luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Blonde jokes.
Blond Talk
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking........ and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you
think is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
you see Florida..?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very
nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and
sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How
can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She
pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and
screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to
his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We
were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the
sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook
their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!"
said
the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science &Nature. Her question
was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you
hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two
new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was
named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs
like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're
watch dogs!"
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