Anyone have(had) a toddler who is self directed, stubborn, bossy, does not adapt well to change/transition...likes to throw hissy fits when things don't go their way...

My son is all of this, do you think he'll change or is this a sign that he will be bad in school? I know it's too early to tell but I'm reallly hoping it's just a phase that all 2 year olds go through??

He just turned two and is undergoing speech therapy which is helping his communication and frustration levels but some days are just bad and I feel really bad for the speech therapist. Sometime I make things up like he went to sleep late, or he's tired. I kind of get a little embarrased but I know they see other kids like this. He's not like this all the time it's really only when he doesn't get his way with things.

Message edited 10/28/2009 11:05:41 PM.

Re: Anyone have(had) a toddler who is self directed, stubborn, bossy, does not adapt well to change/transition...likes to throw hissy fits when things don't go their way...

I don't really have advice, just wanted to send you hugs!

Re: Anyone have(had) a toddler who is self directed, stubborn, bossy, does not adapt well to change/transition...likes to throw hissy fits when things don't go their way...

Re: Anyone have(had) a toddler who is self directed, stubborn, bossy, does not adapt well to change/transition...likes to throw hissy fits when things don't go their way...

Yes. I think of toddlerhood as dealing with an egotistical psychotic - even after you give him what he wants, he doesn't want it & flips out.

The good news is that it should be temporary. It's about wanting to be able to control their world around them and a huge part of it is the inability to be able to express themselves. They know what they want but can't explain it. It's not only for children with speech delay. My son was extremely verbal very early on & had the same issues.

I found it best to give them control about the little things & with the big things have a phrase where he'll know it's not negotiable (we actually used that phrase). Ask him before you do something "do you want to close the door?" , "do you want milk or juice?", "Do you want your ketchup here or there?" It made a huge difference with us.

It should be temporary but I know a lot of adults that fit into your subject line's description.

Hang in there.

Re: Anyone have(had) a toddler who is self directed, stubborn, bossy, does not adapt well to change/transition...likes to throw hissy fits when things don't go their way...

I had to check the poster's name, because I didn't remember typing that, but it sounds just like DS....

He's 6 and he still dislikes change/transition. Still has crying fits if things don't go his way, etc. He's not bossy, though.

He's gotten much better over the years. It's manageable now, and I can usually cool him down and get him to go along with the new activity (now that he's older, I can work with the logical part of his brain).

Plus, we never cave in. He NEVER gets his way when he cries. We take him away from the other kids when he cries, but we never leave the activity. It's slowly sinking in that crying only makes things worse for him. There are no positives, and only negatives. However, it's taken a few years for him to finally start grasping that higher level concept.