baby shower etiquette question

ok, here's the story.

i live in NC. DH's family lives in FL, and mine lives in NY. a friend of mine here is throwing me a small baby shower, to which i've invited my NC friends. i've been thinking of it as a small, "local" event, not a big deal at all.

but now my SIL/BIL in FL have told DH that they were waiting for the invitation to my baby shower before getting us a gift - even though she clearly will not be coming, and she already knows where i am registered.

is that bizarre, or is it me?

should i be sending invitations to people who i know can't come, like my family and friends in FL and NY? it never occurred to me to do that, and it seems a little strange because i know they can't come. it feels to me like mooching for gifts?

opinions?

Re: baby shower etiquette question

I say why not send, that way they feel included, sending a gift is still there decision, its not like your forcing them to .

Re: baby shower etiquette question

My SIL lives in Colorado. I knew for a fact she was not going to becoming to my shower b/c she already said she was going to fly in when the baby is born. I sent her an invitation anyway so she would not feel like we forgot about her (she is touchy like that though). I also put aside a favor to send her when I mail her thank you.

Re: baby shower etiquette question

Personally, I would send an invite to anyone I genuinely wanted to attend even if I know they can't make it. My two best friends live in Arizona & Virginia. They will both be getting shower invites. To me it doesn't seem right to assume they won't make it and NOT send an invite.

Re: baby shower etiquette question

NONE of my family lives here. SO I knew most would not be able to come but I wanted them to feel included, and did send them invites. They sent gifts to the house which was so nice, but thats not why I sent the invites, I just didnt want them to feel left out....

Re: baby shower etiquette question

None of my family is here either. And since my NY shower is cancelled we decided to just have a couples shower here with local friends, and we'll invite immediate family and close friends who are out of town. Whoever can come will come, but it's not a plea for gifts. We just don't want anyone left out.

Re: baby shower etiquette question

I did not ask that shower invitations be sent to anyone I thought wouldn't come. However, I did have one friend who is very far away ask me to have an invitation sent to her so she could send me a gift even though she wouldn't be there. I guess she wanted to send it around the time I was getting the other gifts or wanted the invitation to remind her. I am not sure why she wanted it, but I just added her to the list.

Re: baby shower etiquette question

I would send an invite to everyone you would if it were in their hometown. People are weird about this stuff

Re: baby shower etiquette question

We have family that lives out of state as well. I'm sending them an invite out of courtesy...its up to them if they want to send a gift or not. I know for sure my SIL and MIL are coming from Florida for the shower.
I got married last year...I invited all those to the bridal shower as well.