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Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Don't want to give much of the movie away -- but the idea of being a CF couple and whether that's "enough" definitely plays a point in the new movie.

While I feel as though one day we will probably have kids, I have NO JUDGMENT for any couple who doesn't. But in one scene, a character really really gets "that look" when they say they aren't having kids, from another woman. It made me so Chat Icon!

Posted 5/28/10 12:52 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

Name:
DiamondMama

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

My opinion is *I* can only say what is right for *my* relationship.

I know CF couples who are totally fulfilled.

For ME I want children. But if god forbid I cannot have, adoption doesn't work etc. my DH IS enough for me Chat Icon

Posted 5/28/10 1:10 PM
 

Nik211
my little monkey<3

Member since 5/08

3303 total posts

Name:
Nik

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

I used to think it was weird when I was younger - I didn't understand why grown ups wouldn't want kids...

Now that I am a grown up, I could totally see why...I think if for whatever reasons DH I couldn't ever have kids biological, adopted, whatever - I think we could still enjoy other things in life, I enjoy so many little things in life now with DH that it makes me want to wait a little bit to have kids...if we were never going to have kids we'd probab;y buy a boat (something we want now but won't get b/c we plan on having a family and a boat is an expense we don't need when we have a family), we could travel more, spend more on vacations etc.

Now that I am older I don't think twice about people who wait a long time to start a family, or who don't start a family at all...I don't think you need children to enjoy life or to be happy...

Posted 5/28/10 1:25 PM
 

Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st

Member since 5/05

15287 total posts

Name:

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

There are a lot of posts in this forum where family and friends have very strong opinions about couples that decide not to have children.

Personally, I don't understand why anyone cares what another couple does and why they think it's their business to continually comment on it. I was lucky in that I was never really questioned about my decision which I made almost 20 years ago.

Posted 5/28/10 1:35 PM
 

KLSbear
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

1908 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

We were fortunate in escaping questions and pressure too, though it probably had more to do with the fact that we were in our 30's when we met and didn't marry right way, so by the time we married we were of an age where people would more likely ask if we were crazy having a child, or adopting, at that age. I actually always wanted to have children but it just didn't happen for me, and after we married our lives just didn't seem to be in the right place to try and pursue adoption even with considering adoption of an older child.

Posted 5/28/10 7:33 PM
 

MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3

Member since 1/06

19197 total posts

Name:
Michelle

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by KLSbear

We were fortunate in escaping questions and pressure too, though it probably had more to do with the fact that we were in our 30's when we met and didn't marry right way, so by the time we married we were of an age where people would more likely ask if we were crazy having a child, or adopting, at that age. I actually always wanted to have children but it just didn't happen for me, and after we married our lives just didn't seem to be in the right place to try and pursue adoption even with considering adoption of an older child.



I am not childfree... however, it was the complete opposite for me.

DH and I were also older when we met and got married (DH was 40 when we got married), I was 35. The questions and comments started as soon as we were engaged about having to start a family ASAP BECAUSE of our ages. Not having children was never on the table for us, we both wanted them...

There were bets going on at our wedding as to when our first child would be born.....Chat Icon

Posted 5/28/10 7:42 PM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Fortunately all our friends and family already know the score.

It's my co workers that don't know, and when they ask I actually turn it around and say "Kids?? Oh no.", like they're crazy for even making that suggestion, and I add a crazy look too! Works well and I get a laugh out of it.Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 5/28/10 8:03 PM
 

KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy

Member since 3/09

1579 total posts

Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

I was with my 2 mommy BFs at the movie last night & we all laughed when that scene came on...cause they know I don't want kids, and although they wish i did so all our kids could be friends they understand me and don't give me crap about it.

Posted 5/28/10 9:41 PM
 

BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here

Member since 5/07

8274 total posts

Name:
BunnyWife

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by KLSbear

We were fortunate in escaping questions and pressure too, though it probably had more to do with the fact that we were in our 30's when we met and didn't marry right way, so by the time we married we were of an age where people would more likely ask if we were crazy having a child, or adopting, at that age. I actually always wanted to have children but it just didn't happen for me, and after we married our lives just didn't seem to be in the right place to try and pursue adoption even with considering adoption of an older child.



I am not childfree... however, it was the complete opposite for me.

DH and I were also older when we met and got married (DH was 40 when we got married), I was 35. The questions and comments started as soon as we were engaged about having to start a family ASAP BECAUSE of our ages. Not having children was never on the table for us, we both wanted them...

There were bets going on at our wedding as to when our first child would be born.....Chat Icon



Uggggg. I'm sorry for you. Why are people so interested in others sex lives? It's so, for lack of a better word, ickyChat Icon

Posted 5/29/10 4:06 PM
 

maxsgirl
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

2086 total posts

Name:
sarah

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

still shocked some people cant grasp the fact that married people can be fully satisfied being together without children. Chat Icon

We went to a bbq yesterday and for the tenth millionth time we were told "oh we said the same thing when we were younger, we would never have children. Then we had one and let me tell you, there is no love like a child" Mind you, this whole conversation came up AFTER her child threw a temper tantrum.

I get it, Im sure if we had children we would love them unconditionally, but we dont want children. Why cant we just say that we do not want children and people just support our decision without trying to give reasons to have children?

Message edited 5/31/2010 8:57:29 AM.

Posted 5/31/10 8:57 AM
 

Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed

Member since 4/09

6691 total posts

Name:

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by maxsgirl

still shocked some people cant grasp the fact that married people can be fully satisfied being together without children. Chat Icon

We went to a bbq yesterday and for the tenth millionth time we were told "oh we said the same thing when we were younger, we would never have children. Then we had one and let me tell you, there is no love like a child" Mind you, this whole conversation came up AFTER her child threw a temper tantrum.

I get it, Im sure if we had children we would love them unconditionally, but we dont want children. Why cant we just say that we do not want children and people just support our decision without trying to give reasons to have children?



i agree 100% with everything. I personally believe that people with kids (some of them, not all) want everyone to be as miserable as they are(and are jealous of our decision) but would never admit it to anyone OR themselves (hence, the love of a child comment after the tantrum)...like they're trying to convince you (and themselves)that life is grand. The whole misery loves company thing, kwim?

Posted 5/31/10 10:35 AM
 

Nifheim
allo

Member since 1/09

5476 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by Mushesgirl
I personally believe that people with kids (some of them, not all) want everyone to be as miserable as they are(and are jealous of our decision) but would never admit it to anyone OR themselves (hence, the love of a child comment after the tantrum)...like they're trying to convince you (and themselves)that life is grand. The whole misery loves company thing, kwim?



Completely agree. My boss constantly asks me - when are you going to have kids, but in the same breath he tells me how god awful his life is 80% of the time because of them. I think many people want people to have kids because they want to join them complaining about them. They actually could care less if you breed because they think it would be a wonderful addition to the family (not everyone but many from my experience.)

Also, when you try to sympathize with a parent you get the "well you don't have kids so you don't know how it is" so I now just don't bother even trying to sympathize with them anymore, just listen to them shake me head and tune out 95% of the complaining.


Posted 6/1/10 10:11 AM
 

PrincessVonTrockel
Trophy Wife in Training

Member since 11/09

2953 total posts

Name:
Natalie

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

I LOOOOOOOOVED that part of the movie......DH came to see it with me and we both kept giving each other the "that's US!" look about Carrie & Big.

"Me and you, Just us two"

Posted 6/1/10 1:40 PM
 

METLove2008
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/08

541 total posts

Name:
Ellie

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by Mushesgirl

Posted by maxsgirl

still shocked some people cant grasp the fact that married people can be fully satisfied being together without children. Chat Icon

We went to a bbq yesterday and for the tenth millionth time we were told "oh we said the same thing when we were younger, we would never have children. Then we had one and let me tell you, there is no love like a child" Mind you, this whole conversation came up AFTER her child threw a temper tantrum.

I get it, Im sure if we had children we would love them unconditionally, but we dont want children. Why cant we just say that we do not want children and people just support our decision without trying to give reasons to have children?



i agree 100% with everything. I personally believe that people with kids (some of them, not all) want everyone to be as miserable as they are(and are jealous of our decision) but would never admit it to anyone OR themselves (hence, the love of a child comment after the tantrum)...like they're trying to convince you (and themselves)that life is grand. The whole misery loves company thing, kwim?



ITA! Misery loves company! When my friends with kids sit there and try to make me feel like I'm crazy and say how much I'm missing out... I remind them of all the times they've called me up crying or angry about something their kids did. Then they shut up lol.

Posted 6/8/10 10:13 AM
 

Kara
Now Zagat Rated!

Member since 3/07

13217 total posts

Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by maxsgirl

still shocked some people cant grasp the fact that married people can be fully satisfied being together without children. Chat Icon

We went to a bbq yesterday and for the tenth millionth time we were told "oh we said the same thing when we were younger, we would never have children. Then we had one and let me tell you, there is no love like a child" Mind you, this whole conversation came up AFTER her child threw a temper tantrum.

I get it, Im sure if we had children we would love them unconditionally, but we dont want children. Why cant we just say that we do not want children and people just support our decision without trying to give reasons to have children?



I could have written this word for word. I think the next time it happens, I'll ask, "Would we have gotten a lecture on our choice had we said we wanted children? I'm not changing my mind. I just want to know how to avoid this diatribe in the future."

Posted 6/9/10 4:35 PM
 

kimbalina
Bring on the glitter and bows!

Member since 6/08

15158 total posts

Name:
Kim

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

I saw the movie and thought the same thing about that scene. I wanted to rip their heads off.

Posted 6/24/10 8:51 AM
 

blondiebabyZ
Ohhhh yeaaahh!!

Member since 6/10

1033 total posts

Name:

Re: Being Childfree topic coming up in SATC2

Posted by Kara

Posted by maxsgirl

still shocked some people cant grasp the fact that married people can be fully satisfied being together without children. Chat Icon

We went to a bbq yesterday and for the tenth millionth time we were told "oh we said the same thing when we were younger, we would never have children. Then we had one and let me tell you, there is no love like a child" Mind you, this whole conversation came up AFTER her child threw a temper tantrum.

I get it, Im sure if we had children we would love them unconditionally, but we dont want children. Why cant we just say that we do not want children and people just support our decision without trying to give reasons to have children?



I could have written this word for word. I think the next time it happens, I'll ask, "Would we have gotten a lecture on our choice had we said we wanted children? I'm not changing my mind. I just want to know how to avoid this diatribe in the future."



ITA!!! And totally love your question on how to get out of the lecture!! Chat Icon Chat Icon its like inevitable to hear once someone says they dont want kids. I think people are just so accustomed to the social norm that your crazy for not following it and wanting children bc thats what "your supposed to do."

Posted 6/24/10 10:43 AM
 
 

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