As a side note....

Just to showcase how little class my SD's BM has.......

As I mentioned in the other post, SD gave us a Christmas gift ( really cute light up Santa figurine), along with cookies and brownies she made ( SD ate them with us so we knew they were safe )

While she's handing us our gift, out of the bag she pulls out 2 pieces of paper, hands them to me and says " My mom said to give this to you guys from when I was in the hospital"....Yes, she gave my SD 2 bills to hand us with our Christmas gift ...Totally innapropriate situation to put an 11 year old in...What is wrong with her ???!!

Then just something I noticed ...My SD has a nickname for me that she has called me since she could talk ( it started as a mis-pronunciation and it just stuck)...

Apparently the fact that my SD had a special name for me, always irritated the BM because she would always correct her when she said it ..SD continued to call me it anyway, nearly 12 years later

Anyhow, on the gift tag, SD wrote my real name but then handed us a card sealed in an envelope and it was addressed to my Dad, "my nickname" , and my 2 DC's ...

My poor SD must have to make a conscious effort to call me by my proper name on anything her mother can see...The amount of mental stress my SD has been under her whole life makes me so sad for her...You can just see the weight of the world on her shoulders, and you always could...

Why make a child feel guilty for loving other people in her life who care about her ?

Re: As a side note....

I feel for you, it is incredible how their jealousy takes over and they put their children in the middle of it b/c they can't accept the fact that their children may have a good relationship with a stepparent. You would think that she would be happy that her daughter has a stepmother that loves her and gets along well with her. I had a similar situation with SD, she always raved about how great I was and wanted to call me "mom", etc. and in the past 3 years she now hates me and I know BM has everything to do with filling her head with negativity (based on some things that have happened in the past year)

BM should never have given SD those bills, she should have had the decensy to mail them to you and leave her out of it.

Re: As a side note....

It's so cute that she has a special nickname for you, and sad that BM can't handle it.

I feel like your SD needs these.

Re: As a side note....

Posted by Bops

Just to showcase how little class my SD's BM has.......

As I mentioned in the other post, SD gave us a Christmas gift ( really cute light up Santa figurine), along with cookies and brownies she made ( SD ate them with us so we knew they were safe )

While she's handing us our gift, out of the bag she pulls out 2 pieces of paper, hands them to me and says " My mom said to give this to you guys from when I was in the hospital"....Yes, she gave my SD 2 bills to hand us with our Christmas gift ...Totally innapropriate situation to put an 11 year old in...What is wrong with her ???!!

Then just something I noticed ...My SD has a nickname for me that she has called me since she could talk ( it started as a mis-pronunciation and it just stuck)...

Apparently the fact that my SD had a special name for me, always irritated the BM because she would always correct her when she said it ..SD continued to call me it anyway, nearly 12 years later

Anyhow, on the gift tag, SD wrote my real name but then handed us a card sealed in an envelope and it was addressed to my Dad, "my nickname" , and my 2 DC's ...

My poor SD must have to make a conscious effort to call me by my proper name on anything her mother can see...The amount of mental stress my SD has been under her whole life makes me so sad for her...You can just see the weight of the world on her shoulders, and you always could...

Why make a child feel guilty for loving other people in her life who care about her ?

Re: As a side note....

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Bops

Just to showcase how little class my SD's BM has.......

As I mentioned in the other post, SD gave us a Christmas gift ( really cute light up Santa figurine), along with cookies and brownies she made ( SD ate them with us so we knew they were safe )

While she's handing us our gift, out of the bag she pulls out 2 pieces of paper, hands them to me and says " My mom said to give this to you guys from when I was in the hospital"....Yes, she gave my SD 2 bills to hand us with our Christmas gift ...Totally innapropriate situation to put an 11 year old in...What is wrong with her ???!!

Then just something I noticed ...My SD has a nickname for me that she has called me since she could talk ( it started as a mis-pronunciation and it just stuck)...

Apparently the fact that my SD had a special name for me, always irritated the BM because she would always correct her when she said it ..SD continued to call me it anyway, nearly 12 years later

Anyhow, on the gift tag, SD wrote my real name but then handed us a card sealed in an envelope and it was addressed to my Dad, "my nickname" , and my 2 DC's ...

My poor SD must have to make a conscious effort to call me by my proper name on anything her mother can see...The amount of mental stress my SD has been under her whole life makes me so sad for her...You can just see the weight of the world on her shoulders, and you always could...

Why make a child feel guilty for loving other people in her life who care about her ?

wow. I can really relate to your stepdaughter. At least she has a stepmother who loves and cares for her!!! She is so lucky!!! (I was fortunate to get to have an abusive mother AND stepmother - boy can my dad pick em )

Re: As a side note....

I know what you mean....

When we would take the kids home after visits, SS would sit there and not move for like 5 minutes. He went from smiling and laughing to leaving the car with a long face and quiet. We realized that he was making himself miserable before he could go into his house.

For the record, or for what is it worth, they really only started seeing BM for what she is for the past 2 years or so. (they are 19&17) so hang in there a few more years, and just keep being the great parents to her that you both are!