, or have a doctor's check-up appointment....As long as the child is safe and happy, it isn't my place to judge WHO took them for a walk...
Really??? "diagnostic super power"  its this kind of comment that makes an adult discussion go south on this board! The OP said nanny (or at least that's what I remembered), so I assumed she knew it was a nanny!
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:16 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by FrankiesGirl107
Posted by MaMaTeenie
I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member.
And what diagnostic super power is it that you're using to know if it's a grandmother or other family member?? (Think interracial marriages, step-parents, etc.)
I just don't get it....For me, regardless of whether the child was with a family member or a nanny, it was someone the parents entrusted the care of their child to. Perhaps because they were wealthy enough to do so, perhaps because they don't have any family around so they needed help for when the mother/father need a break, or have a doctor's check-up appointment....As long as the child is safe and happy, it isn't my place to judge WHO took them for a walk...
Really??? "diagnostic super power" its this kind of comment that makes an adult discussion go south on this board! The OP said nanny (or at least that's what I remembered), so I assumed she knew it was a nanny!
She said nanny because the woman was black and seemed to be from the Caribbeean. So she assumed it was a nanny.
But regardless.... the comment that turned the discussion south was that she called the parents pathetic.....
Nothing pathetic about the scenerio she described.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:20 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MrsRbk
Nothing pathetic about the scenerio she described.
agreed, i missed pathetic. I would not have thought it was pathetic
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:22 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Janice
Posted by MrsRbk
Nothing pathetic about the scenerio she described.
agreed, i missed pathetic. I would not have thought it was pathetic
I didn't say it was pathetic, I said I agreed that I would have thought hmmmm, I'd think it odd for a 2 week old to be with the nanny.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:25 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by Janice
Posted by MrsRbk
Nothing pathetic about the scenerio she described.
agreed, i missed pathetic. I would not have thought it was pathetic
I didn't say it was pathetic, I said I agreed that I would have thought hmmmm, I'd think it odd for a 2 week old to be with the nanny.
no, not you, it was in OP.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:26 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MrsRbk
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by FrankiesGirl107
Posted by MaMaTeenie
I would have been thinking the same thing and for me it would have been a different story if the baby were with a grandmother or other family member.
And what diagnostic super power is it that you're using to know if it's a grandmother or other family member?? (Think interracial marriages, step-parents, etc.)
I just don't get it....For me, regardless of whether the child was with a family member or a nanny, it was someone the parents entrusted the care of their child to. Perhaps because they were wealthy enough to do so, perhaps because they don't have any family around so they needed help for when the mother/father need a break, or have a doctor's check-up appointment....As long as the child is safe and happy, it isn't my place to judge WHO took them for a walk...
Really??? "diagnostic super power" its this kind of comment that makes an adult discussion go south on this board! The OP said nanny (or at least that's what I remembered), so I assumed she knew it was a nanny!
She said nanny because the woman was black and seemed to be from the Caribbeean. So she assumed it was a nanny.
But regardless.... the comment that turned the discussion south was that she called the parents pathetic.....
Nothing pathetic about the scenerio she described.
I think the OP can say what she wants, think what she wants, if she isn't saying it about me I'm not going to crucify (I don't mean to say you are doing that either)her for her feelings. Feelings are our own and no one can tell you they are wrong. IMO what turns an adult conversation ugly is sarcasm (amoung other things). I said nanny b/c the OP said nanny, not because I have some kind of "diagnostic super power" OBVIOUSLY.
Eta: my only super powers these days are getting out of the house on time and not peeing my pants when I sneeze
Message edited 6/24/2010 8:36:13 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:30 PM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I can't say for sure that I would have spoken to the woman to know that she was a nanny or that the baby was only 2 weeks...so if I saw them in the park I would have assumed a mother and her child.
Knowing that she is the nanny...my first thought was that maybe it was a gay couple that had the nanny and both guys were at work...maybe she was the biological mom but was keeping her role separate....see where I am going with this? So many what-ifs but the real deal is...so what.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:35 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
To Janice....congratulations on being at Church with your baby when your son was 5 weeks old. That's awesome, really. And you were in classes 7 days after a c-section WITH your child? Unbelievable!!!! Are you Super Woman? I wish I could be like you!!!
I picked my nose by myself after a C-Section when DD was 1 day old! I didn't think I could do it, but I have learned that a new mom can accomplish absolutely anything without any help if we put our minds to it!
You would take a look at the outfit the kid was wearing and diaper bag that was being used? I'm no expert but your posts scream JEALOUSY!!!!!!!
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:37 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by johnsae
To Janice....congratulations on being at Church with your baby when your son was 5 weeks old. That's awesome, really. And you were in classes 7 days after a c-section WITH your child? Unbelievable!!!! Are you Super Woman? I wish I could be like you!!!
I picked my nose by myself after a C-Section when DD was 1 day old! I didn't think I could do it, but I have learned that a new mom can accomplish absolutely anything without any help if we put our minds to it!
You would take a look at the outfit the kid was wearing and diaper bag that was being used? I'm no expert but your posts scream JEALOUSY!!!!!!!
That's not fair.....
I might not agree with someone, but an attack like that isn't necessary
Message edited 6/24/2010 8:40:26 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:39 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
. IMO what turns an adult conversation ugly is sarcasm (amoung other things).
What turns an adult conversation ugly is judging other people's parenting decisions and calling them "pathetic".
What turns an adult conversation ugly is taking a 5 second glimpse into someone's life and deciding you know what is going on.
Sarcasm makes things funny.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:40 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Palebride
Posted by MaMaTeenie
. IMO what turns an adult conversation ugly is sarcasm (amoung other things).
What turns an adult conversation ugly is judging other people's parenting decisions and calling them "pathetic".
What turns an adult conversation ugly is taking a 5 second glimpse into someone's life and deciding you know what is going on.
Sarcasm makes things funny.
ITA!!
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:41 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by johnsae
To Janice....congratulations on being at Church with your baby when your son was 5 weeks old. That's awesome, really. And you were in classes 7 days after a c-section WITH your child? Unbelievable!!!! Are you Super Woman? I wish I could be like you!!!
I picked my nose by myself after a C-Section when DD was 1 day old! I didn't think I could do it, but I have learned that a new mom can accomplish absolutely anything without any help if we put our minds to it!
You would take a look at the outfit the kid was wearing and diaper bag that was being used? I'm no expert but your posts scream JEALOUSY!!!!!!!
That's not fair.....
I might not agree with someone, but an attack like that isn't necessary
Yeah, that's just mean.
Janice is a good egg!
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:42 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I don't get where it's pathetic.
A nb was out on a gorgeous day with someone that "appeared" to be his nanny.
What's the issue here?
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:45 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Palebride
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by johnsae
To Janice....congratulations on being at Church with your baby when your son was 5 weeks old. That's awesome, really. And you were in classes 7 days after a c-section WITH your child? Unbelievable!!!! Are you Super Woman? I wish I could be like you!!!
I picked my nose by myself after a C-Section when DD was 1 day old! I didn't think I could do it, but I have learned that a new mom can accomplish absolutely anything without any help if we put our minds to it!
You would take a look at the outfit the kid was wearing and diaper bag that was being used? I'm no expert but your posts scream JEALOUSY!!!!!!!
That's not fair.....
I might not agree with someone, but an attack like that isn't necessary
Yeah, that's just mean.
Janice is a good egg!
LIF can really be screwed up. I'm not that familiar with Janice, but what I am familiar with is my need to express my opinion. I didn't agree with her. Period.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:46 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by johnsae
Posted by Palebride
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by johnsae
To Janice....congratulations on being at Church with your baby when your son was 5 weeks old. That's awesome, really. And you were in classes 7 days after a c-section WITH your child? Unbelievable!!!! Are you Super Woman? I wish I could be like you!!!
I picked my nose by myself after a C-Section when DD was 1 day old! I didn't think I could do it, but I have learned that a new mom can accomplish absolutely anything without any help if we put our minds to it!
You would take a look at the outfit the kid was wearing and diaper bag that was being used? I'm no expert but your posts scream JEALOUSY!!!!!!!
That's not fair.....
I might not agree with someone, but an attack like that isn't necessary
Yeah, that's just mean.
Janice is a good egg!
LIF can really be screwed up. I'm not that familiar with Janice, but what I am familiar with is my need to express my opinion. I didn't agree with her. Period.
you have a very 'interesting' way of expressing your opinion... them be daggers spewed from your mouth.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:48 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
It is okay, I don't know if I am jealous, but yes, I do enjoy checking out diaper bags.
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| Posted 6/24/10 8:48 PM |
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