Anyones child NOT like school?

Ok..it's January. Megan has been in preschool since September. She is in the UPK program...5 days a week, 2 1/2 hours per day. The beginning was ROUGH! Cried every day for about a month. We got over that..I would stand at the door, wait for her to go up. Then he teacher told me not to stand outside the door anymore and the crying started again. Most days she cries when she goes in, before she goes in but is fine in school..

My concern is though, she tells me all the time she doesnt like school. She cries at night when I put her to bed telling me that she LOVES being with me and doesnt ever want to go to school. She asks me all the time when school will be over and she says every morning that she does not want to go .Even the days that she doesnt cry, she just does not like school. I am so worried this will carry into further years. My sister didnt like school..she had a rough time even through highschool. She was sensitive and hated being away from my Mom. In highschool she over worked herself for perfect grades and drove herself nuts.

I was just wondering if anyone else is dealing with this? How do you handle it? Are you worried for future years? It breaks my heart to see her so sad..I just dont know what to do anymore.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

My son loved preschool and kindergarten. If he did not, I would be greatly concerned about the teacher and the school.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

Robbie went through a phase in kindergarten.. probably around March/April.. where he just HATED school. It was for no discernable reason - he wanted to stay home and be with me. I worried that he was having a difficult time with other kids or the teacher.. but it was just a thing he went through. It lasted about a week or two and then he went back to his normal self.

Noah STILL doesn't like school. He is in 2nd grade and constantly asks if he can be home schooled. He says he daydreams about me when he is at school and wants to just hug me and misses his family a lot. When he was in kindergarten they arranged for him to go see my older son a couple of times because giving him a hug made him feel better about being at school.

I think some kids are just very .. I don't know the word? Maybe homebodies to some extent? Noah doesn't cry and beg to stay home from school anymore - I think he's just more mature and has some to realize through consistency that it ain't gonna happen. But I tell you this.. if I told him he never had to go back he wouldn't cry!!

ETA: When Robbie went through this we gave him a picture of the family to bring with him and it helped immensely. With Noah a picture has the opposite effect. He was staring at it all day and getting mopey. So instead we just carried on business as usual. I would tell him that he knew he had to go to school and that wouldn't change. We also increased the number of play dates he had with people in the class so he could further develop those relationships and it helped a lot,.

Message edited 1/10/2011 9:31:22 AM.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

I was very much like that as a child. I can tell you that it depends A LOT on the teacher.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

If this is her first year, 5 days may be a lot of her.

I also agree a lot has to do with the teacher.

My DD started nursery school last January when she turned 2.5 and after about 5 classes she was fine and would run into the room. She went 2 days a week for 2.5 hours a day. The teacher was wonderful and one of the aides she was closer to than the other.

This year dd is in the same room, different teacher and has an aide from last year. She goes 3 days a week for 2.5 hours a day, started in Sept. and is still crying when I drop her off. She is also less social than last year. This years teacher is good but doesn't have that nurturing quality that the teacher she had last year had and she is the type of child that needs that.

I also registered her for next year and she will had the same teacher DS has this year and I know DD will do great in that class.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

My younger son DOES NOT like school.

He started preschool at 2 and cried EVERY day. EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

At 3 he cried most days, but only at drop off time, and only for a few minutes.

At 4 he sometimes got teary, but mostly went off without a peep.

Now in kindergarten, he loves his teacher, has lots of friends, goes every day with minimal whining (usually) but if given a choice he'd NEVER go back.

Some kids are just like that.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

Can you plan some play dates with other kids in the class? It might help her to make a connection with another child or two in the class, then she might look forward to seeing them everyday. Ava LOVES her classmates, they are all such good friends and I think that's a huge part of why she loves school.

Re: Anyones child NOT like school?

I can offer what happened to me with my oldest daughter and maybe it will be of help.
A formerly school loving, VERY independant child, she suddenly started hiding under the bed and crying that she did not want to leave me, couldn't go to school etc. etc. After speaking with the school social worker, her reason for developing this "separation anxiety" was twofold. One was that her new teacher was not nearly as loving and kid friendly as her previous teachers. As a matter of fact, she was an ex nun who pointed bad behavior out and it just scared the you know what out of my daughter. The other factor was MY reaction to her fears. I could not make heads or tails out of the situation and feared something bad had happened or was happening to her that she could not verbalize. She definitely sensed my fear which subsequently fed hers! WHO KNEW?
Anyway, we did talk to the teacher of course (tactfully) but the biggest change that helped her was ME! I was told to constantly reinforce that she could go to school and be without me for those hours during the day and I would be right there when she returned. Just as I could take care of things during the day without her and look forward to her coming home. I had to be very confident in my confidence in her which wasn't always easy when she was such a wreck. But I did what they suggested and after only a few short weeks, she was back to being the first on the bus!
I would have never guessed that my sympathetic responses were feeding her fear. If Mom is confident that child can thrive our of her presence, eventually child will learn that on their own. Hope that helps. Good luck!