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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
We have twins in our neighborhood. Twin 1 is very nice. Twin 2 has made both my kids cry at various times. Twin 1 and 2 also fight a lot with one another.
We are snowed in and I would like to invite only Twin 1 over.
Is this ok to do? How can I word only inviting 1 twin?
I have had them over before but it was always together and results in some sort of drama. DS has also gone over to their house and usually plays mostly with Twin 1.
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Posted 1/25/16 10:18 AM  |
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Ritse
LIF Adolescent
Member since 7/06 711 total posts
Name:
Who's asking?
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
I understand that Twin 2 isn't very nice but I would never do what you are asking!
They are all the same age so I don't even know how you'll put it, and to come out and tell the parents well, we kinda of like only one of your kids is kinda mean....
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| Posted 1/25/16 10:23 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by Ritse
I understand that Twin 2 isn't very nice but I would never do what you are asking!
They are all the same age so I don't even know how you'll put it, and to come out and tell the parents well, we kinda of like only one of your kids is kinda mean....
Agree- (mom of twins here).
Only way that would ever happen is since my twins are in separate classes, the tend to make separate friends so occasionally they are invited by themselves but its RARE.
Message edited 1/25/2016 10:27:55 AM.
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| Posted 1/25/16 10:27 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
As a mom of twins with one very difficult and one more easy going
This breaks my heart ,is my biggest fear and why I avoid playdAtes
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| Posted 1/25/16 10:29 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
And who would watch the other twin?
Would this be a drop off play date where the mom would go home?
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| Posted 1/25/16 10:29 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by NervousNell
And who would watch the other twin?
Would this be a drop off play date where the mom would go home?
I am pretty sure dad is home with twins. I don't necessarily want to entertain dad with twins either.
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| Posted 1/25/16 10:33 AM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
I wouldn't invite just one.
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| Posted 1/25/16 10:56 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Hrm
When my twin brothers were much much younger sometimes yes one would be invited and the other not. We sorta enjoyed those. We got to spend time with the other twin alone. A rare thing indeed. So Dan would go out with his kid buddies and I'd take Dae out myself for a treat. He loved it. I got alone time with him. He didn't have to battle for attention. Dan got his buddies. Everyone was happy.
For us Dae had developmental issues that kept him behind so he repeated Kinder. But even before that, he was different than Dan's friends. So they were always in different circles. Still I always liked having Dae alone and sometimes it would go the other way and I'd have 'my baby' Dan alone too. They were always together, as twins are, but getting them separate gave them both time to themselves with my Dad or me. They are both now grown men and I think they still remember those alone times.
Now we never condoned just excluding one or the other for the sake of exclusion but Danny would take care of that. He defended his brother in that way. You couldn't call Damian stupid or dumb or make fun of him. You don't want to play with him, that's fine, but you don't tease him or make fun of him and still think Danny would be cool with you, even in Kinder or 1st grade LOL.
Dae had a tendency of being a little rough tho. So we understood the hesitation. Wasn't fair to Dan either so we made them solo days instead.
Would I invite only one twin? I guess yeah I would. Just because that is the one twin my kid got along with. Just like if they had a sibling of a year older or younger that my kid didn't get along with, would I be required to invite them over? So far my daughter has been friends with a few sets of twins and friends with the set, not just one or the other so it hasn't been an issue. My only issue has been remembering names!
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| Posted 1/25/16 11:08 AM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Im an identical twin. I couldnt do that. Its both or none. Jmo of course. I know me and my sister were/still very close. We would have been sad if one was left out in our younger years. But then again we were both sweet girls. Lol
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| Posted 1/25/16 11:16 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
When they are young, I think you invite both. When the kids are older and making their own play dates, then it's a different story IMO.
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| Posted 1/25/16 11:23 AM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
For a situation like this I would say you would have to invite both...sorry! I have been in a similar situation but this was with 4th grade girls and the kids were in different classes - my DD invited the twin that was in her class to her sleepover and I felt a little sad for the other kid but DD said that she is mean and that her twin wanted to come by herself. I did speak to the mom about it first and she said it was fine to invite just one.
If they lived on my street though and I was inviting them over especially on a snowy day then I would invite both or none.
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| Posted 1/25/16 11:26 AM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by NYCGirl80
When they are young, I think you invite both. When the kids are older and making their own play dates, then it's a different story IMO.
ITA
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| Posted 1/25/16 11:33 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by Pinkisles
I wouldn't invite just one.
Same here.
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| Posted 1/25/16 11:56 AM |
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MrsZ2014
LIF Adult
Member since 2/15 909 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by NYCGirl80
When they are young, I think you invite both. When the kids are older and making their own play dates, then it's a different story IMO.
Agree
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| Posted 1/25/16 1:46 PM |
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Mara1017
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 696 total posts
Name:
Mara
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by NervousNell
And who would watch the other twin?
Would this be a drop off play date where the mom would go home?
I am pretty sure dad is home with twins. I don't necessarily want to entertain dad with twins either.
I do not know how old the children you are talking about but my oldest is 3 and unless it was a close friend I would not be dropping my son off anyone's house for a play date. So unless you are ready for the father and the children to come over I would probably not do a play date.
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| Posted 1/25/16 2:27 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by Mara1017
Posted by Bridex100
Posted by NervousNell
And who would watch the other twin?
Would this be a drop off play date where the mom would go home?
I am pretty sure dad is home with twins. I don't necessarily want to entertain dad with twins either.
I do not know how old the children you are talking about but my oldest is 3 and unless it was a close friend I would not be dropping my son off anyone's house for a play date. So unless you are ready for the father and the children to come over I would probably not do a play date.
They are 7 year olds, almost 8. My son is 6, almost 7 years old. Except for the first play date, all our play dates have been drop off.
We see them at the bus stop everyday and at school events all the time. We are friendly, just not friends.
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| Posted 1/25/16 3:21 PM |
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luckysmom
Yes it is! Going as planned:)
Member since 6/07 5339 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by gina409
As a mom of twins with one very difficult and one more easy going
This breaks my heart ,is my biggest fear and why I avoid playdAtes
This!
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| Posted 1/25/16 3:44 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Don't do it. It's not very nice
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| Posted 1/25/16 4:18 PM |
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by Mrs213
Don't do it. It's not very nice
Exactly
And like that won't help make the mean kid turn nice. They are just Little kids. Take both. Plan something fun. Watch over the meanie and direct him if he becomes a jerk. This is a teachable moment.
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| Posted 1/25/16 4:31 PM |
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evrythng4areason
And then there were 4
Member since 1/10 5224 total posts
Name:
Kayla
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Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Why is it not nice at those ages? Twins are also individual people..
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| Posted 1/25/16 4:52 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by evrythng4areason
Why is it not nice at those ages? Twins are also individual people..
Well for me if my twins hung out with kids and them all the sudden only one was invited. Well I would take the hint
And have to explain to the not invited one
That doesn't mean they can't and don't do separate accio yes and playdAtes. Two separate things
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| Posted 1/25/16 4:56 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by gina409
Posted by evrythng4areason
Why is it not nice at those ages? Twins are also individual people..
Well for me if my twins hung out with kids and them all the sudden only one was invited. Well I would take the hint
And have to explain to the not invited one
That doesn't mean they can't and don't do separate accio yes and playdAtes. Two separate things
I don't have twins but I do have 2 boys who are exactly 2 yrs apart.
Older child gets invitations for only him often. I declined for a while or just invited kids to our house because it was too much drama for younger child. It just wasn't worth it.
Now that the kids are a little older, younger DS has his own friends. I try to plan so that when older DS has a play date, younger DS also has plans with one of his friends.
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| Posted 1/25/16 5:02 PM |
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
If they are under 6, I'd say no.
If they are older than 6, I'd say yes, def. They are individual people and don't need to be the same at all times. After 6, they start to have their own friends and own activities. As a teacher, we usually separate twins in school and they have two different teachers with two different social situations. I don't think a classmate of one class should have to invite the other twin they don't know very well to everything.
I see my opinion is very different than others, but I grew up with twins as my best friends. I wouldn't not invite both to a birthday party or something big, but a regular come over and play- it's fine to just invite one. and everyone worries about the parents of the twins, but what about you? If you just want a single friend playdate and not have to deal with an extra kid + everything that comes along with siblings (like sibling fighting!) you shouldn't have to!
I say invite 1 and see if the parent declines or accepts. You will only know if you try. So I say invite 1. If they say no, you can say okay well maybe all 3 of them can get together at some other point in time. If they say yes, great!
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| Posted 1/25/16 6:28 PM |
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Mara1017
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/11 696 total posts
Name:
Mara
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Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
If in the past you have always invited both I would continue to do so. But if you haven't in the past and your child is only in one of the twins class and only friends with the one I don't think it is wrong to only invite the one that he is friends with.
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| Posted 1/25/16 6:44 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Can I just invite 1 twin over for a play date?
Posted by Mara1017
If in the past you have always invited both I would continue to do so. But if you haven't in the past and your child is only in one of the twins class and only friends with the one I don't think it is wrong to only invite the one that he is friends with.
I just didn't invite them over at all. Didn't want to take both and didn't want to hurt feelings.
Our street is finally plowed. School is closed again tomorrow so I'm going to ask a group of kids if they want to do something at a public place. No twin exclusion.
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| Posted 1/25/16 7:54 PM |
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