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MAC222
LIF Adult
Member since 12/08 3860 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Michelle1123
Posted by MAC222
When does giving an opinion make someone "judging"? OP clearly wrote (as the subject) "not to judge" Obviously that was going to get you ladies revved up...always does..ready to pounce.
Anyhow, it is crazy to me to, then again, I am the same poster from a few months ago that was attacked for saying the manicure pedicure thing that always gets brought up....and spun completely out f control and off-topic....but I digress...either way, I think everyone knows how this board gets, I know I learned.
It is strange for people to see someone doing things that they would never do...and when you witness it, or see it, it strikes you...and that's it...
My opinion...this board gets crazy because women on here comment when a soft spot has been hit..when it is something they have done, would consider doing, and that is when the post get out of hand....agreeing to disagree is Adulthood class 101...you aren't going to do things the same as everyone, and it should be totally cool to come on LIF, and have people respond without the cattiness and the drama....but then again...those posts wouldn't bring us 7 pages
I'm sorry but just because she wrote "not too judge" does not mean that she wasnt. She used the term "pathetic", and to me, that is judging.
Thats disrespectful to people who were in similar situations, like ME. I was back to work when DD was 2 weeks old, and she was in the hands of a caregiver.
Opinions are fine when they are written out respectfully, expecially with the different parenting styles on this board. I wish people would remember that before posting sometimes.
Quite the contrary, I think she wrote it, as a warning, that she was judging...that was how I took it anyway.
You were in a difficult situation, and perhaps explaining that, as you did, will make people think that some may be in a different situation than others...but that doesn't mean the OP thought for a second that could be the scenario with that mom. And I think that people's responses agreeing with OP are just that...not really thinking of a situation like yours...
Message edited 6/25/2010 11:18:42 PM.
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Posted 6/25/10 10:09 PM  |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MAC222
When does giving an opinion make someone "judging"? OP clearly wrote (as the subject) "not to judge" Obviously that was going to get you ladies revved up...always does..ready to pounce.
Anyhow, it is crazy to me to, then again, I am the same poster from a few months ago that was attacked for saying the manicure pedicure thing that always gets brought up....and spun completely out f control and off-topic....but I digress...either way, I think everyone knows how this board gets, I know I learned.
It is strange for people to see someone doing things that they would never do...and when you witness it, or see it, it strikes you...and that's it...
My opinion...this board gets crazy because women on here comment when a soft spot has been hit..when it is something they have done, would consider doing, and that is when the post get out of hand....agreeing to disagree is Adulthood class 101...you aren't going to do things the same as everyone, and it should be totally cool to come on LIF, and have people respond without the cattiness and the drama....but then again...those posts wouldn't bring us 7 pages
When someone posts about getting a 5 minute glimpse into another person's life and then calling that person's parenting choice pathetic, the thread is going to get heated. IMO, there's a difference between saying you wouldn't make a similar choice and putting someone down.
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| Posted 6/26/10 8:46 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MAC222
Posted by Michelle1123
Posted by MAC222
When does giving an opinion make someone "judging"? OP clearly wrote (as the subject) "not to judge" Obviously that was going to get you ladies revved up...always does..ready to pounce.
Anyhow, it is crazy to me to, then again, I am the same poster from a few months ago that was attacked for saying the manicure pedicure thing that always gets brought up....and spun completely out f control and off-topic....but I digress...either way, I think everyone knows how this board gets, I know I learned.
It is strange for people to see someone doing things that they would never do...and when you witness it, or see it, it strikes you...and that's it...
My opinion...this board gets crazy because women on here comment when a soft spot has been hit..when it is something they have done, would consider doing, and that is when the post get out of hand....agreeing to disagree is Adulthood class 101...you aren't going to do things the same as everyone, and it should be totally cool to come on LIF, and have people respond without the cattiness and the drama....but then again...those posts wouldn't bring us 7 pages
I'm sorry but just because she wrote "not too judge" does not mean that she wasnt. She used the term "pathetic", and to me, that is judging.
Thats disrespectful to people who were in similar situations, like ME. I was back to work when DD was 2 weeks old, and she was in the hands of a caregiver.
Opinions are fine when they are written out respectfully, expecially with the different parenting styles on this board. I wish people would remember that before posting sometimes.
Quite the contrary, I think she wrote it, as a warning, that she was judging...that was how I took it anyway.
You were in a difficult situation, and perhaps explaining that, as you did, will make people think that some may be in a different situation than others...but that doesn't mean the OP thought for a second that could be the scenario with that mom. And I think that people's responses agreeing with OP are just that...not really thinking of a situation like yours...
I got the same impression...
The title I figured was sarcastic like "how can she not judge"...not saying shes right or wrong but thats how I took it from the get-go.
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| Posted 6/26/10 8:57 AM |
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
First, to the OP-thanks for the entertaining thread. Now that I am going on 14 nights with little sleep, I love me some drama to keep nursing sessions a little spicy.
As for the subject-i was recovering from a c/s and cold when I came home. If someone hired me a nurse and told me I had one hour to do anything I wanted, I would ask "where do I sign?". It is not like the mom of the NB fed the kid chocolate milk or left the kid in a trash bin. It is a caretaker, big deal. Maybe living in NYC made me used to these things. I wouldn't give this scenario a second thought, except maybe to drool over a designer diaper bag or the neat stroller.
If someone from planet Mars came to me now with qualifications and said that I could go for an hour massage while they dealt with my crabby 16 week old, I would be game.
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| Posted 6/26/10 10:13 AM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
why hasn't anyone asked where the father is?
DH took our kids out for walks much more than I did, since i had c/s.
FIL died 4 months before DH was born. Can you imagine my MIL 2 weeks after birth - in a foreign country (they were here on a work visa...so no flames please), having to get her late husband's body back to another country (not her current or home country)
DH has an aunt and a nanny that he considers just as important as his own mom (we had 4 mom corsages at our wedding - no steps) His nanny still lives with his mom - even though the kids are grown. She IS family and they fight like sisters to prove it.
mastitis is another good reason. I was being a good mom and BFing, but got an infection that kicked my a$$. Seriously, i have never experienced something so painful. I couldn't lift my arm much less a baby! thank goodness for my mom and sister - but equally thankful if it were my jamaican ex BIL.
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| Posted 6/26/10 3:29 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I was hospitalized longer than my son. My poor DH was trying to do everything in the house with a newborn, not knowing if I was going to live or die. He would've easily taken some help. (We moved the night before I delivered my son, early. So we hadn't even unpacked stuff yet. We would've taken any help we could've gotten.
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| Posted 6/26/10 7:01 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Erica
why hasn't anyone asked where the father is?
Good point!
We really are our own worst enemies. We all know how hard it is being a mom, yet we put all of this on each other. Funny that until now, no one mentioned what the father's involvement should have been- just why the mom was wrong. I guess we speak from what we would do in that role, but i know for certain that i didn't get myself pregnant- and i'm assuming the same holds true for most other women. 
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| Posted 6/26/10 11:11 PM |
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Let me know when she leaves the kid in the car......
Too soon?
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| Posted 6/26/10 11:14 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by munchkinfacemama
It is not like the mom of the NB fed the kid chocolate milk or left the kid in a trash bin.
1st I'm in shock that this thread is still going
2nd Mich are giving a baby choc milk and dumping them in a trash can on the same level? I'm sorry, that made me LOL. I just had to bust your chops about that one, but I know you are sleep deprived. Hope you get some sleep sooooon!
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| Posted 6/26/10 11:54 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by munchkinfacemama
It is not like the mom of the NB fed the kid chocolate milk or left the kid in a trash bin.
1st I'm in shock that this thread is still going
2nd Mich are giving a baby choc milk and dumping them in a trash can on the same level? I'm sorry, that made me LOL. I just had to bust your chops about that one, but I know you are sleep deprived. Hope you get some sleep sooooon!
I think someone had mentioned earlier (either on this thread or another one) how parents killed their newborn by overfeeding it chocolate milk.
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| Posted 6/26/10 11:56 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by neenie
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Posted by munchkinfacemama
It is not like the mom of the NB fed the kid chocolate milk or left the kid in a trash bin.
1st I'm in shock that this thread is still going
2nd Mich are giving a baby choc milk and dumping them in a trash can on the same level? I'm sorry, that made me LOL. I just had to bust your chops about that one, but I know you are sleep deprived. Hope you get some sleep sooooon!
I think someone had mentioned earlier (either on this thread or another one) how parents killed their newborn by overfeeding it chocolate milk.
Okay! That makes sense then. I must have missed that one, I just thought Michelle was going coo-coo. You know I luv ya Mich oxox
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| Posted 6/27/10 12:01 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by MaMaTeenie
Okay! That makes sense then. I must have missed that one, I just thought Michelle was going coo-coo. You know I luv ya Mich oxox
She could still be going coo-coo though
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| Posted 6/27/10 12:03 AM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
Posted by Janice
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Janice
I will say it, I would have judged.
2 weeks is really young to be out with a nanny. I can see someone napping and a nanny at home with the baby.
But I have also met a ton of nannies while being a sahm, good bad and ugly.
2 weeks old, I was nursing a lot, making sure my baby was comfortable. The baby was not out at a park with a non family member.
But again, yiou're judging based on YOUR lifestyle and what you know and how you choose to raise/care for your children - There is a whole world out there of people who do things very differently, and that is THEIR 'normal'
yes, I am aware of that.
But, I would have walked away saying I wonder where the hell the baby's mother is. And that is the truth.
Me too.
Message edited 6/27/2010 7:27:40 AM.
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| Posted 6/27/10 7:26 AM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Another "not to judge"....
I don't think there is anything "pathetic" about the scenario you described.
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| Posted 6/27/10 7:37 AM |
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