Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Fighting last night about DH not really doing much to help around the house.
It's only my first week back to work, but DH doesn't understand that I am not Superwoman, as much as I want to believe so...
WhenI was home he seemed to think that I was home twiddling my thumbs, and I did take on a lot of the household responsibility.....but now the playing field is "even" and I;m still getting dumped on.....

Tried to settle the waters this morning and got "I don't care how you feel or what you say....."
It was lovely....

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Sorry...I know how hard it is. I do all things domestic and work. It's impossible to keep up. What I have found is that if I want anything done, I have to ask because he is never going to think to himself to do it on his own.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by shamrock124

Sorry...I know how hard it is. I do all things domestic and work. It's impossible to keep up. What I have found is that if I want anything done, I have to ask because he is never going to think to himself to do it on his own.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

I think you need to sit with your DH, at a time that you are not in a heated argument and have a heart to heart.
It sounds like there is miscommunication between you too.
I mean, if you were doing alot of the stuff while you were home, he doesn't realize how much you were doing cause you had it all done.

So I think the two of you communicating on the things that need to be done, will help.

I know the tactic of saying to him, you need to help me, or you have to do this - would have never worked for my DH.

Even right things down (make a list)
and say maybe these are the things that you can help me with

For instance, my DH gives DD her baths.
This gives me time to clean the kitchen after dinner, or clean up her toys or do a load of laundry or what have you - even if I sit on the couch and relax.
But DH and I discussed these things and it has worked for us

Good luck!

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

HOLY CRAP!!!!! I can totally relate. Vent anytime to me. I can tell you so many stories, but I have to go right now.

Men are ridiculous at times.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by shamrock124

Sorry...I know how hard it is. I do all things domestic and work. It's impossible to keep up. What I have found is that if I want anything done, I have to ask because he is never going to think to himself to do it on his own.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

My Dh is really good about helping, but I agree with the asking him exactly what you want. I think it is also helpful if I say "If you could do this for me, it frees up my time to do this other thing...."

I would also try to avoid having these conversations at all in the morning. You guys are probably too rushed to talk about it, it turns into a fight and it ends up being a bad way for both of you to start your day.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

I'm with you and its my SECOND week back!!

Today I was totally POd at DH. DD kept waking up constantly since 2 am, and guess what, DH didn't get up once! He kept telling me "i will be tired at work' well, uuuuhh thanks!!!! Now I am tired at work, been up since 2am!

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

DS is 2 and I still go through this with DH. He'll be good for a week or so and then back to his old ways, sitting on the couch when he comes home from work while I cook, clean, vacuum and take care of DS. Then I have a break down and he's good again for a week. He just doesn't get it and I don't think he ever will. Men. Can't live with them, can't kill them.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by Mrs

I'm with you and its my SECOND week back!!

Today I was totally POd at DH. DD kept waking up constantly since 2 am, and guess what, DH didn't get up once! He kept telling me "i will be tired at work' well, uuuuhh thanks!!!! Now I am tired at work, been up since 2am!

Message edited 4/4/2008 12:04:47 PM.

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Posted by curliegirl

Fighting last night about DH not really doing much to help around the house.
It's only my first week back to work, but DH doesn't understand that I am not Superwoman, as much as I want to believe so...
WhenI was home he seemed to think that I was home twiddling my thumbs, and I did take on a lot of the household responsibility.....but now the playing field is "even" and I;m still getting dumped on.....

Tried to settle the waters this morning and got "I don't care how you feel or what you say....."
It was lovely....

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

Does it count that I wanted to (and still do want to) kick DH in the teeth last night because he left the gas flame on the stove - for over an hour while I was out - and the baby was sleeping - and he was drinking his wine???

MEN

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..

I help out a lot, but even I need DW to tell me explicitly what she expects from me once in a while. It's not a male thing. I have to do the exact same thing for her if I want her to do certain chores around the house, or buy a tool for my b-day, etc. If it's not something you're familiar with, you need explicit directions.

Would every woman here be able to "Fix the house."? I'm sure most women would need an exact list of everything to do. DW doesn't even notice half of the things that I see that need to be repaired.

Women!

Re: Anyone else wanna kick their DH square in the teeth? Responsibility related..