Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

We asked my sister to be DD's Godmother. She accepted happily. She is her "nanny" and loves her to death. DH asked his brother, who lives in AZ to be the Godfather. He accepted and then said he could come in mid-May for the Christening. DH told him that our church only does Christenings on the last Sunday of each month and could he make it in late May. BIL told him he would fly in Friday night, but would have to catch a 5 PM Sunday flight back home to AZ because his wife starts summer school the next day.

Needless to say, drama ensued...we suggested different dates, inexpensive hotels etc, but he basically made it seem as if it would be a tremendous expense and burden on him to come out the NY for a weekend.

It got to the point where I told my DH that I didn't even want BIL to be DD's Godfather because it seemed like such a hassle to him and I want someone who will love my daughter and who will be there for her spiritually, emotionally, physically etc. I suggested that we ask my brother, but DH has hardly any family and he just keeps putting it off, changing the subject etc. I know he feels like his family is never "represented" and it makes him feel bad, but I want my daughter Christened already!

I don't care about a party or a dress or invitations at this point. I just want her to receive this special sacrament.

Is it possible to forgo the Godparents all together? Can a priest do a private baptism, say in a house? My Mom has MS and gets Communion brought to her twice a month by the priest in our parish, so I was thinking of asking if this is possible. Would it even be legit?

Thanks for reading and any advice would be so welcomed!



Erin

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

I think at least 1 Godparent is needed. As for the priest doing it in a house, you will need to check with your parish,cant hurt to ask

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

I agree with you --- if its such a burden for him to come to NY maybe he shouldn't be the godfather.

Nevertheless, I'm pretty sure you only need one official godparent and a proxy can stand in for your BIL.

I hope this helps!

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

I think you should plan the baptism and if the godfather cannot be there, have someone else stand in for him.

I am my best friends daughters godmother, and they live out-of-state. I was unable to attend the christening because my DS was sick, so someone stood in for me. I am listed on her certificate as her godmother though.

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

My brother was christened at my parents home. My dad was sick and they were not sure if he would make it so they had a christening at the house so he could be present.
I would have your brother and sister stand up for dd and if it so important to dh then have bil on the certificate. I am sure your brother will be there for her no matter what name is on the paper

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

I am sorry you are in this situation and I totally understand your point. Maybe give the potential godfather one more chance--say, hey can you come in june? that would be my last straw.

I brought DS to church to be Blessed before his baptism...maybe you can do that?

Also-a friend of mine had a priest come to her house to bless the baby

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

Someone stood in for my BIL. It wasn't a big deal at all.

I don't see how its a reflection on your BIL's love for your daughter. He offered to come.

I do think if its important to your DH to have his brother be the godfather, then I would just go with the flow.

good luck!

Re: Are Godparents 100% necessary for a Baptism? (Long...)

You sound like us with DS#2. The Friday before the baptism we found out the Godfather from FL wasn't coming AND the Godmother said she wasn't coming because I invited her brother (my uncle - ***). I went off the deep end on her. You need at least one Godparent which is what we had, the Godmother showed to the church but was a no show to the party (B*^&*^). Anyhoot, you only need to have one at all, so you could have a Godmother and no Godfather. Just check with the church and make sure.

People are so selfish. Sorry that you have to go through this. It's 14 months later and I'm still ****** when I think about the whole thing.