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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
DH has Joint Custody of his 2 boys but we are interested in filing for joint physical. We would like to take them m-f during the school week, since I am home FT and DH is a cop (he is off more during the week) and his Ex would have them on weekends and school breaks/days off (she is a teacher). She is not thrilled with this arrangement but the truth is, the boys have been telling us some, ummmm, I guess I could say, disturbing things. DH thinks that the courts always side with the mom and that he wont get anywhere. Has anyone gone through this who can offer some guidance?
TIA. 
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Posted 1/21/10 7:52 PM  |
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ThePinkGoose
In Your Hands
Member since 8/08 4706 total posts
Name:
Nunya
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
I really don't have any concrete answers to your question. I know how hard it is to hear stories about things going on on the "other side" and it can be frustrating. I have been hearing of the courts taking the father's side more and more lately so maybe there is hope. 
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| Posted 1/21/10 8:23 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
How old are the boys?
My girls are in the process of trying to change their visitation schedule with their father. It's a long story and one I wont rehash here..
Because of their age (they just turned 11) the girls were assigned a Law Guardian to have their voices heard.
Im not sure how things are going to work out for us...
But it cant hurt to try...
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| Posted 1/21/10 9:51 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
Posted by hbugal
How old are the boys?
My girls are in the process of trying to change their visitation schedule with their father. It's a long story and one I wont rehash here..
Because of their age (they just turned 11) the girls were assigned a Law Guardian to have their voices heard.
Im not sure how things are going to work out for us...
But it cant hurt to try...
The boys will be 10 and 9 this year. The older one always asks DH to talk to his ex about living with us, the younger one is kind of indifferent.
I hope everything works out for your girls 
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| Posted 1/21/10 10:24 PM |
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hbugal
Lesigh
Member since 2/07 15928 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
Posted by NinasMommy
Posted by hbugal
How old are the boys?
My girls are in the process of trying to change their visitation schedule with their father. It's a long story and one I wont rehash here..
Because of their age (they just turned 11) the girls were assigned a Law Guardian to have their voices heard.
Im not sure how things are going to work out for us...
But it cant hurt to try...
The boys will be 10 and 9 this year. The older one always asks DH to talk to his ex about living with us, the younger one is kind of indifferent.
I hope everything works out for your girls
You too....
Are you in the same school district as the ex? It might make the issue a lot easier...
In our case the girls father lives 30 minutes away. They spend all week here with me and the weekends with their father (essentially this is how it is). The issue is that they dont have any weekends to spend with their friends...
I can see that becoming an issue for you down the road as well if you changed the phyisical custody....
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| Posted 1/21/10 10:54 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
Posted by hbugal
Posted by NinasMommy
Posted by hbugal
How old are the boys?
My girls are in the process of trying to change their visitation schedule with their father. It's a long story and one I wont rehash here..
Because of their age (they just turned 11) the girls were assigned a Law Guardian to have their voices heard.
Im not sure how things are going to work out for us...
But it cant hurt to try...
The boys will be 10 and 9 this year. The older one always asks DH to talk to his ex about living with us, the younger one is kind of indifferent.
I hope everything works out for your girls
You too....
Are you in the same school district as the ex? It might make the issue a lot easier...
In our case the girls father lives 30 minutes away. They spend all week here with me and the weekends with their father (essentially this is how it is). The issue is that they dont have any weekends to spend with their friends...
I can see that becoming an issue for you down the road as well if you changed the phyisical custody....
we never pursued the joint physical because they boys were in the school district over from us and we didn't want to take them out, but now that the ex is buying a house in a not so great area in a not so great school district, so we figured this would be the perfect time. Since they have to deal with the new school anyway.
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| Posted 1/21/10 11:01 PM |
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
Kristin-it will take me a long time to type this so I will FM you my cell and you can call me and I will go through it with you.
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| Posted 1/21/10 11:05 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
Posted by munchkinfacemama
Kristin-it will take me a long time to type this so I will FM you my cell and you can call me and I will go through it with you. [/QUOTE
ahaha thanks M!
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| Posted 1/21/10 11:06 PM |
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
I'm crashing - I dont' have stepkids but I read an issue of Working Moms at the doctor's office and they were saying that the courts are definitely going more with fathers than before if it's in the best interest of the child. They're looking to cause as little disruption to a child's life as possible according to the judges they interviewed. So the fact that their lives will be changing with EITHER of you is good for your DH's case. Good luck!
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| Posted 1/22/10 8:39 AM |
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
I don't have any advice but I'd like to send out my good thoughts to both Kristin and Heather.
Hope to see some good news posted here soon!!
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| Posted 1/22/10 12:39 PM |
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ricaim
LIF Adult
Member since 8/09 1201 total posts
Name:
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
My DH is going for sole custody (they have joint custody, she has the physical custody). DSS has a law guardian and some significant issues occurred that made DH decide to do this. I know that other states say a child can state where he wants to live by age 12. NY does not have the law, but they still think 12ish is when a kid can better explain their thoughts on living in one place over the other.
Financially, it is expensive to go to family or supreme court. But if you know it will improve your child's life, the I think it is worth the time and money. BM may end up negotiating, which of course decreases costs.
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| Posted 1/23/10 5:40 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
Posted by ricaim
My DH is going for sole custody (they have joint custody, she has the physical custody). DSS has a law guardian and some significant issues occurred that made DH decide to do this. I know that other states say a child can state where he wants to live by age 12. NY does not have the law, but they still think 12ish is when a kid can better explain their thoughts on living in one place over the other.
Financially, it is expensive to go to family or supreme court. But if you know it will improve your child's life, the I think it is worth the time and money. BM may end up negotiating, which of course decreases costs.
There is no cost to file in Family Court the way there is in Supreme. Supreme won't even hear a family law matter unless it retained exclusive jurisdiction following divorce which practically never happens.
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| Posted 1/24/10 9:25 PM |
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cloddy
Holiday 2011 photo
Member since 8/05 8088 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Anyone have any advice re: filing for joint physical custody?
The standard is best interest of the child. The deference to mothers is really a thing of the past. I'd recommend you see if you can work out a more liberal arrangement privately first b/c family court is not a nice place to be and once you petition and invite the county to get involved then you're stuck w/ the Judge's decision like it or not.
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| Posted 2/24/10 11:42 AM |
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