Anyone else feel this way???

I guess I am little down lately because I just dont feel like my DH is as involved with the baby stuff as I am. I expected him to be so much more involved then he is. I mean he comes to all of the important appts. with me and talks to baby in my stomach sometimes, but he just doesnt seem to have time to research baby names, or baby items that we need like I do. He takes care most of our business stuff and the bills. I keep feeling like he is not really that connected to the baby as I am.

I dont know maybe this is a normal way for a guy to act. I'm just not too happy right now.

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

I think that it really hits the men once they actually hold that little baby in their arms.

There are times when all I want to do is talk about the baby and the future and DH wants to talk about work. I try not to take it personally because I know he will be such an amazing dad once this baby is born!

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

I feel the same way at times, like he has no desire on being part of the registering (when we did) and then had to get the baby furniture...not into it at all!

I get all emotional and upset and think it if it was a boy, he'd be different but i think they just dont know what we are feeling...Inside, outside, hormonally. They will never know. Its so different for us.

I think when the baby comes, of course things will be different.

Hang in there!

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

DH is all about the baby, but things like researching products & such he is very out of it. When I asked him he said he is so afraid of picking something that is unsafe or that is not the best, and he knows I will do a better job. He does peek at the registry though to see what I have chosen.

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

I have to force DH's hand a little when it comes to this.

Usually right before bed I'll break out the baby name book and we'll read over a few things and he'll really get into it.

I "dragged" him to register with me, but he wound up having a great time.

I think they just need to be finessed into the conversations sometimes.

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

DH and I argue about this all the time. He is not an emotional person as it is, but I thought after going through 1 IUI and 2 IVFs, and a miscarriage he would finally be ecstatic. Well maybe he is, but you'd never know it. He doesn't do any research either - and when we went to register was annoyed with me that I didn't know every exact thing that I wanted. We had a big fight over that...

I think the above comment is right - they don't really get into it until they hold the baby. I know he will be a great daddy, but he does not EVER talk to my belly, or want any pictures, or anything. I give him pregnancy for dads and he reads Popular Mechanics instead....

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

I thought dh might be more into it too but he wasn't. Once we had our childbirth class and our shower and now have all the stuff in the house I feel like its hitting him more.

I think once they have the baby in their arms then everything (usually) changes. I wouldn't worry about it. Personally I feel us moms have a bit of a deeper connection at 1st because we have this little constant reminder and the bonding is different because this little human is growing inside of US.

Don't worry about it. He'll come around

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

When I was pregnant, I felt like that. DH wasn't the type to rub my belly out of nowhere, talk to my belly, etc. He didn't really care about the stuff I bought or anything like that. I felt like he was disconnected from the whole experience. Well, once the baby was born it was completely different. He is the most hands-on dad ever and he is soo into it. I think some men just don't get "into" it, so to speak, until the baby is a reality.

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

it didnt really hit DH until our Level 2

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

Men are not as emotional as women. And when you are still early in your pregnancy, men are not experiencing all of the changes that we are going through so its hard to relate.

Although my DH has always come to all of the ultrasound appts, he really did not begin to get all involved until after we had our Level II, started our registry, and when my belly really started to pop and he could feel the baby move.

Dont take it personal. Its an adjustment phase. He will bond quickly enough.

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

in the beginning, DH was excited but i felt like i was more into it then him, turns out he was stiil in shock esp b/c it happened on the 1st try for us, well by the 2nd month when m/s started to kick in, he started getting really involved, reading up on remedies for me, signing up for baby center.com emails LOL, he just started doing it on his own when he felt ready, now he's so excited and always talks about our "bean" i think that men are so different from us and while we have that instinct from before our baby is even concieved, it takes them a little while to come to terms, esp since they arent carrying the baby and going throught the changes, like Mrsdstowe said. Your DH will def come around esp once he holds that baby!

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

DH was married before and has 2 daughters, so I think he feels a little more connected because he knows what its like to have kids....

He obviously isn't going to feel as connected as I do now - but I think he is excited and will be very connected to the baby once its born...

But, generally, men just don't have that connection - literally. We feel this baby everyday - especially when it gets bigger and it moves inside you all day... its foreign to men..... This baby literally becomes a part of our bodies... to men, it is something that WILL be coming into their lives - but not here yet....

Don't feel bad - he's going to love that baby once its born...

And Smileyd17 - I can't wait to read how much of a daddy's little girl your daughter has become. I have heard so many stories of men wanting boys, upset upon finding out they are having a girl, and loving their daughters and being sooo close with them..... I can totally see that happening with you!!!!

Message edited 1/26/2007 3:48:38 PM.

Re: Anyone else feel this way???

DH likes to rely on me for the research on product. I research, I found several options and we decide together.

He is very involved with the pregnancy and very supportive/helpful (he does everything!!) but he will be the first one to tell me/admit that he does not really know about babies and baby products and will tend to rely more on me and what I find out on LIF, internet, etc...

Re: Anyone else feel this way???