Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

DC is 6 months. We started stage 2 foods about 2 weeks ago and imo they have not been much thicker than stage one (we haven't done any meats yet and have no plans to until we ask the ped next week). So he eats baby rice and oatmeal, fruits, and veggies all in pureed form.

I feel like the people in my life i.e. my MIL mostly but also some of my mom friends keep pushing me to give him a tiny piece of cut up pasta, a tiny piece of bread drenched in sauce, etc. You know, like little mushy things. Oh, and MIL tried to give him a little pastina but I could see he looked so confused with it in his mouth and made her stop...

I feel like I am constantly battling for people to NOT let dc "try" stuff. I just don't get what the big rush is. I feel like they are ONLY causing a choking hazard.

The worst part is that when my MIL does it I feel so uncomfortable telling her no and she has that mindset like I raised kids and I know what I'm doing. She is watching ds full time when I go back to work this week (see other post about that, lol) and I feel like I am constantly gonna be nervous he is gonna choke.

Also DH has made it very clear to her that he doesn't approve. He is so awesome and basically takes full blame so I don't have to feel awkward but she doesn't really care. She thinks we're being ridiculous and the baby is hungry...

I know he is MY son and my rules should be followed but ugh it's so drama. BUT omg if he DID choke I would DIE (obviously) so I feel like I'm being a bad mommy by not being more assertive. I mean, ugh, I don't know- it's not like I don't say anything at all. She KNOWS I don't approve but just insists DH and I are being neurotic.

I'm not just looking for replies like "It's your kid so she better listen" (although I like those, lol) but I would also like some opinions on whether I AM over reacting a bit. Like, what if it was DH who thought DS was ready for these foods. Might he be? He just turned 6 months.

Thanks and wow this got kinda long- sorry.

Message edited 8/29/2010 2:16:08 PM.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early?

I felt the same way as you.

My SIL was giving Loey all different kinds of things that I did not feel comfortable with and I tried to just let it slide because I didn't want to be one of "those" parents...

BUT... then Loey choked on a puff and needed back blows (aka baby heimlich) and that was the end of that.

I do NOT think you are overreacting! We only started solids a little after 6 months old and I wanted to go at a slower pace. At 8 months old, Loey STILL has choking incidences and it's REALLY scary. Since the first time, I've been nervous about giving him things and *I* want to be the one to give him things to try when I'm ready (well... I want it to be me or DH).

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early?

I let ds try anything early. I didnt care. The only thing i am completely against is peanutbutter and chocolate. But thats me. You as the parent can tell people no. And not feel bad that is your right. They raised their kids let you raise yours.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early?

My mom watches DS two days a week and she has been a nightmare. She is fully aware of what I want him to eat and not but it does not seem to phase her in the least. She watches him on thursdays and fridays and last week we went and met her at the outlets on saturday. While we were walking around the Christmas Tree Shop, DS started fussing a bit in the stroller. My mom whips out a chocolate chip cookie and hands it to him The friggin kid is 10 months old I snatched it out of his hands (of course he screamed ) and threw it on the floor and told my mother he is NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT. I got an eyeroll and she told DS "Your mommy is mean..." To which I replied, "No, mommy doesnt want you to grow up and be FAT like grandma." And I walked away. Yes, I caused a scene but I didnt care. But, honestly, I'm in the same boat and have no advice. I need my mom to watch my son and all I can do is keep stressing the point of what I want him to eat and not. She doesnt seem to give a rats behind what anyone thinks, especially me. SHE raised TWO kids....and WE turned out JUST fine....

Sorry for no help, but you're not alone.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early?

A friend of mine tried to give DS a piece of bread when he was about six months old. And I don't mean a tiny piece. It was about the size of his thumb. I told her he was only eating baby food. She said she gave it to her son at this age. She was holding him at this point. I had to tell her that he had food allergies and he couldn't have it. She got mad and threw it down. DS also has a severe gag reflex. Some people think it is fine for them to do something because their kid did it. I have seen her feed her son pieces of food that I would have choked on. He did in fact choke on a piece of watermelon last summer because she kept shoving it in his mouth..Now I tell people that he is on a special diet because of his allergy's when we are around food...

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early?

This would be really upsetting to me and I wouldn't want her to provide daily care to DD if she couldn't follow my rules. That being said, if you don't have a choice on that, I'm not sure what to do. It wouldn't bother me too much if it wasn't every day but it will be so yeah I'd be really upset. At least it's a temporary concern - eventually your DC will be eating anything and everything. I wish I had some advice - just

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early?

All I can tell you is that in a couple of short months from now, your LO will be eating all kinds of food and it won't be an issue anymore. You'll have people saying, "Oh he can eat that?" It goes from one extreme to another.

Just stick to your guns and tell people to MYOB.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

On Wednesday since I'll be at work dh is taking dc to his 6 mth ped appt. I'm having him take MIL along and I emailed the Dr. (who is a pretty cool guy) explaining the deal so that he can nonchalantly but firmly talk a little about what food dc is ready for and what will make him choke.

Message edited 8/29/2010 2:18:35 PM.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

for both kids it didnt make a difference to me, i never held back. peanut butter at 1 year, shelled fish at 18 months, strawberries at 9 months.

if they could eat it i would let them.

i made sure it was cut small at first and graually increase the size of food, so by 8-9 months they were off of baby food for the most part.

but hey its your DC so they need to respect that.. if they dont, dont allow them to watch DC and even withold them from seeing DC so they know you mean business

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

We didn't really have this problem, but DS started eating at 6 months, and he had trouble handling anything other than purees in the beginning--lots of gagging. But no one really pushed me to give him other foods, and when he seemed ready to handle them, that's when I offered them.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

OMG one of my biggest pet peeves, from friends, family, doctors and strangers. I am SO SICK of hearing "Oh, my child was totally on table foods by 9 months" or "WOW I started giving them everything at 6 months." Whatever!!! My daughter is not ready and she is still choking on certain things and only I know what she can eat and how big the pieces should be!

I feel like saying back to them, "WOW, your 4 year old son still wears a pull-up? My son was totally potty trained by 2 years old" or "WOW your 2 year old child still takes a pacifier? My DD was totally done with hers before she was 1." Every child is different so stop making me feel bad about mine!

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

That is a great idea!!! Good luck. I hope it works.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

My mother used to pull that stuff & it totally pi$$ed me off. My kid, my rules. However, because that alone doesn't. Work I would e-mail her articles from AAP etc to show how things had changed fromthe time I was my DD's age to now.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

OMG I can totally relate. I feel the same way.

My SIL was going to let DD have a taste of BBQ sauce and she wasn't even 3 months old yet. like W**T**F i nearly lost my mind. Then she proceeds to say...oh dont worry when mommy is not around...blah blah blah. I am so reluctant to leave her at IN LAWS because I think they'll give her tastes of stuff.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

I felt the EXACT same way with my DS. My MIL was always trying to give him things I was not ready to give and I did not think he was ready to have. It was that simple and I felt like she did not respect my feelings. My DH was totally supportive and told her to stop. SHe was a little sneaky about things when I was at work which just ate me up everytime she watched him. I kept telling myself it will only be a few more weeks (or months) till he is ready so just pick your battles.

He was never a "great" eater so I think how I approached his feedings was correct.

With my DD now, MIL hasn't tried a thing since I am much more comfortable exploting different foods with her at an earlier age. DD will eat anything and MIL now taken my old role HA! You can never win!!

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

Message edited 8/30/2010 7:42:36 AM.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

Posted by Domino

My mom watches DS two days a week and she has been a nightmare. She is fully aware of what I want him to eat and not but it does not seem to phase her in the least. She watches him on thursdays and fridays and last week we went and met her at the outlets on saturday. While we were walking around the Christmas Tree Shop, DS started fussing a bit in the stroller. My mom whips out a chocolate chip cookie and hands it to him The friggin kid is 10 months old I snatched it out of his hands (of course he screamed ) and threw it on the floor and told my mother he is NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT. I got an eyeroll and she told DS "Your mommy is mean..." To which I replied, "No, mommy doesnt want you to grow up and be FAT like grandma." And I walked away. Yes, I caused a scene but I didnt care. But, honestly, I'm in the same boat and have no advice. I need my mom to watch my son and all I can do is keep stressing the point of what I want him to eat and not. She doesnt seem to give a rats behind what anyone thinks, especially me. SHE raised TWO kids....and WE turned out JUST fine....

Sorry for no help, but you're not alone.

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

To answer the OP's question..

I think you are being a bit overcautious..I understand where you're coming from in a way, but at 6 months my kids were eating so much of everyting in tiny bites. Pastina is the most neutral harmless food...

But I guess it all comes down to YOUR comfort level. My mom has handed my kids things that i hadn't given them yet..i just watch their reaction and how they're handling the food. She raised 6 kids with no problem so i trust her completely. The only thing that is a HUGE no-no is peanuts or tree nuts..especially since DS #1 has an allergy

Re: Anyone feel like the people around you push/ed different solid foods on dc too early? *MINOR UPDATE IT ANYONE CARES, LOL

I personally thnk you're being overly cautious - but regardless of what anyone else thinks, they should be respecting your comfort level as THE MOTHER - And I don't think ANYONE should give a child ANYTHING w/o first asking the parents' permission -

It doesn't matter how many kids she raised or how they turned out - this kid is not hers, he's yours. And it's YOUR turn to raise him -

you have every single right in the world to speak up - and I strongly suggest you do it soon and set the precedent that you WILL open your mouth - otherwise she's just going to keep doing whatever she wants and you're going to go crazy.