As if Howard K. Stern weren't bad enough.....

Britney Spears' former buttboy is cashing in on his short-lived relationship with the hard-pAArtying mother of two.

The model/actor/wannabe sat down with the News Of The World for this enlightening interview:

- "She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous. She was totally happy when we were locked in each other's arms. But once the sex stopped Britney was like a little girl lost, unable to cope.
- "She would lie like a limp rag doll in my arms and and say, 'Why can't everyone leave me alone?' and, 'What have I done to deserve this?'"
- "By the time I met Britney she was burnt out. She knew she had been drinking and partying as a way to try to banish the bad stuff from her life. Far from the trashy drunk, I saw a very shy, sweet girl who was just desperately sad about what had happened with her marriage.
- "Yes she enjoyed Jack Daniel's but she was trying not to get in the state she had been in with Paris. Her boys mean everything to her and she worried she might lose them in a custody battle.
- "It was clear she was not over her marriage. The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us. She had not even begun to move on with her life."
- "She needed me to hold her and tell her what a beautiful girl she is. We would make slow love until the sun came up.
- "She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it."
- "Like any woman who has had two children she worried about her figure. As far as I was concerned she was gorgeous, but she had such low self esteem she sometimes would not listen."
- "She would say, 'Am I fat? Am I fat?' then spend hours dancing around the house trying to burn off calories. She was always jumping around."
- "Other times, she got so low she didn't care what she looked like. She could not care less some days if she went out of the house without brushing her hair or checking to see if her outfit matched."
- "That's just where she was in her life. She had so much on her plate with the children she had precious little time to worry about how she looked."
- "I adore Britney and in a different place at a different time we might have stood a chance. It was far too soon for her to get involved in a relationship with anyone.
- "But she has coped with so much in her life I hope she does not give up now. She is too special for that."