blended family title question

I was at a school function for my stepson today and after being asked by 3 people in front of my stepson, i figured i'd put it out here to see what you do in this situation...

you are with your stepchild(ren) and someone asks you - is this your son/daughter?

do you reply with a simple yes it's my son/daughter or do you say it's your stepson/stepdaughter or refer to the child as your husband's son/daughter

Is there any reason you choose one over the other?

Re: blended family title question

I forgot to add my answer - I replied yes b/c i don't like to differentiate, but then i think maybe he wants me to...we haven't had that discussion yet and now that he's living with us i guess we should...just wanted to see wat you guys think about this situation.

tia

Re: blended family title question

the couple of times that that has happened to me my SD was quick to add "she's not my mother"....so she took care of that question.

Re: blended family title question

I always have acknowledged that I am the step mother. They have a mother, although not in their life, but I am not their mother and it is not fair to just ignore the error. It is not a big deal, though, if it is someone like in a store or something, where it doesn't matter, but with school, friends, etc., I make the distinction.

Re: blended family title question

i'm so confused on this matter b/c when i have my son and my stepson w/me - i feel bad to say "oh this is my son, that is my stepson" vice versa, kwim? i guess we'll have the talk sometime this week to see what he is more comfortable with. either way, he never corrects me or them so i don't know his stance on it yet.

Re: blended family title question

My DH always refers to my daughters as his daughters never step. They would not correct him and would be hurt if he referred to them as his "step" daughters instead of simply daughter....

Unfortunitely my stepdaughters would be all too quick to point out that I am not their mom. So I would refer to them as my stepdaughters....

In our case it shows the lack of support of our blended family from his ex...

I have many many issues with my ex. But I'll have to give the devil his due and say that he is supportive of our blended family in that respect....or he at least keeps his mouth shut.

Re: blended family title question

I always refer to SD as my stepdaughter or "my husband's daughter". Like a PP said, SD is very quick to correct someone if they mistake me for her mother or ask if I'm her mother. The fact is she's not my daughter, so I don't tell people she is.

Re: blended family title question

It wouldn't even cross my mind to refer to them as my children, they're my stepchildren and i'm fine with that. I don't think i'd go so far as to correct someone if they called them my son or daughter. We've been in situations where someone has said how beautiful she is or that we look like sisters and we just laugh (oddly, we do look alike), however, if I was speaking with someone....I would say, "This is my SD or SS _____ "

Re: blended family title question

One time SD and I were out shopping and someone commented about me being a nice mom for buying her something she wanted. She corrected the woman and said I was her stepmom. I was fine with that.

Re: blended family title question

It depends on who's asking. If it's a stranger that I'm never going to see again, then I'll say yes because it isn't a big deal. However, if it's someone that I'm meeting for the first time like a new friend, then I'll say "well she's my step-daughter" just to avoid confusion later on.

If someone calls me mom in front of DD, she won't correct them. It's awesome!! I make sure she knows that I'm not trying to be her mom but that I do love her and treat her as if she were my own. Fortunately she "gets it" so we have a good relationship, and it also helps that we have a good situation with her mother.

Re: blended family title question

I always say stepson and if I didnt I am sure he will retort with she is my stepmom or not my mother Its the same as when I am with my neice and people think I am her mother.

Re: blended family title question

I would have replied:

Yes, he's my stepson.

Yes, he's my son, but to be more precise... my stepson!



I think my stepsons understand that people assume I am their mother when we are out, and they just smile knowingly at me if someone makes teh mistake.

Several years ago, when my younger ss was about 5, and DH and I were engaged, we were at a restaurant and the waitress called me their mother. SS happily said, well, she's not really our mother, but she will be our stepmother soon!