Any regret, or fear of regrets?

I'm 100% sure I don't want children, but I fear in my old age I'll regret this decision. I guess it's been ingrained in me for so long that one must procreate to live a fulfilled life. Anyone fear they may regret it later?

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Yes I do- all the time.
It's an ongoing battle/struggle.
But the thing is- I KNOW I don't want children. And I think- well would it be better to have them to avoid regrets in old age?
And the answer is no- of course.

But I don't think I'll ever be 100% free of a fear of regret...

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

No fear or regrets...i like my life the way it is...i always hate when people say "well who will take care of you when you are old???" like that is a reason to just go & have kids...my niece & nephews will take care of me if they want to be in the will...

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Fear of regret.

I always wanted children, but timewise it just wasn't meant to be. I started dating DH when I was 37, and we married when I was 41. I know that at my age it is possible, but ..... and there are a lot of them.

I'm afraid of being alone in my old age, of not having anyone to look after me. Da mn that sounds so selfish, but what I did for my Mom when she was sick and dying, looking after my Dad, looking after DH's Mom when she was sick and dying, and now looking after DH's Dad, who is going to do that for me when I'm old and feeble ? DH is older than me, and he does not take care of himself.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Posted by KittyKatCopper

Posted by SusiBee

I'm afraid of being alone in my old age, of not having anyone to look after me. Da mn that sounds so selfish, but what I did for my Mom when she was sick and dying, looking after my Dad, looking after DH's Mom when she was sick and dying, and now looking after DH's Dad, who is going to do that for me when I'm old and feeble ? DH is older than me, and he does not take care of himself.

That doesn't sound selfish at all. Do you have any nieces/nephews? My Dad took better care of his aunt than her own children...he would visit her every single week...her kids would come maybe 3 times a year and they all lived within driving distance...try not to think that way...i am sure you have people who will look out for you!!!

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Yes all the time! When DH and I talk about whether or not we want to have children at some point in the future, we think we'd be perfectly happy not having them... but worry we might feel differently 15 or 20 years down the road & then it would be too late.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Message edited 9/17/2013 2:32:48 PM.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

I certainly don't want to meet the poor child that was concived "just in case" of possiable regrets. IMO that is no reason to bring another life into this world, babies should not have a job you know.

As for someone to take care of me/DH -Children or no Children we have both decided that we are going right into a retirement community at 75 God willing that we are both still here. I don't want to be a burden on ANYONE in my old age. I see what taking the responsability of my Grandparents has done to my Mother and I would never want to put people in that position.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Sometimes I do fear I'll regret it.
Then some sort of reality hits me and I'm thankful and happy with my life as it is so what could there be to regret?

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Message edited 9/17/2013 2:32:39 PM.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Posted by KittyTheStray

Posted by irishbaby
As for someone to take care of me/DH -Children or no Children we have both decided that we are going right into a retirement community at 75 God willing that we are both still here. I don't want to be a burden on ANYONE in my old age. I see what taking the responsability of my Grandparents has done to my Mother and I would never want to put people in that position.

ITA! I always say "With all the money we are saving from not having children, we'll be living in high style with a personal caretaker..."

Also, who's to say you won't give birth to a child with disabilities who YOU will be taking care of, and you have to worry about who will care for them when you are unable to??

Or maybe you wind up with an ungrateful or selfish child who just writes you off later in life... there are no guarentees just because you have a child that your child will be able or willing.

I told you I only see the negatives when I look at a situation

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

I don't think she meant specifically "to take care of her." I kinda know what she's saying, I guess it depends how your family has been throughout your life. We've always kept our elderly with us and taken care of them so I kinda see what she's saying.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

I struggle with this all the time, but in my opinion, it's not a good enough reason to have a baby right now.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

Sometimes I wonder if I'll be that lonely old lady in the nursing home who never has anyone visit her. You know what though... That's a danger regardless of children. You can't always count on family, sadly.

It's only once in a blue moon though and like everyone has said, it's not reason enough.

Re: Any regret, or fear of regrets?

FH and I struggle with this decision, but we take it step by step. Right now we are childless by choice and our friends are starting to have babies, but we haven't moved past that yet. Who knows!