Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Connor's baby teacher who I LOVE to death, her last day was suppose to be yesterday. I was shocked when I heard the news that she was leaving. She was Caiden's baby teacher 3 years ago. She is absolutely the best! She decided to stay home with her family and do something with her church. She has kids but they're older.

Anyway, I nurse Connor at lunchtime everyday so I was on my way in to the parking lot and I passed his teacher in her car on her way out. I stopped to talk to her and found out that they fired her on Wednesday! I couldn't believe they would do that to her. She was the ONLY person there who was there for 3 years and has done nothing but please them and did a great job with the babies. I thought she had a great relationship with the owners. It's a mother and daughter who own the place. I guess I was wrong and so was she because they fired her for bringing something to their attention that was looking out for the best interest for the babies. She told them that the afternoon teacher was too rough with the babies. OMG!!! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was telling them about it and was suggesting what they should do and she guesses that they took offense and told her I think you need to leave, you're fired!!! She is so hurt. Just because she was looking out for the babies welfare since she's leaving. She said they wouldn't even let her kiss the babies goodbye on Wednesday so that's what she came back to do yesterday, to say goodbye. She was the teacher that I hear all of the inside scoop with. So now that she's no longer there I won't hear what happens on the inside. Anyway, after I talked to her I went on in to feed Connor and they have 2 other teachers now. 1 that's been working with the one that was fired and another one from another class. Well, I sat with Connor for a minute or so before I fed him and I just got a sick feeling in my stomach. That gut instinct that something wasn't right. Well, at that point I looked around and I seemed to have taken everything in, in a new way. So weird. I guess all of this time since I trusted this other woman I never thought twice about his care. Well, I went to feed him and when I was done one of the teachers was telling me that they missed the other lady because they don't know how she did it. They are so overwhelmed with how to feed and change the babies with them crying, etc. I'm sorry but you don't tell one of the parents that! She just went on and on about how they're trying and it's so hard, etc. That just upset me because if they're so overwhelmed with the feedings and changings then there is no way that they even have the time to interact with the babies. I then noticed that the babies seem to be in the same place as they are all day basically. I noticed a baby laying in their crib with their bottle coughing and choking on the milk with milk all over their face. They're suppose to hold the babies and feed them. I can't believe how things looked differently to me. So it was time for me to go back to work and I just didn't want to put him down knowing that the lady in the afternoon is rough with the babies and the 2 that were there watching them are clueless. Also right in front of me instead of lying the kid down to pull up his pants after changing him she has his feet on the floor and pulling and holding him up by his arm! All I'm thinking is that she could dislocate his arm! Now this baby is only 7-8 months old and can't even walk yet. I wanted to just take my son and leave. I felt so horrible having to leave him there. I just don't trust them with him. I talked to my DH about this and he said we need to pull them out. Yes we could do that, but financially we can't afford anywhere else. This was such a great place until all the good teachers left. They're known for firing the good one's probably for opening their mouths.

Something happened in Caiden's room a while back that Connor's teacher told me that no other parent knows. I won't go on about that but there are other stuff. Now believe me you're probably thinking, OMG why didn't you pull them out a long time ago. Well, it's not that easy. With work, my DH losing his job and the waiting lists for other places and finances it was not possible. But now, I think it's time. My kids shouldn't be in that kind of environment. It's only going to get worse.

It's so hard to believe that this kind of stuff goes on there. I've known all of them since Caiden was 6 weeks old!

Anyway, I just wanted to share what happened. We haven't figured out what to do yet, we still need to talk about it, but me becoming a SAHM looks like it might happen.

Let me just ask... what would you do in this situation?

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

I would not leave him there if I did not fell comfortable. If they were acting this way in front of a parent I can only imagine what goes on when no parents are there.

Good Luck

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

OMG!!! RUN! I would not let my DD stay ther for another sec! If teachers are teling you there's something wrong and that they can't handle the babies then that is a HUGE red flag! I don't mean to make you feel bad but I could not even think about leaving my child there. I know things are tough, but can you imagine if something happened to your kids there? You will find a way. I don't know your entire fininancial situation with your DH loosing his job and you having to work too (trust me, my DH and I both need to work to make ends meet- mortgage, child care, food etc..) and I understand it's tough. Can you research other places? A friend? Family? At least temporary?

Again, I don't know your situation in detail, so forgive me if this upsets you in any way. I am concerned about your kids and the babies that are in there. I wish you the best and please keep us updated on what's happening.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Alright, why the HE!! isnt' someone calling the state and making complaints against this school. If something happened awhile ago that Connor's teacher told you about that implies it wasn't something good, why the HE!! didn't she report this to the state???????? I also think you have a duty as a mother to make a report. I don't think that I would leave my child there either.

As far as working, have you considered working nights somewhere? I still don't think having a one income family at this point is in your best interest.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

You could make an annoymous call to the state to maybe have the place checked and how the teachers are certified to handle babies. Also maybe try toi talk to other parents to see if they are having the same issues as you. Maybe confront the owners as a group. I think that they should be checked on how people are trusting these woman to give their children care. Your instincts were prob right about something not right.. the otherr woman prob covered for all the incomitent woman..

Good luck

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

I don't know what's going on!!! It's really upsetting.

We're definitely not going to be a one income family. I will be working somewhere either during the day for a couple of days and maybe a couple of nights. My mom can watch the boys a couple of days a week. I don't know for sure until I find something. I would like to work as many hours as I can though. Even if I have to get 2 different P/T jobs during the week I'll do it. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I have to at least give my 2 weeks at work, I can't just leave them as much as I'd like to.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

I know you want so badly to become a sahm but it really is NOT that bad working. I have worked though both my kids, even though I have great daycare.
I would either do the pt jobs while your mom watches the boys or look for another daycare
Good Luck!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

I would report them and I would do it quick. They are endangering the children in their care. I hope that teacher calls as well.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

why not see if the teacher who just got fired is willing to watch them at your place (at least until she finds a perm. job)? This way you could continue working full-time.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

I, honestly, don't see why this is such a difficult problem to resolve. If you're working at a job that you hate; are, basically, working to pay for day-care and you now see that your children are in an environment that is, at the very least, lax in the way they handle the children in their care, why are you, even for a moment, hesitating. Your children should be out of that day-care immediately and they should be reported to the state. Staying home would allow you to have more time with your children and they would be safe. If you wanted a part-time job to bring in extra income, you and your husband could work something out. To me, the solution to this problem is a no-brainer.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Posted by CaidensMommy

I don't know what's going on!!! It's really upsetting.

We're definitely not going to be a one income family. I will be working somewhere either during the day for a couple of days and maybe a couple of nights. My mom can watch the boys a couple of days a week. I don't know for sure until I find something. I would like to work as many hours as I can though. Even if I have to get 2 different P/T jobs during the week I'll do it. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I have to at least give my 2 weeks at work, I can't just leave them as much as I'd like to.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Posted by CaidensMommy

Posted by hazeleyes33

I know you want so badly to become a sahm but it really is NOT that bad working. I have worked though both my kids, even though I have great daycare.
I would either do the pt jobs while your mom watches the boys or look for another daycare
Good Luck!

I know working isn't that bad. I did the whole time with Caiden since he was 6 weeks old. I know it gets easier. My issue with it is that I don't bring home much more after I pay for daycare for a job I'M MISERABLE AT!!! To me it's not worth it right now. It would be different if I loved my job and made good money, but the fact is that I don't and I won't be making good money anytime soon. And now I'm wanting to stay home even more after the daycare issues. The problem with putting them in other daycare centers is that they're A LOT more expensive than what I'm paying. I've checked out home daycares in the area and it was HORRIBLE! I couldn't find one decent one. The kids were either kept in a basement to watch TV or the kids took naps in the owners bed! I don't think so. So even if I continued working and tried to make more money, it wouldn't make a difference because I would have to find another daycare and that would cost more so then we're right back to the issues we're having now. I actually love working. It's worked out great for us the way it's been going but now with 2 kids and with a job I HATE, it's pointless. I think I need to just find P/T work. It's not like I have a career or anything it's just a desk job that no one appreciates anyway!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Posted by shamrock124

Posted by CaidensMommy

I don't know what's going on!!! It's really upsetting.

We're definitely not going to be a one income family. I will be working somewhere either during the day for a couple of days and maybe a couple of nights. My mom can watch the boys a couple of days a week. I don't know for sure until I find something. I would like to work as many hours as I can though. Even if I have to get 2 different P/T jobs during the week I'll do it. I just don't know what to do in the meantime. I have to at least give my 2 weeks at work, I can't just leave them as much as I'd like to.

You call into work and tell them that you don't have daycare for your children. That is it. If they fire you, so be it. Your children come first. If you have family available, ask them to help for a little while. That is what family is for. As far as work. Have you considered waitressing? That is what my mom did and it kept food on the table. It was also opposite hours of my dad so no childcare was needed.

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

Honestly??

It sounds like your looking for reasons to be a SAHM without just making the decision yourself.

What does your husband say about all this? Being a SAHM? Working P/T? And the issue at the school?

Does he feel that his job is secure enough after just starting? HE is the one you should be discussing all these issues with.

good luck!

Re: Becoming SAHM might happen sooner than expected!

As others have posted, if you trust the teacher enough that got fired, than maybe you can hire her in your home so you can work.
Also, with everything going on in that room, is there any way you can meet with the director and express your concern. From experience, if the state came in for a "surprise" visit and saw babies in cribs drinking bottles...That is a big "no no"! As someone else posted..instead of talking to the director, maybe make an anonymous call to the state with your concerns.