Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

I think the start of the last trimester is making me really realize what is happening and how our lives are going to change in such an incredible way and I feel so confused.

This past week I was looking through our pictures from the past four years and I realized DD really became our lives. Many of my FB posts are about afternoons spent with her. Most of my fun is time spent going places with her.

Are two really better than one?

Tell me how amazing this is going to be!!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

It's perfectly normal that way but I will tell you, with 1000000% certainty that all those feelings will disappear the second they hand you your baby!

You will then realize that you can't imagine your life without this baby...

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

You are going to be SHOCKED at how amazing it will be

I was scared to death... how on EARTH was I ever going to love this "new" baby? I was so inlove with # 1 and scared of taking time away from him, "sharing" myself, etc.

# 2 arrived, and while it was crazy hectic for awhile, you realize that you DO love your second as much as your first, it IS as much fun and awe-inspiring as the first time... and its EASIER because you've BTDT.

Watching # 1 grow and help and bond with a sibling is magical.

You will be FINE!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Posted by MrsGmomof3

You are going to be SHOCKED at how amazing it will be

I was scared to death... how on EARTH was I ever going to love this "new" baby? I was so inlove with # 1 and scared of taking time away from him, "sharing" myself, etc.

# 2 arrived, and while it was crazy hectic for awhile, you realize that you DO love your second as much as your first, it IS as much fun and awe-inspiring as the first time... and its EASIER because you've BTDT.

Watching # 1 grow and help and bond with a sibling is magical.

You will be FINE!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Thank you

I keep telling myself that DH and I are both the younger siblings and things turned out okay and I don't think I scarred my brother by coming into his life but I guess a lot has to do with waiting for a while for another one.

I know it is going to be great, but I guess I like to hear HOW great. I want to hear how awesome it is to see the siblings playing. I guess I am just someone who needs reassurance. Kind of lame

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

My kids are each other's best friends..

We went through some hard times recently and while my youngest was shielded by it all (too young to know what was going on), my son (6) and DD(4) were there for each other tremendously and helped keep my LO entertained if I needed a moment to regroup or was having a moment where I was visibly emotional... They've also been MY best friends during all of this and also my biggest rewards from God.

They have their moments where they are ready to tear each other apart but in all honesty, neither of them can live without the other.. whenever 1 is sick, the others look after the other, if one gets in trouble for doing something, another steps up to go to bat for them.. they look after each other, protect each other from bullies on the playground, strangers and any danger whatsoever.. my son even fixed my lo's pigtail and my one daughter put a bandaid on and kissed my other's boo boo.. my oldest DD has even changed my younger one's diaper! lmao

It'll be great and amazing.. NO, you are NOT lame.. it's perfectly normal to feel like this..

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

I felt very guilty and like I was ruining DSs life when I brought DS2 home. I cried about it. I was afraid he would think he was being replaced

DS adjusted and now they have a great time playing together. I couldn't be happier that I gave them both a lifelong best friend and then the teenage years will hit and they will probably beat the crap out of each other on a daily basis

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Since the day I got pregnant I've beeing feeling such guilt towards my younger DD...I'm an only child and can't imagine her not being just my life...our alone time and mommy and DD time is not going to be just one on one all the time now..it breaks my heart...honestly I have no clue...I get so excited when I think about the other one coming but when DD and I are alone together I can't help but feel sooo badly for her

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Try to think of all the wonderful new memories you are going to make with her as she tends to and loves her new little sibling!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Ugh. I cant even think about it because I cry.

And the funny part is I KNOW I am being ridicuous about it.

She is literally my entire life.

I just can't imagine sharing mysef or loving another the same way.

It breaks my heart to think that she will ever be sad or upset or feel like I am not paying attention to her because of the new baby.

And dont get be started on being away from her in the hospital

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Totally normal feelings but you are going to be blown out of the water at how AMAZING it is to have two kids.

I delayed going to the hospital when I was in LABOR with DS as I was so completely devastated to be leaving my DD but I went and DS was born and the joy, the joy, the joy he has brought to our family is out of this world My DD is 5 and he is now 20 months. Sure they fight over toys but her name is the first name he shouts in the morning, she runs into see him and kisses and hugs him, she acts like a second mom to him, they run around the house like crazy people in the evening, they run around the garden together, they are everything to each other even at this early age and I tear up a LOT when I see them hugging or kissing or even just playing together and I thank god for the gift that I have given both of them.

We waited for 3 1/2 years for DS as we were so consumed with DD and really thought we would not be able to love another child as much and how wrong were we. Our hearts have expanded even more since DS was born and so much so we are hoping to have a third.

Dont waste time worrying - it will be the greatest thing to ever happen to your family..I PROMISE

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

I reme,ber having this same feeling when it was me, DH and my 20 month old. I was scared that someone new would change things


he did....and for teh better! Yes, my older DS doesnt get teh same one on one time but he has a little brother and their dynamic is priceless

it takes time and some patience but your family finds a new groove and i never heard a family "regret" having another kid!!!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

On the way to the hospital I cried...the hard ugly cry and DH started telling me it would be okay...we were almost there. But that wasn't why I was crying. That entire ride to the hospital I cried for Lucas....for how his whole world was about to change...for how he would have to share my attention and his life with another person that he did not asked to share it with. I cried so hard and I worried.

But a day later he came walking into my hospital room with a huge sign welcoming his little brother and he marvelled at the sight of him. He beamed with pride to hold him in the hospital bed and loved every minute of the new attention he received.

He has been nothing short of wonderful with his little brother. Of course they have their moments and there have been more times where he has had to wait, or be quiet, or not get what he needed than I can stand to recall but he's never shown any resentment towards his brother.

There are moments between them that I will keep with me forever...
- The way they hold hands in the back seat of the car.
- The day I found Gregory sitting in Lucas' lap in the playroom as Lucas showed him his cars.
- The night Lucas told me that Gregory was his best friend and he loved him so much.

There are so many of these sweet moments between them and when I see how much Gregory adores his older brother and how much Lucas loves his younger brother...my only regret is that I couldn't give this to them sooner.

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Posted by computergirl

Posted by MrsGmomof3

You are going to be SHOCKED at how amazing it will be

I was scared to death... how on EARTH was I ever going to love this "new" baby? I was so inlove with # 1 and scared of taking time away from him, "sharing" myself, etc.

# 2 arrived, and while it was crazy hectic for awhile, you realize that you DO love your second as much as your first, it IS as much fun and awe-inspiring as the first time... and its EASIER because you've BTDT.

Watching # 1 grow and help and bond with a sibling is magical.

You will be FINE!

Everything she said. Also, I'm an only child, so I also felt this weird guilt.... like, *I* never had to share my parents' attention growing up, why am I doing this to my DS? I could give him more time, more material things, etc, if I only had him.

Now, 2 years into it, I can't believe I ever had those thoughts!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Totally normal.
I had it soo bad the first week home with my DD, my DS was fine with her but so upset with me and my DH, he wanted nothing to do with us I cried so much, felt soo gulity, etc. Plus ironically at that point my DS was having major stomach issues (nothing to do with the baby coming though-just bad timing for GI issues to show up) so that added to my guilt. By the next week he started to snap out of the funk toward me and my DH and from then on was great. I am so happy he has a little sister and he adores her soo much its ridiculous. I promise it is AMAZING and when you see the 2 interact it is the best feeling ever and you will know you made the right choice

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

I was a wreck about this whole thing....I thought I was taking Sammie's world away, but thankfully she has never had one bad day as a big sister...I learned to let her help in any way she wanted....and she did, she was 2 1/2 so its different than lots of other moms whose kids are closer in age, but I can honestly tell you it gets stressful when the baby first arrives, but now, with dd#2 being 1 1/2, there is so much love its awesome.....my fav time of day is bedtime when dd#2 yells "Sammie, I need kiss and hug"...and Sammie comes running to provide it....

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

Posted by MrsGmomof3

You are going to be SHOCKED at how amazing it will be

I was scared to death... how on EARTH was I ever going to love this "new" baby? I was so inlove with # 1 and scared of taking time away from him, "sharing" myself, etc.

# 2 arrived, and while it was crazy hectic for awhile, you realize that you DO love your second as much as your first, it IS as much fun and awe-inspiring as the first time... and its EASIER because you've BTDT.

Watching # 1 grow and help and bond with a sibling is magical.

You will be FINE!

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

i know how you feel! DD is almost 3 and her little sister will be here in just over a week!! I've been having incredible highs and lows over the last few weeks. DD seems to be ready/excited for her sister. When we were in target yesterday and walking by the baby stuff she wanted to stop and by everything for her little sister! I'm sure your DD will be very excited and a great help with the baby!! it will be an adjustment of course but down the road your family will be happier than you could have ever imagined :) (at least that's what I keep telling myself!!)

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

I had immense guilt and anxiety before having Chase and for about two months after.
Once he started responding to Ava and they started to truly interact, all of that went away and I cannot for a second believe I ever worried about adding a second!
Even though Ava's almost 5 and Chase is only 10 months, you would not believe the way they play together
They love each other so much and that alone is enough to squash any fears or guilt.
It's the best decision we ever made to have another child.

Re: Any other second timers ridden with guilt, anxiety and general confusion about bringing another baby into the family?

I cried after getting pregnant. I convinced myself that I was ruining DS's life and that our family was perfect at three. I'm still worried about how he will handle being the big brother and not the only child.