Asking MEN about children... never thought about it this way...

YEsterday, I was chatting with a really nice male teacher. We were talking about kids, school, home, married life etc. and he asked about my kids, and then said "Yeah, God hasnt blessed us with children yet"

and I felt so bad that the topic was brought up, and indirectly I guess it was almost as if I had asked "and do you have kids/why not?" (but I didnt )

So I realized that we might not think of how infertility (if this was the case) or even just TTC for a while, affects men also, and it's also a very touchy subject for men....

thoughts ?

Message edited 1/31/2007 9:32:03 AM.

Re: Asking MEN about children... never thought about it this way...

We have friends that are struggling to get preggo and the husband confessed to my DH that he knows it's not right, but he kind of "blames" his wife. I know it's a really tough thing they're going through right now. and it can be just as hard on the guy as the woman.

Re: Asking MEN about children... never thought about it this way...

my DH was talking to a male co-worker about having kids and his co-worker flat out told him that he shouldn't ask people if they're planning to have kids because you never know what issues they may be having. it turns out they had fertility issues and aren't going to be having any kids.

Re: Asking MEN about children... never thought about it this way...

I went to the doctors office for a sinus infection just before I got pregnant, but it was ovulation time, so I asked for a 'pregnancy friendly' antibiotic. The male nurse practitioner just looked so sad, then he started telling me all about their fertility problems trying to have a child. Come to find out, it was the male factor. He told me all about tests that DH should go through if we didn't conceive within the year. I thought he was going to cry.

Re: Asking MEN about children... never thought about it this way...

Men have huge egos, especially in *that* area. It's hard for most men to deal with infertility. Luckily, DW and I only had minor TTC issues, so it never bothered me, and since we have two wonderful DC, we never looked into whose "fault" it might have been. Our society puts a lot of emphasis on the male role of being the provider, and fathering children. That means that men who are having TTC problems have to deal with the usual emotions of not being able to have children, as well as society's burden of "not being a real man".... I am in no way saying that the women have it easier, just mentioning what men are dealing with.

Re: Asking MEN about children... never thought about it this way...