Any mom's that delivered early...

Do you ever feel that you sort of got cheated? I didn't deliver until 35 weeks but was in the hospital on complete bedrest from 28 weeks onward.

I am grateful to have a healthy baby - I know my situation could have had another outcome - but I am struggling with feelings that I missed out and got 'cheated' out of a big chunk of my pregnancy. I almost in a way feel as though certain parts of my pregnancy ended at 28 weeks. Is this normal?

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I didn't go early, but I would imagine I would feel like you too. I feel like my pregnancy went by way too fast, and I was a week overdue, so I can't imagine how you feel.

It's perfectly normal to feel that way, but just look at your daughter and realize how you got to see her earlier than anticipated.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

i didnt deliver early but i was having contractions from 25 wks on and was on bedrest from 29-36 weeks. i definitely feel gipped at times, like i didnt get to enjoy the process of being pregnant... but that's life, i guess. i just get sad that i imagined i would enjoy pregnancy so much, but now i just view it as a means to an end

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I delivered at 37 weeks so I don't feel cheated in that respect but I was asleep for her birth (for medical reasons) and very sedated afterwards so I don't remember the first few hours of DD's life. It bothers me. I only remember hearing her make a noise in my ear as DH lifted her up to me on my way to recovery. That was it.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

Sort of, I feel the same that I am grateful that I have a healthy baby but I too went on bedrest in the hospital at 27 weeks. I delivered at 37 weeks. Sometimes I just wish I could've enjoyed more aspects of the pregnancy and not have to worry about my next pregnancy

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

no way.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. My eldest daughter was born at 36 weeks after a month of bedrest and a pregnancy filled with fear.( I had lost a set of twins due to prematurity the year before. ) When I had my 2nd set of twins 5 years later I was put on bedrest at 20 weeks, hospitalized 2x, and had them at 35 weeks...I didnt realize that I felt as though I missed out on something until I was PG with DS. I wanted to make sure I didnt miss out on ANYTHING this time around (as I knew it was my last)

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

ya know what... a little. i was placed on bedrest at 24 weeks ended up delivering at 32.5 weeks. i had PROM.

i never went thru lamaze class. never had a traditional baby shower (i had one after DS was born and with DH there)

i count my blessings that DS came out as healthy as he is, but a little part of me misses that end part of pregnancy.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I delivered almost 3 weeks early- and was induced. I developed pre-eclampsia, and it happened so fast, that it was scary, but at the same time, I was so excited to meet my baby girl. My delivery experience could not have been better.

Now, looking back, I don't feel slighted, but it would have been cool to go thru it all naturally- meaning have contractions on my own, have my water break, etc. I know that doesn't happen all the time, but it still would have been fun!

Oh well, maybe next time!

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I had an emergency c-section at 30 weeks and I totally feel the same way. Not so much the pregnancy but more the birth experience....I never held DS after he was born and didn't even get to see him until the next afternoon. I think about it all the time....I guess in a way I feel guilty about it, almost like he was in the world and I wasn't there for him
As far as the last 10 weeks of pregnancy, I am told that I'm not missing much, but I still do feel a little cheated about that too.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

At first I felt cheated that I didn't get to feel that joy of taking the baby home right away. I never felt cheated out of the pregnancy.

Having had a second child, I can tell you that the last trimester 5ucks. The pain, the pressure, ugh.... but nothing was worse than having to leave your newborn in the hospital.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

Yes and I delivered at 38 weeks so no big deal really. I wasnt ready to have her - didnt have her nursery ready, clothes washed etc - I had to be induced and basically had to leave my office and go to the hospital.

Feel like I would have liked to go into labor naturally - dont know what that feels like. Would have liked to have finished up work a couple of days before my due date.

I am grateful that my DD was born healthy and everything fell together but next time I would like a 40 week pregnancy and I would not like to be induced.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I can kind of relate I delivered at 35 weeks. I look at the weeks go by and think oh she should have still been inside of me. But, in retrospect I am glad she came early. I was getting uncomfortable towards the end. I can't imagine how I would have felt if she were full term. Also she was 5lbs 9oz at 35 weeks and I had a natural birth and thought that was hard. Imagine if she was full term she would have been a lot bigger!!! Most likely more trauma to me down there.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I know exactly how you feel! I delivered at 33 weeks, total surprise, and althought I went into labor and had the birth experience...I didn't get to see DD until the following day. I also feel like I missed the end of my pregnancy...I didn't have very much of the 3rd trimester.

I had my tubes (well tube, I only had 1 to begin with) tied, so I will never have another child, so I will never get to go through this again.

Message edited 1/18/2008 6:21:58 PM.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I delivered DD#1 3 weeks early and did not feel cheated by it at all. I was excited it was over. I did, however, have a horrible pregnancy. I had Hyperemesis and I felt cheated by that because It made me hate being p/g.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I was on bed rest from 32 weeks and delivered at 37 weeks. I didn't feel cheated though. I loved being pregnant when I was mobile and I still loved it on bed rest. After unsuccessfully trying to conceive for years, I couldn't allow myself to feel bad about any part of my pregnancy. All along the way I just felt so blessed!

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I delivered on a scheduled c-section at 39 weeks so not really that early but I would not have felt cheated at 37 weeks.

I was SOOOO ready to have DS. I had had it with the pregnancy.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I had some pregnancy complications and delivered at 36 weeks. My baby spent 6 days in the NICU, due to my pregnancy complications and the timing of his arrival. I don't really think I felt cheated out of a part of my pregnancy. His early delivery was a planned thing because I cannot carry a baby to term, due to a prior uterine surgery.

What I feel cheated out of: having my baby near me right after birth, having delivery room photos and having my baby in my room with me at the hospital. DS was very quickly rushed to the NICU. Some things had happened in the OR that made DH too worried to take photos. Before I knew that DS was going to NICU, having him in my room with me sounded scary because I did not know how to care for a baby. Now, when I see other people's photos of the baby in their room, my heart sinks a little and I wish I had my baby in my room.

I have said it before--leaving the hospital with an empty carseat was the worst. On the day we left, we did not know that he would only need another 2 days there, so that made it even more difficult. Now I often think of moms who never get to bring their babies home and I have to be thankful that Dylan is okay.

Message edited 1/18/2008 9:37:05 PM.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

Well DS was born at 39 weeks so for that part I am greatful, but I had a miserable pregnancy from the start and was on left side only bed rest as of week 33. (Vison loss due to increased pressure on my spinal column, preeclampsia, and morning sickness for 7 months). So it hurts that things were not easy but having DS makes it wonderful.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I don't necessarily feel cheated, but I feel like I missed out on the best part of being PG. does that make sense?

I delivered via emergency c section at 32 weeks 5 days. I barely got to see DD, b/c she was literally rushed to the NICU. DH had to go with the ped to admit her.

So I didn't get to hold her until the next morning, and I had to leave her at the hospital. Nothing is worse then that feelng.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I'm at 32 weeks now and actually ripped my hip ligaments that are supposed to stretch during delivery so I am on bed rest for at least the next week possilby the remainder of the pregnancy and I already feel very cheated cause I want to be out getting ready for her- shopping and getting the house ready and I can't do much of anything. My only trips out of the house even are to PT. I'm due march 16th and its highly doubtful that i'm making it to that date since i've already had contractions and now with part of the birthing area already ripped... its so frustrating

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

I never really thought about it that way.

I do feel cheated about my pregnancy. It was so absoultely miserable that I KNOW I am never going to have another baby. I wish I had those happy memories and to top it off, he was lazy and I never really felt him move that much. I didn't have those happy pregnancy moments at all.

I don't feel cheated that I was induced though, I mean, I never went into labor but I guess I was so ready to be done that I was so happy that they were inducing me.

Re: Any mom's that delivered early...

Totally honest...YES! I had an emergency section at 32 weeks. I am so blessed that everything is fine but I still feel cheated.

I didnt get to get huge (crazy I know) , I didnt get the oh my I think its time, I didnt get the come visit me in the hospital and look at my baby in the nursery, and I didnt get the its a boy and now you get to hold him and kiss him....I got the its a boy take a look...daddy come see...off to the nicu...I got to finally hold him after he was a week old...I got to finally feed him after he was a few weeks old, I got to show him to my family after he was a month old...through a window...I got to bring him home after a long 73 days....BUt most importantly I got the most amazing little boy I could have ever wished for.

Oh and by the way my fingers are crossed for the next one....I hope I go to at least 37 weeks! Whenever we are blessed again!

Message edited 1/19/2008 9:55:53 PM.