BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

I have a 2.5 year old son and am going in for a c-section next Tuesday to have baby #2. I really need help coping with the thought of leaving DS for four days while I am in the hospital having DD.

I have never been so emotional over something in my entire life, and I've been through a lot.

I just can't deal. I've never been away from him for longer than 4-5 hours at a time. BTDT Moms, how did you deal? I know he will be in great hands, but I am already suffocating at the thought of it. Especially the thought of being in the hospital all alone at night. It just makes me so sad

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

No advice but I am right there with you. I am due March 16th and I am dreading, absolutely dreading, leaving my 4 yr old DD. I have never been away from her so its going to be hard on me........and her. I am not looking forward to it at all. And with visiting hrs the way they are at St Charles, I will only get to see her 2 hrs in the afternoon and 1 hr at night.........I am going to die. So little time with her. Ugh!! Dreading giving birth.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

I was nervous abt this too, but it was fine. Dd stayed with grandma for 4 days and came to see me for 2 hrs everyday. I had an emergency c section 3.5 weeks early. When the time comes you just do what you have to and it will be ok because it has to be. Trust me, the anticipation is the worst. Good luck!

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

Had DS stay at grandmas house.

You won't be alone in the hospital, the new baby will be with you!

I didn't even have DS visit. It was better for him that way!

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

My original due date would have left my 1 year old DS home without me & I wasn't nervous bc I knew my mom would be there since it was a scheduled section.

Well when I went into labor 8 weeks early, I panicked bc my DS was only 10.5 months & my parents weren't in from out of state. It actually worked out fine.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

I know what you mean. My will be 17 months when this baby comes. DH told me he would stay with me at the hospital at night and have them sleep at his mom's. I was like no way. They already have enough change going on and will be confused why I'm not home. They need to go to sleep in their own cribs.

DH and I both had the stomach virus on Friday and we could not take care of the boys. They stayed at my in-laws. I was a wreck. I knew they were in great hands but I never not had the home with us. I literally cried myself to sleep that night.

My friend has 3 kids and she told me that it definitely is so much lonelier in the hospital with the second two. Less people visited, her DH was helping to take care of the kids. She just used the time for 1-1 bonding with the new baby since she knew when she got home there would be very little alone time.

I hear ya. I didn't even get to the hospital yet and cant wait to be home already. GL!

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

We left DD with both grandmas (they flew in from OOS) so I knew she was in good hands. I panicked more about them driving to the hospital to visit with her. I'm just nervous about other people driving my kids around. I did give them instructions on how to properly buckle her in her car seat well before I went into the hospital. Find someone you trust and prepare your child for you being gone. I had taken DD to a sibling class at the hospital so she got familiar with where I would be going and for why.

My hospital stay was very lonely though. This time, with #3, I'm going to ask to go home early if all is okay. I hardly got any sleep there anyway and was so tired when I got home. I felt great after my second birth and hope the same for this one.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

misery loves company i will be right there with you, just 1 day ahead.

he will be FINE and so will you. Do you guys have the ability to Facetime whenever you want? I am sure he will visit.

hugs i am just trying not to think about it.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

I wasn't in the hospital to have a second child but, I have a string of bad luck and wound up in the hospital for a week twice since he was born.

I am not going to lie. Both times were very, very tough. However, I was really sick. The first time I was in contact isolation and he wasn't allowed to see me. He was only one so he couldn't understand. When I came home he was so shocked to see me.

The second time, he came to see me everyday. That helped. He was a bright spot in my day. He would bring a meal and eat with me or I would save my pudding or something for him. He loved the hospital bed and was really ok.

I missed his first ear tube surgery the first time and his third birthday party the second time. I would recommend bringing a laptop or iPad because you can use the wifi and skype him. I watched his birthday party and you could even be with him for bedtimes stories.

Hang in there.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

DS1 was 3.5 when DS2 was born. I was supposed to have a scheduled c-section and my parents were going to come up the weekend before. Instead, my water broke the week before. DS went to daycare as usual. I had gone to the doctor just to confirm that my water had broken. We stopped by daycare before heading to the hospital to tell DS and let him know that his grandparents would be picking him up. I cried when I saw him. My parents drove up, stopped by the hospital quickly (still in labor) and then went to get DS. By the time they got back, DS2 was born. They let DS and my parents into the recovery room so everyone could spend a little time with DS2.

My parents stayed over our house for a night or two to help out. DH stayed with me during the day, but went home at night to help with DS. We kept DS's routine of going to daycare and then DH would bring him by to visit in the late afternoon or early evening. I never like being away from DS overnight, but he did great. It also helped that he visited often.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

Ds had a great time staying w grandma. He was fine, came to the hospital once. I had a c sec so I even let him stay an extra night w g-ma. Enjoy it bc it's hard w the 2 kids together

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

In the same boat!

My twins love my parents/brother/babysitter all who will be helping out while I am in the hospital. So I know they will be fine! They are still in the out of sight out of mind mentality. Sort of.

Re: BTDT - Moms of 2 kids (re: hospital stay)

I was dreading my hospital stay with #2 too. I felt so bad leaving my DS who was 34 months old. I was crying on the way to the hospital thinking about my DS and that i didn't get to say goodbye to him (water broke weeks early).

Well the anticipation was definitely worse! DS was fine. Bring an iPad so you can FaceTime, that really helped. We also brought activities and toys for him to do at the hospital to keep him entertained so he could visit longer. It'll be ok!